[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Marla Wertman mwertman72 at gmail.com
Mon Sep 3 17:35:40 UTC 2012 

A piece of cake the size of the palm of your hand seems to me to be
plenty for a 4 year old. Maybe she should have been given 2 smaller
pieces so she could have some of both kinds of cake.
On Mon, 3 Sep 2012 10:31:44 -0600
"Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:

> I've gone hungry before.  I know what not wasting food is all about, believe 
> me.  I'm very good at making things last, putting together leftovers in 
> appetizing new ways, and pinching pennies till Abe Lincoln squawks for 
> mercy.  But since the grown-ups were having a smidge of each dessert, I 
> really thought it was okay for Sarah to do the same.  Nanna had only given 
> her a piece about as big as the palm of my hand.  Still, like I said, I 
> asked for opinions to see where I was at.  I'm glad you spoke up, Kate. 
> Maybe not wasting food was what Nanna's issue was.  In fact, I had been 
> about to eat that bit of frostingless cake, but one of the older ladies in 
> the church used to belong to Weight Watchers, and she knew I'd been trying 
> to lose weight.  So she said, "Which 'waste' do you want that cake to go to, 
> 'waste' or 'waist'?"  She's encouraged me to stop cleaning off Sarah's plate 
> as a way not to take in extra unwanted calories.
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
> died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Kate McEachern
> Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 8:05 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> 
> Just looking at this from Nanna's side maybe.  And who is going to eat the
> left over slice of cake that the child ate the icing off of?  No one can
> have that cake, and now the kid wants to eat the icing off another slice,
> why does she not eat the cake?  That is a waist of a slice of cake.
> 
> Just saying, Nanna may have ishue with the waisting of food and as some one
> who has had times in life where food was short, I get not wantingt to waist
> food.
> 
> Just my thoughts
> Katie
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com>
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 9:45 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> 
> 
> > Your rules, your kid.  If it was grandma's rules that her children finish 
> > their food on their plate before getting anything else that's fine but 
> > this is your daughter and the way you're raising her ... it's your kid, 
> > let her have the cake.  And yes I understand this being blindness related 
> > because sometimes people do interfere where they're not wanted because we 
> > are blind ... But she ate all her dinner, you said she could have another 
> > piece of cake, your decision to make, she's your daughter.
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message----- 
> > From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> > Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:14 PM
> > To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> > Subject: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> >
> > I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a way 
> > because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot instead of 
> > letting me be the mom.  She’s been there all of my daughter’s life, 
> > knitted her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the things a grandma loves 
> > to do.  I love her dearly.  But, frankly, she’s pushy.
> >
> > There was a situation that happened today while we were at her house for a 
> > barbecue.  A bunch of us from church had contributed food.My daughter had 
> > eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about her nutrition. 
> > When it came time for dessert, she chose to have a piece of carrot cake, 
> > which she promptly ate the frosting off of and then lost interest in.  Par 
> > for the course.  Then she asked Nanna for some lemon cake.  Lots of us 
> > were just having little smidges of each kind, so I was surprised when 
> > Nanna said no, there was still cake on her plate.  I could see it if she 
> > hadn’t eaten dinner first, but she had, so I thought that was ridiculous. 
> > Trying to keep the mood light, I reached over and took the cake off my 
> > daughter’s dish, then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your plate’s clean.”  Nanna 
> > still refused to give her the lemon cake.  My daughter started to pitch a 
> > fit in true four-year-old fashion, screeching and waving her arms around. 
> > Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs till she was ready to be fit 
> > company.  I said no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge here.  Nanna told 
> > me, raising her voice, that we were in her house, so her rules came first. 
> > I said I didn’t appreciate her yelling at me, and that if she wouldn’t 
> > serve my daughter a slice of lemon cake, I would do it myself.  I guess 
> > Nanna’s husband had gotten his fill by that time because he cut my 
> > daughter a slice of cake and gave it to her without saying anything.
> >
> > I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of my 
> > daughter, but it did.  I’m not looking for anybody to get on my case, but 
> > I’m interested in some answers from other blind parents.  Whose rules 
> > should have taken precedence?  Is there anything I can do about it now?
> >
> > Jo Elizabeth
> >
> > I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
> > brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
> > and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
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> 
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-- 
Marla Wertman <mwertman72 at gmail.com>

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