[blparent] update on our lives.
Dianna Alley
dianna24 at earthlink.net
Thu Jan 31 19:23:09 UTC 2013
well shows what you know again Going to start soon and what is your point
anyway? you may work but you seem to be emailing a lot so what kind of work
are you doing? Most companies do not wish for you to live on your computer
or phone while at work.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 1:17 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> now lets be honest here dear, you don't work.
> Gabe Vega
> CEO
> Commtech LLC
> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>
> On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:13 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
> wrote:
>
>> Of course not. That's a stupid comment. I work and raise my daughter,
>> I've changed plenty of nasty diapers and cleaned up my body weight in
>> barf. Shannon never said she denied her son anything. She just said it
>> was unsavory, which I'm sure it is. Most people will deal with body
>> fluids and solids as they have to, but I don't know anybody who likes it.
>> And you can't say she's complained about every little thing when she
>> hasn't even posted for eons.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you
>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full
>> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:58 AM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>
>> not it at all. its just that those of us who live life, while working and
>> raising our kids, some times even as a single parent. don't sit here and
>> complain about the littlest things. there is nothing wrong with changing
>> your own kids no matter how big they get. 2 months or 4 years. if they
>> need changing and they can't do it themselves, who are we as parents to
>> deny them the help? so if your daughter/son, threw up all over you when
>> they had the flue, would you get mad at them? make them clean up their
>> own Barf?
>> Gabe Vega
>> CEO
>> Commtech LLC
>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>
>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 11:35 AM, "Dianna Alley" <dianna24 at earthlink.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Well it is disgusting I mean we love our kids but as they get older it
>>> gets harder to change and nastier that does not mean she has an issue
>>> with her child or his body. He should be trained by now accept for
>>> maybe an accident or two. I think some of you all just like to find
>>> issue with people.
>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:19 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>
>>>
>>>> I'll be honest, I kind of scratched my head in wonder about that
>>>> statement as well, about her not liking changing her son. yes, I
>>>> understand he's big, and yes I understand the potential underlining
>>>> issues, but, just weird to here a mother say that. thats all.
>>>> Gabe Vega
>>>> CEO
>>>> Commtech LLC
>>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>>>
>>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 8:09 AM, "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)"
>>>> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Shannon,
>>>>> I'm concerned when you say you are disgusted by your son's diapers.
>>>>> You're his mother and of all people his body shouldn't disgust you.
>>>>> I get that you wish he'd be potty trained already. I get that he's
>>>>> probably produced some nasty poops. What I don't get is continual
>>>>> disgust. I would understand if you said "Wow that diaper sure was
>>>>> gross" or "that poop should go into the toxic waste disposal system"
>>>>> but not continual disgust.
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm wondering if some of your disgust is due to other issues, or if
>>>>> you haven't learned techniques to deal with his diapers effectively.
>>>>> You say your vision is very limited. I'm wondering if you thought "My
>>>>> kid will be out of diapers, I don't need to even think about how to
>>>>> change a diaper and not see while I do it".
>>>>> You have many other issues in your post. Your sitter needs to go if
>>>>> she's not behaving appropriately. Don't excuse her behavior. Your son
>>>>> will learn boundaries, though his boundaries may not be boundaries you
>>>>> like. That's ok, he's his own person. Convey to him that he can always
>>>>> tell somebody to stop what they are doing, and that you will always
>>>>> have his back. You won't convey this if you view his body as a
>>>>> disgusting thing that you shouldn't have to deal with.
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>>> Jennifer Jackson
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:10 AM
>>>>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>
>>>>> I think it is time to get a doctor involved. The toileting thing by
>>>>> itself
>>>>> should be addressed because something is wrong. You can not move
>>>>> forward
>>>>> with any kind of training or addressing it from an emotional or
>>>>> psychological stand point until you rule out some kind of physical
>>>>> problem.
>>>>>
>>>>> Please also talk to your doctor about getting a developmental
>>>>> evaluation for
>>>>> your son. I know my youngest son's audiologist has been using the
>>>>> blocks in
>>>>> the bucket with his testing since he was about two. I do not want to
>>>>> worry
>>>>> you, but you should move forward on this right away. Developmental
>>>>> problems
>>>>> are most easy to address with younger children.
>>>>>
>>>>> I do have a thought on making living with the current toileting
>>>>> situation
>>>>> easier to live with though. Perhaps you could routinely spend some
>>>>> time with
>>>>> him just sitting on the toilet several times a day. Maybe singing or
>>>>> listening to music to entertain him? If he goes in the toilet that is
>>>>> an
>>>>> extra blessing because it is one less mess for someone else to clean
>>>>> up. A
>>>>> little time learning to relax on the toilet may also encourage him to
>>>>> physically relax and be able to go. My thought is that whatever the
>>>>> problem
>>>>> is that is keeping him from becoming trained, this kind of routine
>>>>> will aid
>>>>> the situation. If you know what time he normally goes in his pull up
>>>>> then
>>>>> try to do this around that same time with the idea of perhaps
>>>>> preventing
>>>>> having to clean it yourself.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Jennifer
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>>> Shannan
>>>>> Zinck
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:50 PM
>>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>>> Subject: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi all, it's been a long time. due to the condition with my eye (which
>>>>> is
>>>>> still ongoing) I have had to really limit my computer time as I use
>>>>> large
>>>>> print and not screen readers though if this goes on much longer I may
>>>>> have
>>>>> to consider that possibility just to keep in touch. Anyway a couple
>>>>> questions.
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm wondering if anyone has struggled with a much older child with
>>>>> potty
>>>>> training. Myles just turned 4 yesterday and is still not trained. We
>>>>> thought originally that he might just be stubborn but, now I'm not so
>>>>> sure.
>>>>> Though he is strong willed he does listen pretty good to us. He can be
>>>>> playing along like nothing is happening and all of a sudden he'll tell
>>>>> me
>>>>> he peed but, that's only when his pullup is full and I mean leaking
>>>>> and
>>>>> running down his leg full. He can have several pees and not even
>>>>> notice and
>>>>> same with BM's he doesn't stop for those either. He knows how to use
>>>>> the
>>>>> toilet and even goes in by himself quite often but, really it's hit
>>>>> and
>>>>> miss even with a half hourly schedule. He says he can't tell if he
>>>>> needs to
>>>>> go or not and up until today I didn't believe him but, When he lies he
>>>>> changes his story constantly so he's easy to catch. He maintains the
>>>>> same
>>>>> story when it comes to knowing when he needs to go or not and say he
>>>>> doesn't know. I never know when he's going in his pants and he is a
>>>>> major
>>>>> people person so is in my space all the time so he is rarely in a
>>>>> different
>>>>> room then either his father or myself. We've been working on potty
>>>>> training
>>>>> for over 2 years now and recently even have been making him change his
>>>>> own
>>>>> pullup when wet. We thought this tactic would encourage him to try
>>>>> harder
>>>>> but no dice. # 2 he has never tried on the toilet and no future
>>>>> prospect
>>>>> is in sight for that. I'm beginning to get quite concerned given his
>>>>> age. I
>>>>> know physically he is a bit behind due to the drugs in his system at
>>>>> birth
>>>>> but, not enough to cause concern. He always catches up. However at his
>>>>> age
>>>>> we are getting to the place where babysitters are pretty much
>>>>> impossible to
>>>>> get because he is huge to begin with and no one wants to change a kid
>>>>> that
>>>>> age and size. He's 4 like I said and is over 3 feet tall weighing well
>>>>> over
>>>>> 40lbs. I can't stand changing him and I'm his mom so I can just
>>>>> imagine how
>>>>> a sitter would feel. When there is a medical issue it's easy to
>>>>> explain it
>>>>> but, when there's such a gray area to what could be wrong it's not so
>>>>> simple. I'm just plain discouraged and confused. I'm wondering if it's
>>>>> time
>>>>> to get a doctor involved or just wait it out and see if the slow
>>>>> development is the problem. I'd hate to push the issue only to find
>>>>> out
>>>>> later that there was something wrong but, if it's just laziness on his
>>>>> part
>>>>> fd hat to let it go. He can't even get involved in group activities
>>>>> yet
>>>>> because he's not trained, it's down right embarrassing. You know it's
>>>>> funny
>>>>> that before I had kids of my own I swore I'd never have a child who
>>>>> wasn't
>>>>> trained by the time they were 2 and now look at us. For all the
>>>>> parents who
>>>>> struggle with or have struggled with this issue I apologize whole
>>>>> heartedly. I realize now that you can't choose what life will bring
>>>>> you all
>>>>> you can do is work through it. Part of this is because with my eye
>>>>> problems
>>>>> as bad as they have been we decided for a short while to let training
>>>>> go
>>>>> because I am so limited in what I can do right now but, that lovely
>>>>> issue
>>>>> has been going on so long almost 2 years now that we can no longer
>>>>> just
>>>>> leave it alone. This past year has been a strange one for sure.
>>>>> Also today we discovered that he seems to struggle with putting 2 and
>>>>> 2
>>>>> together. figuring out simple concepts so we wonder if that has
>>>>> something
>>>>> to do with potty training as well. We took him for a hearing test and
>>>>> he
>>>>> can hear fine however when asked to put blocks into a bucket whenever
>>>>> he
>>>>> heard a beep he couldn't do it for some reason. he wanted to and when
>>>>> I did
>>>>> it with him he did it fine but, when doing it himself he couldn't.
>>>>> When the
>>>>> doc asked him if he heard the beeps he said yes but, the blocks never
>>>>> went
>>>>> into the bucket. He knew he had to put them in the bucket and he knew
>>>>> he
>>>>> could hear the sounds but, he couldn't put the 2 things together
>>>>> unless
>>>>> some one was doing it with him which isn't a true test since he was
>>>>> copying
>>>>> me. Now he has to go back again in a few months. I would have thought
>>>>> at
>>>>> his age he'd have been able to figure out how the do this. I'm
>>>>> wondering
>>>>> what kids at his age should know how to do. average kids that is. It's
>>>>> been
>>>>> a long few months though I finally have a follow up appointment for my
>>>>> eye
>>>>> and am hoping they will finally tell me when they will get around to
>>>>> removing it. About the babysitter thing also I'm concerned about
>>>>> privacy.
>>>>> He is older now and though he is not trained I not so sure about how
>>>>> comfortable I am with babysitters changing him. Maybe I'm being
>>>>> paranoid
>>>>> but, he is my son and I want to protect him. We are very careful about
>>>>> who
>>>>> babysits but, some people have different boundaries then others He's
>>>>> getting to an age where he needs to understand boundaries and that
>>>>> hard to
>>>>> do when everyone who looks after him has to change his butt. One of
>>>>> the
>>>>> only sitters we have due to his age that is willing does things that
>>>>> make
>>>>> me uncomfortable. She isn't intentionally doing wrong things and
>>>>> nothing
>>>>> alarming just concerning like the way she tickles him and things like
>>>>> that.
>>>>> She has little concept of proper boundaries and I'm not sure how to
>>>>> deal
>>>>> with this. She's the only sitter I've got yet I'm not so sure she's
>>>>> good
>>>>> for him. Don't get me wrong she not molesting him or anything like
>>>>> that
>>>>> she's too childlike herself for that but, she is too touchy feely and
>>>>> clingy for my liking. Just so you are aware I'm a VERY private person
>>>>> overly so, so some of this could be my own paranoia as well but, I'm
>>>>> having
>>>>> a hard time discerning this situation. I'm not willing to have my son
>>>>> put
>>>>> in harms way so I am really stomped on what to do here. I've expressed
>>>>> this
>>>>> to my husband and he isn't sure what to do either. She is 23 but,
>>>>> seems to
>>>>> act like a 14 year old. not very mature at all. any ideas sorry for
>>>>> the
>>>>> book it's been a while. I'll try to keep in touch better.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Shannan Zinck
>>>>> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
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