[blparent] update on our lives.

Thu Jan 31 02:13:03 UTC 2013

Jennifer, I think your idea of the routine is a great one. All of us can get 
caught up in our own schedules that we forget our kids (mine are grown now 
so I have to say my dogs!-one retired and one working!) have routines that 
we need to remember, too. I think structure and routine are so important to 
little ones, but the medical and other evaluations are needed, too, I think.
Sharon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jennifer Jackson" <jennifersjackson at att.net>
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 29, 2013 11:10 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.


>I think it is time to get a doctor involved. The toileting thing by itself
> should be addressed because something is wrong. You can not move forward
> with any kind of training or addressing it from an emotional or
> psychological stand point until you rule out some kind of physical 
> problem.
>
> Please also talk to your doctor about getting a developmental evaluation 
> for
> your son. I know my youngest son's audiologist has been using the blocks 
> in
> the bucket with his testing since he was about two. I do not want to worry
> you, but you should move forward on this right away. Developmental 
> problems
> are most easy to address with younger children.
>
> I do have a thought on making living with the current toileting situation
> easier to live with though. Perhaps you could routinely spend some time 
> with
> him just sitting on the toilet several times a day. Maybe singing or
> listening to music to entertain him? If he goes in the toilet that is an
> extra blessing because it is one less mess for someone else to clean up. A
> little time learning to relax on the toilet may also encourage him to
> physically relax and be able to go. My thought is that whatever the 
> problem
> is that is keeping him from becoming trained, this kind of routine will 
> aid
> the situation. If you know what time he normally goes in his pull up then
> try to do this around that same time with the idea of perhaps preventing
> having to clean it yourself.
>
>
> Jennifer
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Shannan
> Zinck
> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:50 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] update on our lives.
>
> Hi all, it's been a long time. due to the condition with my eye (which is
> still ongoing) I have had to really limit my computer time as I use large
> print and not screen readers though if this goes on much longer I may have
> to consider that possibility just to keep in touch. Anyway a couple
> questions.
>
> I'm wondering if anyone has struggled with a much older child with potty
> training. Myles just turned 4 yesterday and is still not trained. We
> thought originally that he might just be stubborn but, now I'm not so 
> sure.
> Though he is strong willed he does listen pretty good to us. He can be
> playing along like nothing is happening and all of a sudden he'll tell me
> he peed but, that's only when his pullup is full and I mean leaking and
> running down his leg full. He can have several pees and not even notice 
> and
> same with BM's he doesn't stop for those either. He knows how to use the
> toilet and even goes in by himself quite often but, really it's hit and
> miss even with a half hourly schedule. He says he can't tell if he needs 
> to
> go or not and up until today I didn't believe him but, When he lies he
> changes his story constantly so he's easy to catch. He maintains the same
> story when it comes to knowing when he needs to go or not and say he
> doesn't know. I never know when he's going in his pants and he is a major
> people person so is in my space all the time so he is rarely in a 
> different
> room then either his father or myself. We've been working on potty 
> training
> for over 2 years now and recently even have been making him change his own
> pullup when wet. We thought this tactic would encourage him to try harder
> but no dice. # 2  he has never tried on the toilet and no future prospect
> is in sight for that. I'm beginning to get quite concerned given his age. 
> I
> know physically he is a bit behind due to the drugs in his system at birth
> but, not enough to cause concern. He always catches up. However at his age
> we are getting to the place where babysitters are pretty much impossible 
> to
> get because he is huge to begin with and no one wants to change a kid that
> age and size. He's 4 like I said and is over 3 feet tall weighing well 
> over
> 40lbs. I can't stand changing him and I'm his mom so I can just imagine 
> how
> a sitter would feel. When there is a medical issue it's easy to explain it
> but, when there's such a gray area to what could be wrong it's not so
> simple. I'm just plain discouraged and confused. I'm wondering if it's 
> time
> to get a doctor involved or just wait it out and see if the slow
> development is the problem. I'd hate to push the issue only to find out
> later that there was something wrong but, if it's just laziness on his 
> part
> fd hat to let it go. He can't even get involved in group activities yet
> because he's not trained, it's down right embarrassing. You know it's 
> funny
> that before I had kids of my own I swore I'd never have a child who wasn't
> trained by the time they were 2 and now look at us. For all the parents 
> who
> struggle with or have struggled with this issue I apologize whole
> heartedly. I realize now that you can't choose what life will bring you 
> all
> you can do is work through it. Part of this is because with my eye 
> problems
> as bad as they have been we decided for a short while to let training go
> because I am so limited in what I can do right now but, that lovely issue
> has been going on so long almost 2 years now that we can no longer just
> leave it alone. This past year has been a strange one for sure.
> Also today we discovered that he seems to struggle with putting 2 and 2
> together. figuring out simple concepts so we wonder if that has something
> to do with potty training as well. We took him for a hearing test and he
> can hear fine however when asked to put blocks into a bucket whenever he
> heard a beep he couldn't do it for some reason. he wanted to and when I 
> did
> it with him he did it fine but, when doing it himself he couldn't. When 
> the
> doc asked him if he heard the beeps he said yes but, the blocks never went
> into the bucket. He knew he had to put them in the bucket and he knew he
> could hear the sounds but, he couldn't put the 2 things together unless
> some one was doing it with him which isn't a true test since he was 
> copying
> me. Now he has to go back again in a few months. I would have thought at
> his age he'd have been able to figure out how the do this. I'm wondering
> what kids at his age should know how to do. average kids that is. It's 
> been
> a long few months though I finally have a follow up appointment for my eye
> and am hoping they will finally tell me when they will get around to
> removing it. About the babysitter thing also I'm concerned about privacy.
> He is older now and though he is not trained I not so sure about how
> comfortable I am with babysitters changing him. Maybe I'm being paranoid
> but, he is my son and I want to protect him. We are very careful about who
> babysits but, some people have different boundaries then others He's
> getting to an age where he needs to understand boundaries and that hard to
> do when everyone who looks after him has to change his butt. One of the
> only sitters we have due to his age that is willing does things that make
> me uncomfortable. She isn't intentionally doing wrong things and nothing
> alarming just concerning like the way she tickles him and things like 
> that.
> She has little concept of proper boundaries and I'm not sure how to deal
> with this. She's the only sitter I've got yet I'm not so sure she's good
> for him. Don't get me wrong she not molesting him or anything like that
> she's too childlike herself for that but, she is too touchy feely and
> clingy for my liking. Just so you are aware I'm a VERY private person
> overly so, so some of this could be my own paranoia as well but, I'm 
> having
> a hard time discerning this situation. I'm not willing to have my son put
> in harms way so I am really stomped on what to do here. I've expressed 
> this
> to my husband and he isn't sure what to do either. She is 23 but, seems to
> act like a 14 year old. not very mature at all. any ideas sorry for the
> book it's been a while. I'll try to keep in touch better.
>
>
> -- 
> Shannan Zinck
> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
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