[blparent] Parent introduction- expecting

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

I'm trying to stay involved in listserves, but so busy since Declan
still in NICU, but he's doing so well. We're actually at the home
stretch and just working on nippling. Hopefully he picks this up sooner
rather than later, but the nurses say this is the most frustrating part
of stay and what usually keeps you in NICU, sigh.

So anyway, thought I'd share our experience with medical pros. Was a
little nervous and uptight going into situation having heard so many
horror stories about nurses questioning a blind persons ability and
social workers getting involved. During pregnancy, a social worker
showed up during an appt, and my heart stopped, but as it turns out, it
was a routine convo the hospital social workers do just making sure all
parents have available info about anything they might need. Still, when
I heard social worker, mama bears claws were ready to come out, grin.

We have had, thus far, a rather pleasant experience since Declan was
born. It may have helped that I had four prior hospitalizations during
pregnancy where I was on the labor and delivery floor, so nurses had a
lot of opportunity to get to know Ross and I. And the NICU staff saw us
coming and going while I was still in hospital and now as we continue to
be up there at least once a day, they see us in action.

We always participate in the cares when there, and we handle all things
like diaper changing, feeding, bathing and the like when up there. We
rarely call a nurse in unless we have too. So the staff gets to see that
we can in deed handle all this on our own. Plus, we want to adjust to
the routine as well so when he comes home, it isn't a huge shock to our
systems, ha-ha.

I do feel it's okay to let Ross handle a lot since once we get home I
will be the one taking care of Declan all day, and Ross is great about
it. I don't have to ask him, and he wants to be super involved. Ross
being a partial (I really hate that term) though, I sometimes wonder if
people think Ross is better off or why I can do these things because
despite the fact that he uses tools like a cane, it's usually perceived
that Ross has some sight so therefore he's better off and/or using what
vision he has. Nonetheless, I have yet to have anyone question me or
outright think I can't do something.

We also have had the hospital approach us about getting info in
accessible formats. When in the NICU, they give parents a lot of
educational material. They have been great about working with us and
trying to get material into electronic formats whenever possible.

After a couple of nurses freaked a little bit about us using a finger to
check the inside of a diaper (of course we washed too, smile) we spoke
with the charge nurse about how there are certain things we may do a
little differently when it comes to blindness. She was awesome and
totally understood. They have been pretty good about letting us lead the
way on how to do things nonvisually. Of course it helps that we have
been through all this with Penny, grin.

I still have those worries in the back of my mind, but in general, our
hospital experience has been positive. And I know we just have to live
our lives and do things the way we see best and not think about what
others might be thinking. 

Now our neighbors, that's another story. An older neighbor, who has
never once introduced herself to us, spoke with my grandparents one day
while they waited to pick Ross and I up. She told them how concerned she
was that two blind people were having a baby, and having seen us with
Penny, questioned the safety of children in our care even though nothing
has ever happened. When my grandparents, being grandparents, bragged
about us telling her how we live on our own, graduated from university,
are employed, etc. she said, and I quote, I didn't realize they would be
intelligent enough to do all that. She lives across the street, and
friends and family have observed her blatantly observing us. So this
worries me, but for now, I'm just focused on bringing Declan home and
finally starting our lives as a family.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 1
Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2012 18:01:41 +0000
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction,  expecting
Message-ID: <AAE38548E198F64B8E345439B68CCC78330BEACC at TSEAMB02>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

        I agree with you on the resting Jennifer.
My attitude was "If I have to do all this work, why not send me home
where I have what I need and want". It made no sense to me.