[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Fri Sep 7 21:39:06 UTC 2012

Gabe, there you go again being hateful.  Keep those unkind remarks to yourself and stick with the topic.  I, for one, do not think it is off topic as we are talking parenting here.  And if I recall correctly, we all are blind parents. Right?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S
Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:12 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

grandmas house, grandmas rules. dont like it, dont go back. simple as that. and its still off topic. and blindies only get mistreated if they allow it. its funny how joe thinks she is a big barny tough girl on list, but in real life, she just like the rest who use this act. and cowars from confrontation because it on an email list and partially annonymous. :-)

Gabe Vega
Sent from my iPhone
(623) 565-9357

On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:55 PM, "Angie Matney" <angie.matney at gmail.com> wrote:

> Actually, Gabe's text is at the bottom of the post. He said that grandma's rules should apply.
> 
> Sorry, no one but me gets to decide what my kid eats, unless I'm not around and that person has responsibility for my child. It was very disrespectful of this woman to try to interpose herself in the parent-child relationship.
> 
> And I do think this is blindness-related, because people tend to infantilize blind adults. I wonder if this woman would have done the same thing to a sighted parent.
> 
> As for what you can do now, you could calmly explain to her that you make the rules for Sarah, and if she can respect that, then her informal grandmother-type relationship can continue.
> 
> Best of luck.
> 
> 
> 
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Kate McEachern" 
> <kflsouth at gmail.com>
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:37 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> 
> 
>> Gabe nothing is written here.
>> Katie
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S" 
>> <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:31 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>> 
>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Gabe Vega
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>> (623) 565-9357
>>> 
>>> On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:14 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>>> 
>>>> I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a way because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot instead of letting me be the mom.  She’s been there all of my daughter’s life, knitted her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the things a grandma loves to do.  I love her dearly.  But, frankly, she’s pushy.
>>>> 
>>>> There was a situation that happened today while we were at her house for a barbecue.  A bunch of us from church had contributed food.My daughter had eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about her nutrition.  When it came time for dessert, she chose to have a piece of carrot cake, which she promptly ate the frosting off of and then lost interest in.  Par for the course.  Then she asked Nanna for some lemon cake.  Lots of us were just having little smidges of each kind, so I was surprised when Nanna said no, there was still cake on her plate.  I could see it if she hadn’t eaten dinner first, but she had, so I thought that was ridiculous.  Trying to keep the mood light, I reached over and took the cake off my daughter’s dish, then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your plate’s clean.”  Nanna still refused to give her the lemon cake.  My daughter started to pitch a fit in true four-year-old fashion, screeching and waving her arms around.  Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs till she was ready to be fit company.  I said no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge here.  Nanna told me, raising her voice, that we were in her house, so her rules came first.  I said I didn’t appreciate her yelling at me, and that if she wouldn’t serve my daughter a slice of lemon cake, I would do it myself.  I guess Nanna’s husband had gotten his fill by that time because he cut my daughter a slice of cake and gave it to her without saying anything.
>>>> 
>>>> I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of my daughter, but it did.  I’m not looking for anybody to get on my case, but I’m interested in some answers from other blind parents.  Whose rules should have taken precedence?  Is there anything I can do about it now?
>>>> 
>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>> 
>>>> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of 
>>>> Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal 
>>>> talent have lived and died in cotton fields and 
>>>> sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould 
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>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/theblindtech%40gmail.com Grandma's house, grandma's rules. Yes I know she's your daughter, and if this was another strangers house your rules would stand. But in a normal house, with a grandma parent relationship grandmas house trumps all. It is her house, her roles, sorry you feel that way. Now you may always choose never to return to grandmas house, if you don't like the way grandma runs her house. But again, that is up to you. But this situation is all about respect, her grandma issued her decree, and you chose to try and overcome per. This is very disrespectful no matter what culture you're in, this will not stand in my house, and my daughters grandma would always overcut me as a sign of respect. Right or wrong. So please, take it for what it is take your losses and make a decision, you either like the other situations you have been with grandma, and this is a small think you could get over. Or you could choose to not like it, her, or any future situation, and just never return to her house. Very simple, if you ask me.
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>> 
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