[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

I guess maybe I could have gone a step further and not let her have the cake 
at all, since I knew she was going to eat the frosting off and leave the 
rest.  She always does that.  Nanna did see her with the cake, but I reached 
out and took it, so I knew how much was left.  A triangle piece, maybe the 
size of my palm.  Hardly worth going to war over, I suppose, except that 
yesterday, Nanna swatted Sarah twice on the bottom and said, "Maybe your 
mommy lets you get away with temper tantrums, but Nanna won't."  I don't, in 
fact, let my daughter have temper tantrums.  But I find that when she starts 
screeching and waving her arms around, it usually means she's frustrated and 
can't find the words fast enough to say why.  So I'm willing to stop her and 
make her calm down and take a deep breath, then think about what she wants 
to say and get her point across.  That's why I asked the original question, 
wondering if maybe I overreacted.  It sounds like most of the consensus is 
that I did, which I appreciate hearing, in civil terms.  Nanna and I will 
get it figured out, but the bigger issue is that I have to stop her when she 
does take over sometimes.  She's told me in the past that it's okay for me 
to say she needs to back off a bit, but apparently when I did, it wasn't 
right.  It all gets very confusing.  Still, it's called having family type 
relationships, and it takes work.  I don't believe there are only two 
legitimate choices, either walk away or give in.  I do believe it's good for 
our children to see us resolve conflicts and go on loving those who are in 
our world.

Jo Elizabeth

I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
-----Original Message----- 
From: Musiclady
Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 12:25 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Personally, I would have gone with your nana.  Because she saw
the kid with the cake, so she should deal with it.  I think it's
important for our kids to receive correction for others not just
us.
Steph

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