[blparent] Please help me snap out of my pity-party

[Jeri Milton]

Hi Jen. I feel the same frustrations quite often actually. My son is seven
and my daughter is three. I find myself feeling sort of left out of the
things that excite them when they see it. I know I'm not really left out,
but I don't feel the thrill that they do and not just because I'm the adult.
I struggle with this a lot during the Christmas season. I decorate the house
so much that it drives my hubby crazy. I want the kids to see everything. On
one hand it feels like I'm missing it, but on the other hand it's a
wonderful feeling to experience it with them. Does this make sense at all?
We just did a Make A Wish trip for my daughter. We went to Disney World in
Florida. Talk about visual! Now there was a lot to be seen there. I asked my
husband if there were a lot of pretty trees and plants, because Florida is
very wet. He showed me the different leaves on some of the plants and low
hanging trees. I had a moment of who is me about that, but I had to let it
go. I was just so beside myself with happiness to be sharing the experience
with my little ones. On more than one occasion my little boy said to me
"mommy I sure do wish you could see this place." My response to him was to
tell him that I wish I could too, but I'm sure glad that his sister and him
could. I would ask them what they were looking at, and even the three year
old was happy to tell me. I love to hear the excitement in their voices. I
also enjoy setting with them and watching movies. Sometimes I may be bored
out of my mind, but I'm still sharing the time with them. Just the other day
we ate an entire bag of popcorn and watched Indian in the Cupboard. Action
movies really bore me, but Dylan loves to watch Transformers and army
movies. Kate loves Dora and Elmo. 
So you're not alone in these feelings Jen. I try most of the time to shake
it off, but there are times when it really gets to me. I really don't like
cleaning up Play Dough! But, I let them make the mess all the same. 
Other times I feel like I have a third eye that can see or eyes in the back
of my head. I'll hear things going on in the back of the house with the kids
while other people are zoned in on a television show. Sometimes I feel like
I'm a real strict mom with as much nagging as I do, but I do hear a lot more
than my husband or even my brother who lives with us can hear. There are
things that they notice that I don't such as dirty looks from the kids or
dropping toys in the hall when I've asked them to put them in their rooms.
Parenthood is a constant job no matter if you can see or not. It's a lot of
work, but I sure do love it. Hang in there Jen. 

Jeri

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer
Bose
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2012 12:23 PM
To: blparent
Subject: [blparent] Please help me snap out of my pity-party

Hi, parents.

Overall, I tend to think of blindness as just inconvenient. But sometimes,
blindness and parenthood together get me started on thinking of blindness as
a real pain. I guess there are always issues that will present challenges
for anyone, and mine aren't all that big, I realize. But here they are:

My two daughters are three years old and six months old. While I'm paying
attention to my baby and I'm alone with both of them, I find it tough to
track what my three-year-old is doing. If I'm well-rested, this isn't such a
big deal. But if I'm tired, it's more than frustrating. She's very bright
and independent and often surprises me with all the things she can now do on
her own. But there are times when I'll discover that she's playing with
water or glue in a place where she shouldn't, and then I've thought to
myself: Well, if I'd seen her with that water glass, this never would have
happened!

And then, there's this whole world of visual media that I wish I could share
with her. All the picture books, DVDs, coloring books--I feel like they're
off limits to me and that I miss out on all the fun she has going through
them with other people. Not that she should necessarily learn everything
from me, but she and I don't get to engage each other through any of that.

Ugh! I'm making myself really depressed and a little nauseated here. I guess
this is when I should start being grateful for what I have.
Please, have any of you ever felt these frustrations? What do you say to
yourself, or what do you do, to get your positive attitude back?

Thanks for reading this rant. I know it will survive in cyberspace forever.
Oh, well ...

Good times. Starting to laugh already!
Jen

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