[blparent] Please help me snap out of my pity-party

[Brandy Wojcik]

I have friends who can see call me all the time telling me of their
misshaps.

As for the snow thing I wish we had snow. When kids ask me to look at
something like snow or wind I go with them, we share the time together, and
I'll often say something what do you think of the snow? Or tell me what you
like best. You don't have to make your vision the center of such
experiences. In the snow instance you got the more meaningful experience you
may not have taken if you couldn't see.

Bran


-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo
Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2012 3:43 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Please help me snap out of my pity-party

Hi, Jen.  I've felt your frustrations and they are completely
understandable.  Even with one preschooler, sometimes she'll do the same
thing--they must all like water and glue--and I'll think, a sighted person
would have prevented that!  But there are two things I try to tell myself. 
First, it's just water or just glue, or just crumbs, or just playdough on
the carpet, etc.  It will clean up okay, now or in a while when you get to
it.  It's not the end of the world, and I wouldn't want a house where
children couldn't be children.  That doesn't mean I don't make my daughter
help me clean up; I do.  She knows how to use a Dust Buster or to soak up
spilled water with a towel.  The second thing I tell myself is that while
perhaps a sighted person could have prevented every spill, if he or she had
an eagle eye on the child at all times, it wouldn't be desirable.  My mom
was a clean freak who went ballistic if someone tracked in a leaf or got
fingerprints on the window near the doorknob.  She didn't allow playdough or
glue or any such messy things--it was kind of a bummer way to grow up.  Most
sighted parents aren't psychotic about neatness like my mom.  They get
distracted the same as we do.  They miss what their kids are doing; they
have to clean up messes.  Often, it's me who tells my daughter's sighted
dad, "Hey, watch it.  She's getting in your tool drawers again."  So the
problem isn't exclusive to you as a blind mom, or even caused by your
blindness.  It's a kid thing.

As for the world of visual media, I understand that, too.  Your daughter
will very soon get old enough to describe things to you.  My four-year-old
will now sometimes tell me some funny thing she saw on TV, or what the
dinosaur in the picture book is doing, and we'll have a good laugh over it. 
Last night, it started snowing here, and my daughter wanted me to go look
out the window with her and see the snow.  I told her I couldn't see it, and
she--logically--said that was because I wasn't by the window.  I reminded
her that my eyes didn't work.  I had her close her eyes and tell me what she
saw, which was nothing.  I said that was what I saw by the window, or turned
toward the TV, or anywhere else.  So she said, "Mommy, let's go touch the
snow then."  We had fun, just for a minute, going out and touching the
fluffy cold snow on the bush just off our porch.

So hang in there.  You might not always get to share every visual thing with
your daughter, but children are amazingly adaptable in finding ways to have
the experiences with you they want to have.  Blindness can be reduced, once
again, to the nuisance it truly is.

Keep your chin up,
Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message-----
From: Jennifer Bose
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2012 1:22 PM
To: blparent
Subject: [blparent] Please help me snap out of my pity-party

Hi, parents.

Overall, I tend to think of blindness as just inconvenient. But sometimes,
blindness and parenthood together get me started on thinking of blindness as
a real pain. I guess there are always issues that will present challenges
for anyone, and mine aren't all that big, I realize. But here they are:

My two daughters are three years old and six months old. While I'm paying
attention to my baby and I'm alone with both of them, I find it tough to
track what my three-year-old is doing. If I'm well-rested, this isn't such a
big deal. But if I'm tired, it's more than frustrating. She's very bright
and independent and often surprises me with all the things she can now do on
her own. But there are times when I'll discover that she's playing with
water or glue in a place where she shouldn't, and then I've thought to
myself: Well, if I'd seen her with that water glass, this never would have
happened!

And then, there's this whole world of visual media that I wish I could share
with her. All the picture books, DVDs, coloring books--I feel like they're
off limits to me and that I miss out on all the fun she has going through
them with other people. Not that she should necessarily learn everything
from me, but she and I don't get to engage each other through any of that.

Ugh! I'm making myself really depressed and a little nauseated here. I guess
this is when I should start being grateful for what I have.
Please, have any of you ever felt these frustrations? What do you say to
yourself, or what do you do, to get your positive attitude back?

Thanks for reading this rant. I know it will survive in cyberspace forever.
Oh, well ...

Good times. Starting to laugh already!
Jen

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com 


_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/ballstobooks%40gmail.c
om