[blparent] Being a Good Mom (was Writers)

[Erin Rumer]

Beautifully stated Jo Elizabeth.

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Sunday, September 23, 2012 11:24 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Being a Good Mom (was Writers)

Bridgit, you'll be a great mommy.  The thing is, our less than stellar
childhoods give us vivid examples of what not to do.  We learn to be
available emotionally to our kids if no one was there for us when we were
young.  We learn that  sticks and stones may break our bones, but ill-chosen
words can break our hearts, which never fully heal.  We learn that it's nore
important to be proud of our kids when they accomplish something small than
it is to always demand something bigger.  And best of all, we do the fun
things we might have missed out on as kids--bubbles, sprinklers, snow
angels, stickers, sandboxes, those are the gifts our children give to us.

My mom literally kept a spotless home.  Too spotless for the clay sets I was
given one Christmas.  She gave the clay sets away unopened; there would be
no such mess in her house.  But doing playdough with my daughter has its
perks; I get to experience something I missed out on in my childhood home. 
Last summer, I laid down on the sidewalk and let the kids trace me with
chalk.  A friend who came over said later, "Wow!  My mom never would have
done that."  I told her mine wouldn't have, either, but that's why I did it.

My daughter is going to have different memories of her mother than I did of
mine.  She gets to help me put away groceries, even if I could do it twice
as fast myself.  Sometimes she gets an extra bedtime story because, what the
heck, Curious George is awesome.  Sometimes we pack a picnic lunch and sit
out on the grass in front of the house, even though lunch would be finished
more quickly and easily if I insisted that we eat at the kitchen table.  And
once in a while, if nobody but my daughter is around to see me, I'll start
singing and jamming along with the Aristocats theme song, simply because
it's fun.

I'll get off my soapbox, but I guess the one thing I would tell all new
parents if I could is not to worry too much about developmental milestones
like I did at first; think about making memories.  Soak up the joy kids see
in the world, and by all means, don't forget to have a good time.  I know
it's terribly hard right now because your baby is in the NICU and that
wasn't the way everything was supposed to work out.  But the hospital stay
will be nothing more than a very brief chapter in his little life.  Soon
he'll be home, staring at Christmas lights if you put up a tree, giggling
when you make silly faces at him, snuggling close to you and showing you the
meaning of unconditional love as he learns it from you, too.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message-----
From: Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Sunday, September 23, 2012 11:08 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Writers

I, too, had a less than stellar childhood. I have found writing to be
cathartic just as I did as a child. I don't like to talk about it, but I
worried about my ability to parent since I didn't have great examples
growing up, but so far, I have taken naturally to being a mommy. It helps
that I have an amazing, supportive husband who loves me very much. 


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