[blparent] Being a Good Mom (was Writers)

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Bridgit, you'll be a great mommy.  The thing is, our less than stellar 
childhoods give us vivid examples of what not to do.  We learn to be 
available emotionally to our kids if no one was there for us when we were 
young.  We learn that  sticks and stones may break our bones, but ill-chosen 
words can break our hearts, which never fully heal.  We learn that it's nore 
important to be proud of our kids when they accomplish something small than 
it is to always demand something bigger.  And best of all, we do the fun 
things we might have missed out on as kids--bubbles, sprinklers, snow 
angels, stickers, sandboxes, those are the gifts our children give to us.

My mom literally kept a spotless home.  Too spotless for the clay sets I was 
given one Christmas.  She gave the clay sets away unopened; there would be 
no such mess in her house.  But doing playdough with my daughter has its 
perks; I get to experience something I missed out on in my childhood home. 
Last summer, I laid down on the sidewalk and let the kids trace me with 
chalk.  A friend who came over said later, "Wow!  My mom never would have 
done that."  I told her mine wouldn't have, either, but that's why I did it. 
My daughter is going to have different memories of her mother than I did of 
mine.  She gets to help me put away groceries, even if I could do it twice 
as fast myself.  Sometimes she gets an extra bedtime story because, what the 
heck, Curious George is awesome.  Sometimes we pack a picnic lunch and sit 
out on the grass in front of the house, even though lunch would be finished 
more quickly and easily if I insisted that we eat at the kitchen table.  And 
once in a while, if nobody but my daughter is around to see me, I'll start 
singing and jamming along with the Aristocats theme song, simply because 
it's fun.

I'll get off my soapbox, but I guess the one thing I would tell all new 
parents if I could is not to worry too much about developmental milestones 
like I did at first; think about making memories.  Soak up the joy kids see 
in the world, and by all means, don't forget to have a good time.  I know 
it's terribly hard right now because your baby is in the NICU and that 
wasn't the way everything was supposed to work out.  But the hospital stay 
will be nothing more than a very brief chapter in his little life.  Soon 
he'll be home, staring at Christmas lights if you put up a tree, giggling 
when you make silly faces at him, snuggling close to you and showing you the 
meaning of unconditional love as he learns it from you, too.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Sunday, September 23, 2012 11:08 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Writers

I, too, had a less than stellar childhood. I have found writing to be
cathartic just as I did as a child. I don't like to talk about it, but I
worried about my ability to parent since I didn't have great examples
growing up, but so far, I have taken naturally to being a mommy. It
helps that I have an amazing, supportive husband who loves me very much.