[blparent] how to handle a baby while you multi task

[Marla Wertman]

Goodness Rebecca unless you are involved with this family on a personal
level you make a lot of assumptions here.Hena never once indicated that
she was unhappy in her marriage. I think it's probably a bit premature
and we don't have enough information to even give the suggestion that
she and her husband separate.It is not easy as a blind person and for
anyone else for that matter to find work, so they are very fortunate
that both parents are able to work. I do agree with you that they need
to spend some time  together as a family, but we can't suggest quitting
jobs and separating with the information we were given.I think one of
the problems with this list is that people want to give opinions about
things that were not asked.I appologize if you have some information
about this situation that we don't, but if that is the case and you have
been told things in confidence then you should make suggestions like
that privately.
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 17:50:43 +0000
"Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:

> What nobody has mentioned is that Hena is parenting alone at the butt end of her and the baby's day.
> She is married and doesn't get the bennifit of either being a stay-at-home mom, nor does she get the bennifits of the company of the man who agreed and promised to love and cherish her. She doesn't get to enjoy the baby when they are both awake and rested. She doesn't get to meet other parents. She always feels like she has to keep up because she's working during the day.
> She and her husband do not share experiences and time with the child. They don't really share experiences with each other.
> Hena will not have the ability to stay late at work, or take a class or meet a friend for a drink.
> It is amiserable way to live.
> What to do with the baby is an easy question. What to do about the marriage is harder.
> Hena, I'd urge you and your husband to work the same schedule, or one of you to be a stay at home parent.  The money you're saving now isn't worth it. You need each other and your child needs both of you though in very different ways.  I'd insist the schedule aspect change.  Seriously ask yourself if you'd be better off separated. You'd have to parent, but you'd also have the freedom to find a man who wants to be a companion.  You don't have that now, even if you think you do.  Even if you don't really like your husband, your child needs both of you. You both interact with him or her in very different ways and sometimes those ways appear when all of you are together. This is good for everybody. Even if you guys don't want to do the traditional marriage plan, you do need to coparent together. That doesn't mean play "pass the kid"
> My best advice is to tell you rhusband you and he need to work the same schedule so that neither of you is parenting for long stretches. Your other advice is to have one of you stay home where the stay at home parent gets to make friends, can enjoy parent-kid activities and be part of a group. Your current model is not sustainable.  You're already seeing this.
> 
> 
> org] On Behalf Of hina altaf
> Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2012 11:13 AM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] how to handle a baby while you multi task
> 
> Hi,
> I am a working mom and when I come home, my husband leaves for work
> and I and the baby are all alone. He is in the stage where he wants to
> crawl and roll over but we do not have a carpet and it is hard wood
> floor. when I am cooking, my husband asked me to put him in the car
> seat but he likes to move around and I am afraid he may fall. Do you
> have any suggestions? what techniques do you all use to watch the baby
> so you can do other house work?
> Hina.
> 
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	Marla Wertman
Avon representative
http://www.youravon.com/mwertman