[blparent] Please, Please Read: Parenting Questions the Court Will Want Me To Answer:Any Advice?

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Si, I'm going to write my responses below your questions so the thread of 
the message might be easier to follow.  Again, I hope you obtain a copy of 
"Parenting Without Sight" from the NFB.  The print booklet is a very good 
overview of blind parenting, complete with quotes and pictures, geared 
toward professionals who need a crash course on the subject.  I also hope 
the Looking Glass was helpful.  The organization has a lot of experience in 
advocating for disabled parents in the legal system.

I would also recommend the Hadley correspondence course on blind parenting. 
I took it, mostly because I had family members who were ready to challenge 
my abilities as a blind mom legally, but I ended up gathering a lot of 
excellent tips for my journey into motherhood, even though I started the 
class primarily to get the completion certificate.


Q: What were some of the blindness-related safety precautions you took when 
your little one began to crawl / walk?

Besides the standard answers of bells on the shoes or the Pipsqueak shoes 
that you can get that squeak when a child walks, one of the tips I got from 
the Hadley course was to put a plastic box of Tic-Tacs in a toddler's pocket 
because you can hear the candies rattling from relatively far away.  If you 
are worried about choking, which is unlikely because the Tic-Tacs are tiny 
and quick to dissolve, wrap the box in duct tape.  It will still make noise. 
I bought the "Mommy I'm Here" child locator on Amazon for about $30, and 
there's also another electronic device that tracks a child for up to 30 
feet, emitting a low beeping sound, so you can go to the park and such. 
I'll find the link and send it.  But the best plan is to listen closely. 
You'll get to know how your child moves, what she sounds like, and it's 
amazing what you can figure out by what you hear, or sometimes don't hear. 
More often than not, I was the one who noticed what my daughter was getting 
into before the sighted people around me.  It became second nature to always 
have an ear tuned to what was going on.  I taught my daughter as soon as she 
started to walk and talk that she needed to listen to me, not run, and 
answer when called if she wanted her freedom.  I also used a child leash, 
purchased from the baby section at Wal-Mart and commonly used by sighted 
parents.  When she got older, I made sure her tricycle and bike had horns or 
other noisemakers on them.


Q: How did you teach your child his or her colors?

You have some very good ideas already.  Honestly, I didn't have to try that 
hard to teach my daughter her colors.  Baby toys are often bright and bold, 
and there are many kid TV shows and movies that also work on colors.  But if 
your daughter is exposed to sighted people such as your friends and family, 
and especially if she goes to preschool or daycare, colors will largely come 
naturally to her, since kids are drawn to them.  My daughter learned her 
colors at about the same age and rate as other children.


How did you teach your child that pointing at objects and saying "What's 
that?" don't work for you?

Children are amazingly adaptable.  I don't truthfully recall my daughter 
ever pointing and asking what something was.  If she did and I didn't 
notice, she changed her mode of operation very quickly on her own.  She 
would put my hand on things, and her verbal skills developed quickly so she 
could make her needs and questions known.  I was always very hands-on with 
her, so often we explored the things in our environment together, which 
worked because I knew there was nothing unsafe for her to get.  As she's 
gotten older, she'll ask questions, and I'm not afraid to say, "I don't 
know.  Let's see if we can figure it out together."


Q: How do you know when the baby has a bruise or abbrasion? How do you treat 
the area without being able to see it?

Babies aren't particularly good at suffering in silence.  So after the first 
line of defense, which is being vigilant and preventing mishaps, the next 
step is to notice when your baby hurts herself.  She'll usually be only too 
glad to tell you.  I taught my daughter at a young age to take deep breaths 
and calm herself so she could tell me where she was hurt.  She's always 
taken my hand and showed me her little scrapes and bruises, and because 
she's learned not to go off the deep end, she doesn't consider a scuff here 
and there a major catastrophe.  Many people have commented on her 
toughness--her favorite expression is "no blood, no foul."  If your child is 
bleeding profusely or has broken a bone or something, you'll know it by her 
actions.  If she hasn't, then little more than a kiss and a Band-Aid is 
probably needed.  It's not hard to learn the basics of ice packs, Ace 
bandages, and TLC.


Q: How would you respond in an emergency?

What kind of an emergency?  Anybody can dial 911.  Anybody can follow basic 
safety precautions--seat belts and boosters in cars, life vests around 
water, keep low and get out of a burning building with something over your 
face to keep from breathing smoke.  Carry a cell pohne when you're out and 
about.  Don't travel with your child at night in high-risk places.  Sort of 
a silly question, common sense.  Biggest thing, don't panic.


Q: Are there any special devices or adaptive technology you use to make 
caring for your child easier? If you guys can provide any links, that would 
be so awesome.

Talking thermometer, although you'll get very good at gauging your child's 
temperature without it.
Child locator.
Talking scale if you want one.
I serve snacks in small bowls, also a tip from the Hadley course, so I know 
how much of something my daughter is eating.  A toddler bowl with a suction 
cup on the bottom also helped dishes not to get thrown on the floor during 
the messy stage.
Baby gates are your friends.  You can also use motion sensor chimes if you 
want them, so you know when your child leaves a room.  A lock on the screen 
door will keep her from wandering out of the house.  If your persnickety 
about clothes, you can get a color identifier that says the colors of 
different items aloud when you scan them.  Again, not rocket science.


Q: How do you measure your child's liquid medicine when they are ill?

Like you said, the syringe is the best way, or a plain teaspoon.  You can 
also often get prefilled syringes at many pharmacies.


I hope some of this helps.  Stay strong and calm, don't get rattled by 
questions.  Most of the answers are plain old common sense.  Don't forget to 
tell the judge about this list and the advice of those who have gone before.