[blparent] Just trust me

[JA]

I completely agree with Bridgit. They need to understand your
situation since they are not in your shoes. If you don't explain it to
them, they will never know. That said, there is no guarantee that they
will understand with one round of explanation but eventually they
might.

On 4/16/13, Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com> wrote:
> Joanne,
>
> I agree that communication is key. In any relationship, with any topic,
> communication is vital. You nee to sit down and really explain in detail
> the issue noting your observations, concerns and stressing why this is
> so important. It actually should probably be a family discussion since
> it sounds like you have older children. The entire family needs to be
> aware of this issue and how best to communicate with you and to share
> information with you.
>
> FYI, both my husband and I are blind. I only have light perception, and
> he has some useable vision. We both use to be fully-sighted, so we are
> use to nonverbal communication. Even though we both can become
> flabergasted and frustrated when people don't verbally communicate with
> us, we will still use nonverbal means of communication with one another,
> smile. I will hold items out in front of him to grab and get irritated
> when he doesn't grab them, then it's like, oh, right, you can't see. Or
> he will tell me right there, and when I ask what right there means, he
> will have a moment of confusion then realizes he needs to be more
> specific.
>
> I'm not sure how this might play out with couples who have always been
> blind, or where one partner has always been blind with little to no
> vision, and maybe my husband and I are unique, but sometimes we all
> miscomunicate.
>
> Nonetheless, your family needs to understand that, while mom can still
> do things, they need to adjust to communicating with a blind person,
> meaning verbal communication that involves specifics, I. E., I'm handing
> you a hot pad while our son takes a dish out of the oven.
>
> Bridgit
> Message: 3
> Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:02:11 -0400
> From: Joanne Zucker <jezu36 at yahoo.com>
> To: "blparent at nfbnet.org" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [blparent] "Just trust me"
> Message-ID: <0F0D7900-0445-4810-9E73-FF517E2A7B65 at yahoo.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain;	charset=us-ascii
>
> The following is a little story about my husband, more than our
> children....but, one of our children was present and the others also
> observe how I function and "survive" in a sighted world....
>
> My husband, whom I love very much, has a famous line that he
> says....."just trust me". I really don't mind that he says this.
> However, (I bet I know that you knew that this was coming...)
>
> However, as my vision has deteriorated some over the last 10+ years,
> "just trust me" doesn't cut it when it comes to safety issues....a
> little communication would be best, especially when there is a potential
> for danger and there is time to say something/be a little more
> descriptive. I think he is just being lazy.
>
> Here was the situation... My 12 year old son was taking dinner out of
> the oven, that he had made, and my husband was handing me a hot pad for
> the table.  I couldn't see what he was holding and he was not forth
> coming with details as to what was transpiring, as I did not have any
> clues as to what he was getting at.  I asked what he wanted and he said,
> "Here, take this." I asked him what he needed. His reply, "Just trust
> me."  I was approaching him to find out...I still was unable to see what
> he wanted until he was getting short with me and I was finally able to
> see what my son was doing.
>
> I explained to him that all he needed to say was, "Put the hot pad on
> the table."  I tried to explained how my vision impairs my ability to
> pick up on the visual clues of what is going on.  He still replied with,
> Just trust me."  He just did not understand my point of view.
>
> I left furious and offended that he didn't get it.  His little quote is
> just not acceptable at times.....I can understand when it is a serious
> safety....life/death concern....not when there was time to say 4 more
> words than his blanket statement.
>
> Anyways, just a little bit about me.....I was born legally blind due to
> congenital rubella, with a visually acuity fluctuating between
> 20/200-20/800.  And, now my visual acuity ranges between 20/2000
> and20/2400.  I don't quite understand the significance/severity of the
> change because it was so gradual....but I do notice the difference when
> viewing things close up....It is definitely worse.....maybe the example
> above is showing me how my distance is getting worse....and how I need
> to share/explain this to my husband.
>
> I am open to suggestions....
>
> Thank you.
>
> Joanne
>
>
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-- 
Thank you
JA
“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think
they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you
believe, remember,
you can achieve.” by Mary Kay Ash