[blparent] Update on my daughter Ashlee

[Dianna Alley]

people are going to ask questions that is what people do in society if you 
do not wish for people to do this on list then watch what you post like I 
stated earlier.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tammy" <tcl189 at rogers.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, January 28, 2013 3:08 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Update on my daughter Ashlee


>I Completely agree with this.  Jes has made her choice so who are we to 
>question it?
>
> Tammy
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Bernadetta
> Sent: Monday, January 28, 2013 3:55 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Update on my daughter Ashlee
>
> Rebecca,
> When someone is kidnapped, they are presumably in harm's way.
> Kidnapping is never done with any good intentions--Not as far as I know
> at least. So while you can argue that social services are  kidnapping a
> child, in a sense, when they take him or her away from biological
> parents, you can't say that the foster parents kidnapped the child. If
> a child is well cared for at a foster home, has been there since the
> earliest days, has had his or her needs met well by these foster
> parents, how is it ok for someone to interfere with that beyond a
> certain point just because they share the child's DNA. That biological
> parent knows little to nothing about the child's likes, dislikes,
> routines, upbringing until that point...Picture yourself as a little
> one or two year old. Would you want to leave the only home you've ever
> known and be told that the person you know as mommy is not your mommy
> anymore and a stranger is now your mommy? Wrap your head around that as
> an infant, if you will. Give it a shot--See how uncomfortable that must
> feel, how lost you must be, how much you must miss your family. Maybe
> you get over it, with time, but certainly repercussions are lifelong,
> from a Freudian standpoint.
> The sad truth is that neither set of parents means the kid any harm in
> this type of situation. The foster parents take on the role of
> caregivers, providers of love and security, assuming they are good
> foster parents, never meaning to take anyone's child away from them.
> Not initially at least. The birth parents find themselves in a
> precarious situation where their hands might be tied, yet they don't
> intentionally give their child up. Still, bonds are formed, time
> passes, and past a certain point when a child is able to comprehend, to
> form a personality, to form strong attachments, it seems to me a cruel
> fate to have to be shuffled off to the waiting arms of a biological 
> stranger.
> The only person who gets any true satisfaction out of the matter if
> things conclude that way is the biological parent. On that note, I
> think Jess is a most unselfish, gracious person to make the choice she
> did. And furthermore, it's definitely not your place to question such a
> personal decision as that. She sent the update seeking support, not for
> someone to sway her from the choice that must have been so hard to
> make. Jess undoubtedly recognized that the people who have been raising
> her little girl have been doing right by her, and she has executed the
> single most unselfish act of love. She gave her child the chance of
> stability, of a family she has known her entire life. She gave her
> child a chance at a life where she won't be uprooted, dragged to courts
> and visitations, all that painful, confusing drama that comes with
> custody cases.
> So with that said, I propose that we leave jess to her choice. It's not
> anyone's place to question it, not a major life choice such as this
> one. We should give her the support she needs and leave it at that.
> It's not our business how she came to make that choice or what
> circumstances she is willing or not willing to share. We're not the
> spanish inquisition, just a group of parents who are supposed to be
> there for each other through tough and joyous times.
>
> Bernadetta
>
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