[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
Kate McEachern
kflsouth at gmail.com
Sat Sep 8 01:08:03 UTC 2012
My bad Dave, done for shore.
Truce.
Katie
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of David Andrews
Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 8:28 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
Veronica, et al,
Please drop this -- and no personal attacks. We
have asked everybody to move on -- each of you
don't need to comment on each and every message.
Dave
At 04:39 PM 9/7/2012, you wrote:
>Gabe, there you go again being hateful. Keep
>those unkind remarks to yourself and stick with
>the topic. I, for one, do not think it is off
>topic as we are talking parenting here. And if
>I recall correctly, we all are blind parents.
>Right? -----Original Message----- From:
>blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>[mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
>Of Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S Sent: Sunday,
>September 02, 2012 10:12 PM To: Blind Parents
>Mailing List Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
>Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take
>precedence? grandmas house, grandmas rules. dont
>like it, dont go back. simple as that. and its
>still off topic. and blindies only get
>mistreated if they allow it. its funny how joe
>thinks she is a big barny tough girl on list,
>but in real life, she just like the rest who use
>this act. and cowars from confrontation because
>it on an email list and partially annonymous.
>:-) Gabe Vega Sent from my iPhone (623) 565-9357
>On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:55 PM, "Angie Matney"
><angie.matney at gmail.com> wrote: > Actually,
>Gabe's text is at the bottom of the post. He
>said that grandma's rules should apply. > >
>Sorry, no one but me gets to decide what my kid
>eats, unless I'm not around and that person has
>responsibility for my child. It was very
>disrespectful of this woman to try to interpose
>herself in the parent-child relationship. > >
>And I do think this is blindness-related,
>because people tend to infantilize blind adults.
>I wonder if this woman would have done the same
>thing to a sighted parent. > > As for what you
>can do now, you could calmly explain to her that
>you make the rules for Sarah, and if she can
>respect that, then her informal grandmother-type
>relationship can continue. > > Best of
>luck. > > > > ----- Original Message ----- From:
>"Kate McEachern" > <kflsouth at gmail.com> > To:
>"Blind Parents Mailing List"
><blparent at nfbnet.org> > Sent: Sunday, September
>02, 2012 11:37 PM > Subject: Re: [blparent]
>Whose rules should take precedence? > > >> Gabe
>nothing is written here. >> Katie >> -----
>Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega Via
>Iphone4S" >> <theblindtech at gmail.com> >> To:
>"Blind Parents Mailing List"
><blparent at nfbnet.org> >> Cc: "NFBnet Blind
>Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org> >>
>Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:31 PM >>
>Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take
>precedence? >> >> >>> >>> >>> Gabe Vega >>> Sent
>from my iPhone >>> (623) 565-9357 >>> >>> On Sep
>2, 2012, at 8:14 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto"
><jopinto at msn.com> wrote: >>> >>>> I know this
>may not sound blindness related, but it kind of
>is in a way because my daughter’s adopted
>Nanna tends to take over a lot instead of
>letting me be the mom. She’s been there all
>of my daughter’s life, knitted her a blanket,
>kept her overnight, all the things a grandma
>loves to do. I love her dearly. But, frankly,
>she’s pushy. >>>> >>>> There was a situation
>that happened today while we were at her house
>for a barbecue. A bunch of us from church had
>contributed food.My daughter had eaten a fairly
>balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about her
>nutrition. When it came time for dessert, she
>chose to have a piece of carrot cake, which she
>promptly ate the frosting off of and then lost
>interest in. Par for the course. Then she
>asked Nanna for some lemon cake. Lots of us
>were just having little smidges of each kind, so
>I was surprised when Nanna said no, there was
>still cake on her plate. I could see it if she
>hadn’t eaten dinner first, but she had, so I
>thought that was ridiculous. Trying to keep the
>mood light, I reached over and took the cake off
>my daughter’s dish, then said, “Okay, tell
>Nanna your plate’s clean.†Nanna still
>refused to give her the lemon cake. My daughter
>started to pitch a fit in true four-year-old
>fashion, screeching and waving her arms
>around. Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs
>till she was ready to be fit company. I said
>no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge
>here. Nanna told me, raising her voice, that we
>were in her house, so her rules came first. I
>said I didn’t appreciate her yelling at me,
>and that if she wouldn’t serve my daughter a
>slice of lemon cake, I would do it myself. I
>guess Nanna’s husband had gotten his fill by
>that time because he cut my daughter a slice of
>cake and gave it to her without saying
>anything. >>>> >>>> I know that situation should
>ideally not have happened in front of my
>daughter, but it did. I’m not looking for
>anybody to get on my case, but I’m interested
>in some answers from other blind parents. Whose
>rules should have taken precedence? Is there
>anything I can do about it now? >>>> >>>> Jo
>Elizabeth >>>> >>>> I am somehow less interested
>in the weight and convolutions of >>>>
>Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that
>people of equal >>>> talent have lived and died
>in cotton fields and >>>> sweatshops.--Stephen
>Jay Gould >>>>
>_______________________________________________ >
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>blparent at nfbnet.org >>>>
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> >>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options
>or get your account info for blparent: >>>>
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>Grandma's house, grandma's rules. Yes I know
>she's your daughter, and if this was another
>strangers house your rules would stand. But in a
>normal house, with a grandma parent relationship
>grandmas house trumps all. It is her house, her
>roles, sorry you feel that way. Now you may
>always choose never to return to grandmas house,
>if you don't like the way grandma runs her
>house. But again, that is up to you. But this
>situation is all about respect, her grandma
>issued her decree, and you chose to try and
>overcome per. This is very disrespectful no
>matter what culture you're in, this will not
>stand in my house, and my daughters grandma
>would always overcut me as a sign of respect.
>Right or wrong. So please, take it for what it
>is take your losses and make a decision, you
>either like the other situations you have been
>with grandma, and this is a small think you
>could get over. Or you could choose to not like
>it, her, or any future situation, and just never
>return to her house. Very simple, if you ask me. >>> >>>
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