[blparent] "Just trust me"

[Star Gazer]

I don't think your husband is being lazy. I just don't think he "gets" it.  
For all you knew, he could have been handing you a cup or a plate of food. 
The way you handle a cup, a hot pad, or a plate of food are all different.
You even handle an empty plate differently then you handle a full plate. If
he's a high tech kind of guy, he may understand, especially if you explain
it in terms of teaching a robot how to handle an object. The way you hold
the object, the way you balance it, and the way you place it are totally
different from each other.  
Tell him "I can't see what you are handing me" and explain what you need
from him "Jill, I'm handing you a full plate" is useful. 

My response to a guy that says "trust me" is to say "My dad always told me
to never trust a guy that says "trust me". 
I wouldn't attribute this to laziness. I'm curious why you do? His approach
is like most people's who just haven't thought that just because they know
what they need, doesn't mean anybody else does. 
Explain to him that "just trust me" is a useless data set. It gives you no
information as to the physical task he needs you to accomplish.
Unless there is more going on here, view yourselves as two systems that need
to talk to each other and you are developing a common language with which to
do that. Think of it like a computer or a child (both are incredibly alike)
and you are developing a language which all will use to complete a needed
task. 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Joanne
Zucker
Sent: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 10:02 AM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] "Just trust me"

The following is a little story about my husband, more than our
children....but, one of our children was present and the others also observe
how I function and "survive" in a sighted world....  

My husband, whom I love very much, has a famous line that he says....."just
trust me". I really don't mind that he says this.  However, (I bet I know
that you knew that this was coming...)
 
However, as my vision has deteriorated some over the last 10+ years, "just
trust me" doesn't cut it when it comes to safety issues....a little
communication would be best, especially when there is a potential for danger
and there is time to say something/be a little more descriptive. I think he
is just being lazy.  

Here was the situation... My 12 year old son was taking dinner out of the
oven, that he had made, and my husband was handing me a hot pad for the
table.  I couldn't see what he was holding and he was not forth coming with
details as to what was transpiring, as I did not have any clues as to what
he was getting at.  I asked what he wanted and he said, "Here, take this." I
asked him what he needed. His reply, "Just trust me."  I was approaching him
to find out...I still was unable to see what he wanted until he was getting
short with me and I was finally able to see what my son was doing.  

I explained to him that all he needed to say was, "Put the hot pad on the
table."  I tried to explained how my vision impairs my ability to pick up on
the visual clues of what is going on.  He still replied with, Just trust
me."  He just did not understand my point of view.

I left furious and offended that he didn't get it.  His little quote is just
not acceptable at times.....I can understand when it is a serious
safety....life/death concern....not when there was time to say 4 more words
than his blanket statement.

Anyways, just a little bit about me.....I was born legally blind due to
congenital rubella, with a visually acuity fluctuating between
20/200-20/800.  And, now my visual acuity ranges between 20/2000 and20/2400.
I don't quite understand the significance/severity of the change because it
was so gradual....but I do notice the difference when viewing things close
up....It is definitely worse.....maybe the example above is showing me how
my distance is getting worse....and how I need to share/explain this to my
husband.

I am open to suggestions....

Thank you.

Joanne

Sent from my iPad
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