[blparent] Parent introduction- expecting

Tue Sep 18 22:13:43 UTC 2012

Congratulations on all the great things going on in your life.  As for that
neighbor, it just sounds like fixable ignorance there.  She probably grew-up
in a different time and just has certain beliefs.  In those situations I do
all I can to invite those type of folks into my life to demystify their
concerns and-or answer their questions.  Most people like your neighbor are
what I like to call, "ignorantly amazed".  Unless they're down-right mean
you can have her over for coffee and just let her get the questions out of
her system.  Hopefully, then her guard will go down and she'll get to know
you for you and not just for an entity of who you are.

Have a blast with that little bundle.  It goes so quickly.

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Tuesday, September 18, 2012 1:20 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Parent introduction- expecting

I'm trying to stay involved in listserves, but so busy since Declan still in
NICU, but he's doing so well. We're actually at the home stretch and just
working on nippling. Hopefully he picks this up sooner rather than later,
but the nurses say this is the most frustrating part of stay and what
usually keeps you in NICU, sigh.

So anyway, thought I'd share our experience with medical pros. Was a little
nervous and uptight going into situation having heard so many horror stories
about nurses questioning a blind persons ability and social workers getting
involved. During pregnancy, a social worker showed up during an appt, and my
heart stopped, but as it turns out, it was a routine convo the hospital
social workers do just making sure all parents have available info about
anything they might need. Still, when I heard social worker, mama bears
claws were ready to come out, grin.

We have had, thus far, a rather pleasant experience since Declan was born.
It may have helped that I had four prior hospitalizations during pregnancy
where I was on the labor and delivery floor, so nurses had a lot of
opportunity to get to know Ross and I. And the NICU staff saw us coming and
going while I was still in hospital and now as we continue to be up there at
least once a day, they see us in action.

We always participate in the cares when there, and we handle all things like
diaper changing, feeding, bathing and the like when up there. We rarely call
a nurse in unless we have too. So the staff gets to see that we can in deed
handle all this on our own. Plus, we want to adjust to the routine as well
so when he comes home, it isn't a huge shock to our systems, ha-ha.

I do feel it's okay to let Ross handle a lot since once we get home I will
be the one taking care of Declan all day, and Ross is great about it. I
don't have to ask him, and he wants to be super involved. Ross being a
partial (I really hate that term) though, I sometimes wonder if people think
Ross is better off or why I can do these things because despite the fact
that he uses tools like a cane, it's usually perceived that Ross has some
sight so therefore he's better off and/or using what vision he has.
Nonetheless, I have yet to have anyone question me or outright think I can't
do something.

We also have had the hospital approach us about getting info in accessible
formats. When in the NICU, they give parents a lot of educational material.
They have been great about working with us and trying to get material into
electronic formats whenever possible.

After a couple of nurses freaked a little bit about us using a finger to
check the inside of a diaper (of course we washed too, smile) we spoke with
the charge nurse about how there are certain things we may do a little
differently when it comes to blindness. She was awesome and totally
understood. They have been pretty good about letting us lead the way on how
to do things nonvisually. Of course it helps that we have been through all
this with Penny, grin.

I still have those worries in the back of my mind, but in general, our
hospital experience has been positive. And I know we just have to live our
lives and do things the way we see best and not think about what others
might be thinking. 

Now our neighbors, that's another story. An older neighbor, who has never
once introduced herself to us, spoke with my grandparents one day while they
waited to pick Ross and I up. She told them how concerned she was that two
blind people were having a baby, and having seen us with Penny, questioned
the safety of children in our care even though nothing has ever happened.
When my grandparents, being grandparents, bragged about us telling her how
we live on our own, graduated from university, are employed, etc. she said,
and I quote, I didn't realize they would be intelligent enough to do all
that. She lives across the street, and friends and family have observed her
blatantly observing us. So this worries me, but for now, I'm just focused on
bringing Declan home and finally starting our lives as a family.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/

"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 1
Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2012 18:01:41 +0000
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction,  expecting
Message-ID: <AAE38548E198F64B8E345439B68CCC78330BEACC at TSEAMB02>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

        I agree with you on the resting Jennifer.
My attitude was "If I have to do all this work, why not send me home where I
have what I need and want". It made no sense to me.

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