[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Mon Sep 3 18:12:55 UTC 2012

Maybe it was a little smaller, I can't really say.  The widest part was as 
wide as my palm, but it went to a triangular point.  In any case, yes, 
perhaps giving her two smaller pieces would have been best.

I called Nanna and apologized, not for my stand, but for the fact that it 
took place at her house, and worse yet, at her table in front of others. 
She said it was fine, she didn't bruise that easily.  She said she'd 
forgotten how much Sarah had eaten that day.  Which, I still believe, was my 
call, but for the sake of harmony, I set that aside for discussion another 
day.  I wasn't backing off from dealing with the issue, or too afraid to be 
confrontational, but sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.

Jo Elizabeth

I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
-----Original Message----- 
From: Marla Wertman
Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 11:35 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

A piece of cake the size of the palm of your hand seems to me to be
plenty for a 4 year old. Maybe she should have been given 2 smaller
pieces so she could have some of both kinds of cake.
On Mon, 3 Sep 2012 10:31:44 -0600
"Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:

> I've gone hungry before.  I know what not wasting food is all about, 
> believe
> me.  I'm very good at making things last, putting together leftovers in
> appetizing new ways, and pinching pennies till Abe Lincoln squawks for
> mercy.  But since the grown-ups were having a smidge of each dessert, I
> really thought it was okay for Sarah to do the same.  Nanna had only given
> her a piece about as big as the palm of my hand.  Still, like I said, I
> asked for opinions to see where I was at.  I'm glad you spoke up, Kate.
> Maybe not wasting food was what Nanna's issue was.  In fact, I had been
> about to eat that bit of frostingless cake, but one of the older ladies in
> the church used to belong to Weight Watchers, and she knew I'd been trying
> to lose weight.  So she said, "Which 'waste' do you want that cake to go 
> to,
> 'waste' or 'waist'?"  She's encouraged me to stop cleaning off Sarah's 
> plate
> as a way not to take in extra unwanted calories.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's
> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
> and
> died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Kate McEachern
> Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 8:05 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>
> Just looking at this from Nanna's side maybe.  And who is going to eat the
> left over slice of cake that the child ate the icing off of?  No one can
> have that cake, and now the kid wants to eat the icing off another slice,
> why does she not eat the cake?  That is a waist of a slice of cake.
>
> Just saying, Nanna may have ishue with the waisting of food and as some 
> one
> who has had times in life where food was short, I get not wantingt to 
> waist
> food.
>
> Just my thoughts
> Katie
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com>
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 9:45 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>
>
> > Your rules, your kid.  If it was grandma's rules that her children 
> > finish
> > their food on their plate before getting anything else that's fine but
> > this is your daughter and the way you're raising her ... it's your kid,
> > let her have the cake.  And yes I understand this being blindness 
> > related
> > because sometimes people do interfere where they're not wanted because 
> > we
> > are blind ... But she ate all her dinner, you said she could have 
> > another
> > piece of cake, your decision to make, she's your daughter.
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message----- 
> > From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> > Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:14 PM
> > To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> > Subject: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> >
> > I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a way
> > because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot instead of
> > letting me be the mom.  She’s been there all of my daughter’s life,
> > knitted her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the things a grandma 
> > loves
> > to do.  I love her dearly.  But, frankly, she’s pushy.
> >
> > There was a situation that happened today while we were at her house for 
> > a
> > barbecue.  A bunch of us from church had contributed food.My daughter 
> > had
> > eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about her nutrition.
> > When it came time for dessert, she chose to have a piece of carrot cake,
> > which she promptly ate the frosting off of and then lost interest in. 
> > Par
> > for the course.  Then she asked Nanna for some lemon cake.  Lots of us
> > were just having little smidges of each kind, so I was surprised when
> > Nanna said no, there was still cake on her plate.  I could see it if she
> > hadn’t eaten dinner first, but she had, so I thought that was 
> > ridiculous.
> > Trying to keep the mood light, I reached over and took the cake off my
> > daughter’s dish, then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your plate’s clean.” 
> > Nanna
> > still refused to give her the lemon cake.  My daughter started to pitch 
> > a
> > fit in true four-year-old fashion, screeching and waving her arms 
> > around.
> > Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs till she was ready to be fit
> > company.  I said no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge here.  Nanna 
> > told
> > me, raising her voice, that we were in her house, so her rules came 
> > first.
> > I said I didn’t appreciate her yelling at me, and that if she wouldn’t
> > serve my daughter a slice of lemon cake, I would do it myself.  I guess
> > Nanna’s husband had gotten his fill by that time because he cut my
> > daughter a slice of cake and gave it to her without saying anything.
> >
> > I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of my
> > daughter, but it did.  I’m not looking for anybody to get on my case, 
> > but
> > I’m interested in some answers from other blind parents.  Whose rules
> > should have taken precedence?  Is there anything I can do about it now?
> >
> > Jo Elizabeth
> >
> > I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of 
> > Einstein's
> > brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived
> > and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> > _______________________________________________
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>
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-- 
Marla Wertman <mwertman72 at gmail.com>

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