[blparent] Please, Please Read: Parenting Questions the Court Will Want Me ToAnswer:Any Advice?

Fri Apr 19 23:31:49 UTC 2013

Thanks, Jo Elizabeth. I'm looking at this now.

Si

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, April 19, 2013 7:22 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Please,Please Read: Parenting Questions the Court 
Will Want Me ToAnswer:Any Advice?

> I'll answer the individual questions when I have more time, but you might 
> want to look up an organization called Through the Looking Glass.  The Web 
> site is www.lookingglass.org.  The organization has extensive experience 
> helping parents with disabilities in legal cases.  Rather than 
> re-inventing the wheel, why not start with some of the resources they've 
> developed, along with the NFB booklet Parenting Without Site, available 
> for free on the NFB Web site?
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Si
> Sent: Friday, April 19, 2013 4:27 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] Please,Please Read: Parenting Questions the Court Will 
> Want Me To Answer:Any Advice?
>
> Hey everyone, it's Si. I've been on digest mode for awhile now and have 
> been pretty out of the loop. So if any of the following questions have 
> already been answered, please, please bear with me.
>
> A Little About My Situation:
>
> As some of you may remember, I had a little girl in December. Ayla Rose. 
> (Side Note: Breast feeding was finally worked out and we're seasoned pros 
> at it now.)
>
> Anyway, I'll cut to the chase. Her father is fighting me for primary 
> custody. We were never married or anything like that, so that particular 
> stresser isn't a factor. He lives out of state, which is why shared 
> custody won't work.
>
> He's basing my quote-unquote "incompetence" largely on the fact that I am 
> blind.
>
> This leads me to the following questions. I have ideas for answers, but 
> I'd like all the advice and suggestions you all can give me from your 
> personal experience. My lawyer wants me to gather all the ammo I can with 
> these questions, not because I'm incompetent. I have professionals working 
> with me who can vouch for that. But because I want to have all these 
> answers ready when the "How will you do this?" questions come flying at me 
> in the upcoming depositions. Which are the 29th, so any advice before then 
> will be really, really, really appreciated.
>
> Questions:
>
> I'll put down the question, then I'll put down my own answers so you guys 
> know what I'm thinking. Please feel free to add to my answers with any and 
> all advice.
>
> Please forgive me if these come off as biased. I'm blind too, so I mean no 
> insult. I know our safety precautions are much the same as those of 
> sighted parents, but let's face it, some things are different and those 
> are the things I need to focus on.
>
> Q: What were some of the blindness-related safety precautions you took 
> when your little one began to crawl / walk?
>
> A: When Ayla begins to be mobile, I plan on attaching bells to her shoes 
> and clothing. I also plan on attaching a child locater to her so that if I 
> don't hear her moving, I can hit a button and locate her.
>
> I have also started to baby proof my home like any other sighted parent.
>
> I don't keep dangerous objects on a level which she can get to.
>
> I don't have a lot of extra items such as knick-knacks, lamps, end tables, 
> etc that she can grab hold of and pull down on herself.
>
> I search the floor on my hands and knees for any small objects that may 
> have fallen and that could provide a choking hazard.
>
> Q: How did you teach your child his or her colors?
> This is another reason he's claiming I'm unfit. He claims I won't be able 
> to teach Ayla her colors.
>
> A: Seedlings provides many print-braille books that have both a picture of 
> a specific color or object that bears the color and the braille captioning 
> so that I will know what object and color is being shown. I can teach Ayla 
> her colors with the following:
> Seedlings color books
> Real life objects such as a red tomato, yellow banana, orange carrot or 
> green apple.
>
> I can purchase toys such as plastic fruit, plastic blocks, etc and label 
> the different colors in braille.
>
> I can create a fabric color book that will not only teach her texture, but 
> colors as well. This book can also be labeled in braille.
>
> How did you teach your child that pointing at objects and saying "What's 
> that?" don't work for you?
> This question is something specific the father wrote down. He feels it's 
> detremental to Ayla for me to raise her because when she points at 
> something and says "What's that?" I won't be able to answer.
>
> A: Children know what they are taught. They also mimick what they observe. 
> As she grows, Ayla will observe that pointing at objects holds no meaning 
> for me. Even now, when I talk to her and teach her what objects are, I put 
> my hand on the object, say the name, then put her hand on the object and 
> repeat its name. This will teach her that in order to show mommy 
> something, I need to be touching it.
>
> Granted, I know this won't work for absolutely everything, so any 
> suggestions here will really, really help.
>
> Q: How do you know when the baby has a bruise or abbrasion? How do you 
> treat the area without being able to see it?
>
> Q: How would you respond in an emergency?
>
> A: Same as anyone else. 911 then CPR or whatever a first aid class says to 
> do. I'll be registering for one shortly.
>
> Q: Are there any special devices or adaptive technology you use to make 
> caring for your child easier? If you guys can provide any links, that 
> would be so awesome.
>
> Q: How do you measure your child's liquid medicine when they are ill?
>
> A: I have a standard syringe that has been marked in both CC's as well as 
> teaspoons. Any other methods would be appreciated though.
>
> This is all I can think of for now. If I didn't address anything and you 
> guys think it's important, please let me know. I'm open to any and all 
> advice.
>
> Yours,
> Si
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/sieradream%40gmail.com 