[blparent] Just trust me

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Joanne,

I agree that communication is key. In any relationship, with any topic,
communication is vital. You nee to sit down and really explain in detail
the issue noting your observations, concerns and stressing why this is
so important. It actually should probably be a family discussion since
it sounds like you have older children. The entire family needs to be
aware of this issue and how best to communicate with you and to share
information with you.

FYI, both my husband and I are blind. I only have light perception, and
he has some useable vision. We both use to be fully-sighted, so we are
use to nonverbal communication. Even though we both can become
flabergasted and frustrated when people don't verbally communicate with
us, we will still use nonverbal means of communication with one another,
smile. I will hold items out in front of him to grab and get irritated
when he doesn't grab them, then it's like, oh, right, you can't see. Or
he will tell me right there, and when I ask what right there means, he
will have a moment of confusion then realizes he needs to be more
specific.

I'm not sure how this might play out with couples who have always been
blind, or where one partner has always been blind with little to no
vision, and maybe my husband and I are unique, but sometimes we all
miscomunicate.

Nonetheless, your family needs to understand that, while mom can still
do things, they need to adjust to communicating with a blind person,
meaning verbal communication that involves specifics, I. E., I'm handing
you a hot pad while our son takes a dish out of the oven.

Bridgit
Message: 3
Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:02:11 -0400
From: Joanne Zucker <jezu36 at yahoo.com>
To: "blparent at nfbnet.org" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] "Just trust me"
Message-ID: <0F0D7900-0445-4810-9E73-FF517E2A7B65 at yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset=us-ascii

The following is a little story about my husband, more than our
children....but, one of our children was present and the others also
observe how I function and "survive" in a sighted world....  

My husband, whom I love very much, has a famous line that he
says....."just trust me". I really don't mind that he says this.
However, (I bet I know that you knew that this was coming...)
 
However, as my vision has deteriorated some over the last 10+ years,
"just trust me" doesn't cut it when it comes to safety issues....a
little communication would be best, especially when there is a potential
for danger and there is time to say something/be a little more
descriptive. I think he is just being lazy.  

Here was the situation... My 12 year old son was taking dinner out of
the oven, that he had made, and my husband was handing me a hot pad for
the table.  I couldn't see what he was holding and he was not forth
coming with details as to what was transpiring, as I did not have any
clues as to what he was getting at.  I asked what he wanted and he said,
"Here, take this." I asked him what he needed. His reply, "Just trust
me."  I was approaching him to find out...I still was unable to see what
he wanted until he was getting short with me and I was finally able to
see what my son was doing.  

I explained to him that all he needed to say was, "Put the hot pad on
the table."  I tried to explained how my vision impairs my ability to
pick up on the visual clues of what is going on.  He still replied with,
Just trust me."  He just did not understand my point of view.

I left furious and offended that he didn't get it.  His little quote is
just not acceptable at times.....I can understand when it is a serious
safety....life/death concern....not when there was time to say 4 more
words than his blanket statement.

Anyways, just a little bit about me.....I was born legally blind due to
congenital rubella, with a visually acuity fluctuating between
20/200-20/800.  And, now my visual acuity ranges between 20/2000
and20/2400.  I don't quite understand the significance/severity of the
change because it was so gradual....but I do notice the difference when
viewing things close up....It is definitely worse.....maybe the example
above is showing me how my distance is getting worse....and how I need
to share/explain this to my husband.

I am open to suggestions....

Thank you.

Joanne