[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Mon Sep 3 23:57:30 UTC 2012

I'm in the same situation.  My son's dad doesn't live with us.  He only 
comes over on the wekends, sometimes.  Anywaywe don't live together because 
we can not get along and work as a team.  He likes to communicate in 
childish ways and I'm getting a little tired of it.

So, I figure I'm going to do what is right for my son and forget what he 
says or wants.

Kim
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Robert Shelton" <rshelton1 at gmail.com>
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 4:47 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

> My suggestion is that adults should not bother with advice or opinions 
> from adults who are acting like children.  Just for what it's worth...
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto [mailto:jopinto at msn.com]
> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:31 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>
> Now, stop!  I asked a question; I spoke to you respectfully and told you I 
> would consider your opinion.  There's no reason to call me names, or to 
> put down me or anybody else who uses this list.  That's uncalled for.  I 
> cower from nothing.  Please, just lay off.  You've said your peace, thank 
> you.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
> and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould -----Original 
> Message-----
> From: Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S
> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:11 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>
> grandmas house, grandmas rules. dont like it, dont go back. simple as 
> that.
> and its still off topic. and blindies only get mistreated if they allow 
> it.
> its funny how joe thinks she is a big barny tough girl on list, but in 
> real life, she just like the rest who use this act. and cowars from 
> confrontation because it on an email list and partially annonymous. :-)
>
> Gabe Vega
> Sent from my iPhone
> (623) 565-9357
>
> On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:55 PM, "Angie Matney" <angie.matney at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Actually, Gabe's text is at the bottom of the post. He said that
>> grandma's rules should apply.
>>
>> Sorry, no one but me gets to decide what my kid eats, unless I'm not
>> around and that person has responsibility for my child. It was very
>> disrespectful of this woman to try to interpose herself in the
>> parent-child relationship.
>>
>> And I do think this is blindness-related, because people tend to
>> infantilize blind adults. I wonder if this woman would have done the
>> same thing to a sighted parent.
>>
>> As for what you can do now, you could calmly explain to her that you
>> make the rules for Sarah, and if she can respect that, then her
>> informal grandmother-type relationship can continue.
>>
>> Best of luck.
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Kate McEachern"
>> <kflsouth at gmail.com>
>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:37 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>>
>>
>>> Gabe nothing is written here.
>>> Katie
>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S"
>>> <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:31 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Gabe Vega
>>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>> (623) 565-9357
>>>>
>>>> On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:14 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a
>>>>> way because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot
>>>>> instead of letting me be the mom.  She’s been there all of my
>>>>> daughter’s life, knitted her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the
>>>>> things a grandma loves to do.  I love her dearly.  But, frankly, she’s 
>>>>> pushy.
>>>>>
>>>>> There was a situation that happened today while we were at her
>>>>> house for a barbecue.  A bunch of us from church had contributed
>>>>> food.My daughter had eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t
>>>>> worried about her nutrition.  When it came time for dessert, she
>>>>> chose to have a piece of carrot cake, which she promptly ate the
>>>>> frosting off of and then lost interest in.  Par for the course.
>>>>> Then she asked Nanna for some lemon cake.  Lots of us were just
>>>>> having little smidges of each kind, so I was surprised when Nanna
>>>>> said no, there was still cake on her plate.  I could see it if she
>>>>> hadn’t eaten dinner first, but she had, so I thought that was
>>>>> ridiculous.  Trying to keep the mood light, I reached over and took
>>>>> the cake off my daughter’s dish, then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your
>>>>> plate’s clean.”  Nanna still refused to give her the lemon cake.
>>>>> My daughter started to pitch a fit in true four-year-old fashion,
>>>>> screeching and waving her arms around.  Nanna told her to go sit on 
>>>>> the stairs till she was ready to be fit company.
>>>>> I said no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge here.  Nanna told
>>>>> me, raising her voice, that we were in her house, so her rules came 
>>>>> first.
>>>>> I said I didn’t appreciate her yelling at me, and that if she
>>>>> wouldn’t serve my daughter a slice of lemon cake, I would do it
>>>>> myself.  I guess Nanna’s husband had gotten his fill by that time
>>>>> because he cut my daughter a slice of cake and gave it to her without 
>>>>> saying anything.
>>>>>
>>>>> I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of
>>>>> my daughter, but it did.  I’m not looking for anybody to get on my
>>>>> case, but I’m interested in some answers from other blind parents.
>>>>> Whose rules should have taken precedence?  Is there anything I can
>>>>> do about it now?
>>>>>
>>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>>>
>>>>> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of
>>>>> Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal
>>>>> talent have lived and died in cotton fields and
>>>>> sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blparent mailing list
>>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
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>>>>> for
>>>>> blparent:
>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/theblindtech%
>>>>> 40gmail.com Grandma's house, grandma's rules. Yes I know she's your
>>>>> daughter, and if this was another strangers house your rules would
>>>>> stand. But in a normal house, with a grandma parent relationship
>>>>> grandmas house trumps all. It is her house, her roles, sorry you
>>>>> feel that way. Now you may always choose never to return to
>>>>> grandmas house, if you don't like the way grandma runs her house.
>>>>> But again, that is up to you. But this situation is all about
>>>>> respect, her grandma issued her decree, and you chose to try and
>>>>> overcome per. This is very disrespectful no matter what culture
>>>>> you're in, this will not stand in my house, and my daughters
>>>>> grandma would always overcut me as a sign of respect. Right or
>>>>> wrong. So please, take it for what it is take your losses and make
>>>>> a decision, you either like the other situations you have been with
>>>>> grandma, and this is a small think you could get over. Or you could
>>>>> choose to not like it, her, or any future situation, and just never
>>>>> return to her house. Very simple, if you ask me.
>>>>
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>>>
>>>
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>>
>>
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