[blparent] update on our lives.

[Dianna Alley]

No i just was not sure who you were talking about I would not let a list 
make me paranoid anyway.  I live in the real world and can determine what to 
use on here and what to ignore.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 1:34 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.


>I don't even know anything about you, and don't wish to, I wasn't speaking 
>to you. a little paranoid huh Dianne?
> Gabe Vega
> CEO
> Commtech LLC
> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>
> On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:27 PM, "Dianna Alley" <dianna24 at earthlink.net> 
> wrote:
>
>> I think he was talking about me to be honest and I do not care what 
>> people on this list or any other list say about me cause I know how 
>> people are
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 1:21 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>
>>
>>> Don't start that again.  Just don't.  I'm working right now, 
>>> proofreading a novel for a braille production house out of Philadelphia. 
>>> You have no way to know what I do or don't do, so keep your remarks 
>>> about my personal life to yourself, please.
>>>
>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>
>>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full 
>>> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:17 PM
>>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>
>>> now lets be honest here dear, you don't work.
>>> Gabe Vega
>>> CEO
>>> Commtech LLC
>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>>
>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:13 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> 
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Of course not.  That's a stupid comment.  I work and raise my daughter, 
>>>> I've changed plenty of nasty diapers and cleaned up my body weight in 
>>>> barf. Shannon never said she denied her son anything.  She just said it 
>>>> was unsavory, which I'm sure it is.  Most people will deal with body 
>>>> fluids and solids as they have to, but I don't know anybody who likes 
>>>> it. And you can't say she's complained about every little thing when 
>>>> she hasn't even posted for eons.
>>>>
>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>>
>>>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>>>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and 
>>>> full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>>>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
>>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:58 AM
>>>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>
>>>> not it at all. its just that those of us who live life, while working 
>>>> and raising our kids, some times even as a single parent. don't sit 
>>>> here and complain about the littlest things. there is nothing wrong 
>>>> with changing your own kids no matter how big they get. 2 months or 4 
>>>> years. if they need changing and they can't do it themselves, who are 
>>>> we as parents to deny them the help? so if your daughter/son, threw up 
>>>> all over you when they had the flue, would you get mad at them? make 
>>>> them clean up their own Barf?
>>>> Gabe Vega
>>>> CEO
>>>> Commtech LLC
>>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>>>
>>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 11:35 AM, "Dianna Alley" <dianna24 at earthlink.net> 
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Well it is disgusting I mean we love our kids but as they get older it 
>>>>> gets harder to change and nastier that does not mean she has an issue 
>>>>> with her child or his body.  He should be trained by now accept for 
>>>>> maybe an accident or two.  I think some of you all just like to find 
>>>>> issue with people.
>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega" 
>>>>> <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>>>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:19 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> I'll be honest, I kind of scratched my head in wonder about that 
>>>>>> statement as well, about her not liking changing her son. yes, I 
>>>>>> understand he's big, and yes I understand the potential underlining 
>>>>>> issues, but, just weird to here a mother say that. thats all.
>>>>>> Gabe Vega
>>>>>> CEO
>>>>>> Commtech LLC
>>>>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>>>>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>>>>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>>>>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>>>>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 8:09 AM, "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" 
>>>>>> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Shannon,
>>>>>>> I'm concerned when you say you are disgusted by your son's diapers. 
>>>>>>> You're his mother and of all people his body shouldn't disgust you.
>>>>>>> I get that you wish he'd be potty trained already.  I get that he's 
>>>>>>> probably produced some nasty poops. What I don't get is continual 
>>>>>>> disgust. I would understand if you said "Wow that diaper sure was 
>>>>>>> gross" or "that poop should go into the toxic waste disposal system" 
>>>>>>> but not continual disgust.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I'm wondering if some of your disgust is due to other issues, or if 
>>>>>>> you haven't learned techniques to deal with his diapers effectively. 
>>>>>>> You say your vision is very limited. I'm wondering if you thought 
>>>>>>> "My kid will be out of diapers, I don't need to even think about how 
>>>>>>> to change a diaper and not see while I do it".
>>>>>>> You have many other issues in your post. Your sitter needs to go if 
>>>>>>> she's not behaving appropriately. Don't excuse her behavior.  Your 
>>>>>>> son will learn boundaries, though his boundaries may not be 
>>>>>>> boundaries you like. That's ok, he's his own person. Convey to him 
>>>>>>> that he can always tell somebody to stop what they are doing, and 
>>>>>>> that you will always have his back.   You won't convey this if you 
>>>>>>> view his body as a disgusting thing that you shouldn't have to deal 
>>>>>>> with.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>>>>>> Jennifer Jackson
>>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:10 AM
>>>>>>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I think it is time to get a doctor involved. The toileting thing by 
>>>>>>> itself
>>>>>>> should be addressed because something is wrong. You can not move 
>>>>>>> forward
>>>>>>> with any kind of training or addressing it from an emotional or
>>>>>>> psychological stand point until you rule out some kind of physical 
>>>>>>> problem.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Please also talk to your doctor about getting a developmental 
>>>>>>> evaluation for
>>>>>>> your son. I know my youngest son's audiologist has been using the 
>>>>>>> blocks in
>>>>>>> the bucket with his testing since he was about two. I do not want to 
>>>>>>> worry
>>>>>>> you, but you should move forward on this right away. Developmental 
>>>>>>> problems
>>>>>>> are most easy to address with younger children.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I do have a thought on making living with the current toileting 
>>>>>>> situation
>>>>>>> easier to live with though. Perhaps you could routinely spend some 
>>>>>>> time with
>>>>>>> him just sitting on the toilet several times a day. Maybe singing or
>>>>>>> listening to music to entertain him? If he goes in the toilet that 
>>>>>>> is an
>>>>>>> extra blessing because it is one less mess for someone else to clean 
>>>>>>> up. A
>>>>>>> little time learning to relax on the toilet may also encourage him 
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> physically relax and be able to go. My thought is that whatever the 
>>>>>>> problem
>>>>>>> is that is keeping him from becoming trained, this kind of routine 
>>>>>>> will aid
>>>>>>> the situation. If you know what time he normally goes in his pull up 
>>>>>>> then
>>>>>>> try to do this around that same time with the idea of perhaps 
>>>>>>> preventing
>>>>>>> having to clean it yourself.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Jennifer
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>>>>>> Shannan
>>>>>>> Zinck
>>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:50 PM
>>>>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> Subject: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi all, it's been a long time. due to the condition with my eye 
>>>>>>> (which is
>>>>>>> still ongoing) I have had to really limit my computer time as I use 
>>>>>>> large
>>>>>>> print and not screen readers though if this goes on much longer I 
>>>>>>> may have
>>>>>>> to consider that possibility just to keep in touch. Anyway a couple
>>>>>>> questions.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I'm wondering if anyone has struggled with a much older child with 
>>>>>>> potty
>>>>>>> training. Myles just turned 4 yesterday and is still not trained. We
>>>>>>> thought originally that he might just be stubborn but, now I'm not 
>>>>>>> so sure.
>>>>>>> Though he is strong willed he does listen pretty good to us. He can 
>>>>>>> be
>>>>>>> playing along like nothing is happening and all of a sudden he'll 
>>>>>>> tell me
>>>>>>> he peed but, that's only when his pullup is full and I mean leaking 
>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>> running down his leg full. He can have several pees and not even 
>>>>>>> notice and
>>>>>>> same with BM's he doesn't stop for those either. He knows how to use 
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> toilet and even goes in by himself quite often but, really it's hit 
>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>> miss even with a half hourly schedule. He says he can't tell if he 
>>>>>>> needs to
>>>>>>> go or not and up until today I didn't believe him but, When he lies 
>>>>>>> he
>>>>>>> changes his story constantly so he's easy to catch. He maintains the 
>>>>>>> same
>>>>>>> story when it comes to knowing when he needs to go or not and say he
>>>>>>> doesn't know. I never know when he's going in his pants and he is a 
>>>>>>> major
>>>>>>> people person so is in my space all the time so he is rarely in a 
>>>>>>> different
>>>>>>> room then either his father or myself. We've been working on potty 
>>>>>>> training
>>>>>>> for over 2 years now and recently even have been making him change 
>>>>>>> his own
>>>>>>> pullup when wet. We thought this tactic would encourage him to try 
>>>>>>> harder
>>>>>>> but no dice. # 2  he has never tried on the toilet and no future 
>>>>>>> prospect
>>>>>>> is in sight for that. I'm beginning to get quite concerned given his 
>>>>>>> age. I
>>>>>>> know physically he is a bit behind due to the drugs in his system at 
>>>>>>> birth
>>>>>>> but, not enough to cause concern. He always catches up. However at 
>>>>>>> his age
>>>>>>> we are getting to the place where babysitters are pretty much 
>>>>>>> impossible to
>>>>>>> get because he is huge to begin with and no one wants to change a 
>>>>>>> kid that
>>>>>>> age and size. He's 4 like I said and is over 3 feet tall weighing 
>>>>>>> well over
>>>>>>> 40lbs. I can't stand changing him and I'm his mom so I can just 
>>>>>>> imagine how
>>>>>>> a sitter would feel. When there is a medical issue it's easy to 
>>>>>>> explain it
>>>>>>> but, when there's such a gray area to what could be wrong it's not 
>>>>>>> so
>>>>>>> simple. I'm just plain discouraged and confused. I'm wondering if 
>>>>>>> it's time
>>>>>>> to get a doctor involved or just wait it out and see if the slow
>>>>>>> development is the problem. I'd hate to push the issue only to find 
>>>>>>> out
>>>>>>> later that there was something wrong but, if it's just laziness on 
>>>>>>> his part
>>>>>>> fd hat to let it go. He can't even get involved in group activities 
>>>>>>> yet
>>>>>>> because he's not trained, it's down right embarrassing. You know 
>>>>>>> it's funny
>>>>>>> that before I had kids of my own I swore I'd never have a child who 
>>>>>>> wasn't
>>>>>>> trained by the time they were 2 and now look at us. For all the 
>>>>>>> parents who
>>>>>>> struggle with or have struggled with this issue I apologize whole
>>>>>>> heartedly. I realize now that you can't choose what life will bring 
>>>>>>> you all
>>>>>>> you can do is work through it. Part of this is because with my eye 
>>>>>>> problems
>>>>>>> as bad as they have been we decided for a short while to let 
>>>>>>> training go
>>>>>>> because I am so limited in what I can do right now but, that lovely 
>>>>>>> issue
>>>>>>> has been going on so long almost 2 years now that we can no longer 
>>>>>>> just
>>>>>>> leave it alone. This past year has been a strange one for sure.
>>>>>>> Also today we discovered that he seems to struggle with putting 2 
>>>>>>> and 2
>>>>>>> together. figuring out simple concepts so we wonder if that has 
>>>>>>> something
>>>>>>> to do with potty training as well. We took him for a hearing test 
>>>>>>> and he
>>>>>>> can hear fine however when asked to put blocks into a bucket 
>>>>>>> whenever he
>>>>>>> heard a beep he couldn't do it for some reason. he wanted to and 
>>>>>>> when I did
>>>>>>> it with him he did it fine but, when doing it himself he couldn't. 
>>>>>>> When the
>>>>>>> doc asked him if he heard the beeps he said yes but, the blocks 
>>>>>>> never went
>>>>>>> into the bucket. He knew he had to put them in the bucket and he 
>>>>>>> knew he
>>>>>>> could hear the sounds but, he couldn't put the 2 things together 
>>>>>>> unless
>>>>>>> some one was doing it with him which isn't a true test since he was 
>>>>>>> copying
>>>>>>> me. Now he has to go back again in a few months. I would have 
>>>>>>> thought at
>>>>>>> his age he'd have been able to figure out how the do this. I'm 
>>>>>>> wondering
>>>>>>> what kids at his age should know how to do. average kids that is. 
>>>>>>> It's been
>>>>>>> a long few months though I finally have a follow up appointment for 
>>>>>>> my eye
>>>>>>> and am hoping they will finally tell me when they will get around to
>>>>>>> removing it. About the babysitter thing also I'm concerned about 
>>>>>>> privacy.
>>>>>>> He is older now and though he is not trained I not so sure about how
>>>>>>> comfortable I am with babysitters changing him. Maybe I'm being 
>>>>>>> paranoid
>>>>>>> but, he is my son and I want to protect him. We are very careful 
>>>>>>> about who
>>>>>>> babysits but, some people have different boundaries then others He's
>>>>>>> getting to an age where he needs to understand boundaries and that 
>>>>>>> hard to
>>>>>>> do when everyone who looks after him has to change his butt. One of 
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> only sitters we have due to his age that is willing does things that 
>>>>>>> make
>>>>>>> me uncomfortable. She isn't intentionally doing wrong things and 
>>>>>>> nothing
>>>>>>> alarming just concerning like the way she tickles him and things 
>>>>>>> like that.
>>>>>>> She has little concept of proper boundaries and I'm not sure how to 
>>>>>>> deal
>>>>>>> with this. She's the only sitter I've got yet I'm not so sure she's 
>>>>>>> good
>>>>>>> for him. Don't get me wrong she not molesting him or anything like 
>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>> she's too childlike herself for that but, she is too touchy feely 
>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>> clingy for my liking. Just so you are aware I'm a VERY private 
>>>>>>> person
>>>>>>> overly so, so some of this could be my own paranoia as well but, I'm 
>>>>>>> having
>>>>>>> a hard time discerning this situation. I'm not willing to have my 
>>>>>>> son put
>>>>>>> in harms way so I am really stomped on what to do here. I've 
>>>>>>> expressed this
>>>>>>> to my husband and he isn't sure what to do either. She is 23 but, 
>>>>>>> seems to
>>>>>>> act like a 14 year old. not very mature at all. any ideas sorry for 
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> book it's been a while. I'll try to keep in touch better.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> --
>>>>>>> Shannan Zinck
>>>>>>> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>
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