[blparent] "Just trust me"

[JA]

May be it would also be helpful to let him know that you trust him, it
is just that you are trying to make the situation better, safer,  and
easier for everyone. Also let him know that what he is saying might be
right in the absolute value but he cannot interpret your situation at
the moment hence, explaining things to you in a bit more detail will
help you more.


On 4/16/13, Star Gazer <pickrellrebecca at gmail.com> wrote:
> I don't think your husband is being lazy. I just don't think he "gets" it.
>
> For all you knew, he could have been handing you a cup or a plate of food.
> The way you handle a cup, a hot pad, or a plate of food are all different.
> You even handle an empty plate differently then you handle a full plate. If
> he's a high tech kind of guy, he may understand, especially if you explain
> it in terms of teaching a robot how to handle an object. The way you hold
> the object, the way you balance it, and the way you place it are totally
> different from each other.
> Tell him "I can't see what you are handing me" and explain what you need
> from him "Jill, I'm handing you a full plate" is useful.
>
> My response to a guy that says "trust me" is to say "My dad always told me
> to never trust a guy that says "trust me".
> I wouldn't attribute this to laziness. I'm curious why you do? His approach
> is like most people's who just haven't thought that just because they know
> what they need, doesn't mean anybody else does.
> Explain to him that "just trust me" is a useless data set. It gives you no
> information as to the physical task he needs you to accomplish.
> Unless there is more going on here, view yourselves as two systems that
> need
> to talk to each other and you are developing a common language with which
> to
> do that. Think of it like a computer or a child (both are incredibly alike)
> and you are developing a language which all will use to complete a needed
> task.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Joanne
> Zucker
> Sent: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 10:02 AM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] "Just trust me"
>
> The following is a little story about my husband, more than our
> children....but, one of our children was present and the others also
> observe
> how I function and "survive" in a sighted world....
>
> My husband, whom I love very much, has a famous line that he says....."just
> trust me". I really don't mind that he says this.  However, (I bet I know
> that you knew that this was coming...)
>
> However, as my vision has deteriorated some over the last 10+ years, "just
> trust me" doesn't cut it when it comes to safety issues....a little
> communication would be best, especially when there is a potential for
> danger
> and there is time to say something/be a little more descriptive. I think he
> is just being lazy.
>
> Here was the situation... My 12 year old son was taking dinner out of the
> oven, that he had made, and my husband was handing me a hot pad for the
> table.  I couldn't see what he was holding and he was not forth coming with
> details as to what was transpiring, as I did not have any clues as to what
> he was getting at.  I asked what he wanted and he said, "Here, take this."
> I
> asked him what he needed. His reply, "Just trust me."  I was approaching
> him
> to find out...I still was unable to see what he wanted until he was getting
> short with me and I was finally able to see what my son was doing.
>
> I explained to him that all he needed to say was, "Put the hot pad on the
> table."  I tried to explained how my vision impairs my ability to pick up
> on
> the visual clues of what is going on.  He still replied with, Just trust
> me."  He just did not understand my point of view.
>
> I left furious and offended that he didn't get it.  His little quote is
> just
> not acceptable at times.....I can understand when it is a serious
> safety....life/death concern....not when there was time to say 4 more words
> than his blanket statement.
>
> Anyways, just a little bit about me.....I was born legally blind due to
> congenital rubella, with a visually acuity fluctuating between
> 20/200-20/800.  And, now my visual acuity ranges between 20/2000
> and20/2400.
> I don't quite understand the significance/severity of the change because it
> was so gradual....but I do notice the difference when viewing things close
> up....It is definitely worse.....maybe the example above is showing me how
> my distance is getting worse....and how I need to share/explain this to my
> husband.
>
> I am open to suggestions....
>
> Thank you.
>
> Joanne
>
> Sent from my iPad
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-- 
Thank you
JA
“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think
they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you
believe, remember,
you can achieve.” by Mary Kay Ash