[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

[Kate McEachern]

I think your making a bigger ishue then it is out of it personly.  It was 
cake, nothing more.  Yes Nanna was snippy and yes it would of pissed me off. 
But I just refuse to beleave it had anything to do with being blind.  But at 
the end of the day if you and Nanna are good then all is right with the 
world.

But I still don't think its a blindness ishue for real, I feel a bit sad 
that some beleave their always being wotched because their blind.  What if 
you thought of it differently, like, maybe they wotch you more because they 
can't even begin to know what it would be like to parent children when 
Blind?  I have had people wotch me and aproch me and tell me how they 
couldn't do the parenting thing if they couldn't see.  I am no super woman, 
just a parent so this is no pat on the back to me.  But I know where their 
comming from, its their problem not mine.

Katie
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 1:08 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?


> Bernadetta, thank you.  I think you summed up the problem really well. 
> It's not that I'm afraid of conflict at all, or afraid to tell people to 
> stay away from my daughter and me if I feel their relationship with us is 
> toxic. I've done it with my parents and siblings.  Until they can treat me 
> like a competent adult and a legitimate parent, they won't be involved in 
> my daughter's life.  And it looks like that stand may be permanent.  But I 
> don't want to show everybody the door if I don't have to, and frankly, if 
> I got rid of anyone at all who thought at any moment that my blindness 
> could ever get in the way of my mothering, my little girl and I would have 
> to move to a deserted island and live the rest of our lives in isolation 
> from the rest of the human race.  So I'm always trying to find that fine 
> line between standing my ground and insisting on respect, and yet not 
> coming off to Nanna and anyone nearby as a nut job or a raging jerk.  With 
> the incident over the lemon cake, I felt that Nanna overstepped her 
> bounds.  But I wondered if I'd been oversensitive about it, so I thought I 
> would ask some other blind parents.  I didn't really think I'd get it with 
> both barrels.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
> and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Bernadetta Pracon
> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:44 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>
> Well, Gabe, with respect, it's not always that simple. You tend to see
> things in black or white, figuratively speaking of course, but it's not
> always that simple. People already tend to have their ignorant
> misconceptions about blind people, even if they happen to have a blind
> person in their family. So if you cause a scene around a bunch of
> people who think they're right and your not not only will you be
> incompetent in their eyes, but also a crazy jerk. I stand my ground
> regarding my son, but there are limits. I don't want to come across as
> a rude, ass, or become a recluse. I want to be treated with respect
> just like anyone else. There are times when you can safely say "it's
> complicated" and no one knows the ins and outs of a given situation
> without being in it themselves.
> Once again, I see how my peers and relatives who have brand new babies
> are treated, even if they don't know the first thing about being a
> responsible parent. They can do goodness knows what with their babies,
> and everyone leaves them to it. When I attempt to parent my kid, all
> eyes are on me and everyone jumps in with overhelpful intentions.  I am
> a competent parent who doesn't let blindness become an obstacle in my
> parenting--other people make it an issue, and that's where I run into
> problems. So clearly, that is blindness related.
> Thanks
>
> Respectfully,
>
> Bernadetta
>
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