[blparent] update on our lives.
Dianna Alley
dianna24 at earthlink.net
Thu Jan 31 19:29:00 UTC 2013
Well that is not true you can still get ssi and work it jests gets cut so
their you go again knowing things you do not know.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 1:23 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> then you shouldn't bring things on list you don't want comments on. you
> are the one that brought of working. but last time you wrote about being
> on SSI. so did you receive a SSI check this month. if so, then you aren't
> working, atleast enough to claim you are selfrelient.
> Gabe Vega
> CEO
> Commtech LLC
> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>
> On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:21 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
> wrote:
>
>> Don't start that again. Just don't. I'm working right now, proofreading
>> a novel for a braille production house out of Philadelphia. You have no
>> way to know what I do or don't do, so keep your remarks about my personal
>> life to yourself, please.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you
>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full
>> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:17 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>
>> now lets be honest here dear, you don't work.
>> Gabe Vega
>> CEO
>> Commtech LLC
>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>
>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:13 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Of course not. That's a stupid comment. I work and raise my daughter,
>>> I've changed plenty of nasty diapers and cleaned up my body weight in
>>> barf. Shannon never said she denied her son anything. She just said it
>>> was unsavory, which I'm sure it is. Most people will deal with body
>>> fluids and solids as they have to, but I don't know anybody who likes
>>> it. And you can't say she's complained about every little thing when she
>>> hasn't even posted for eons.
>>>
>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>
>>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you
>>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full
>>> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:58 AM
>>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>
>>> not it at all. its just that those of us who live life, while working
>>> and raising our kids, some times even as a single parent. don't sit here
>>> and complain about the littlest things. there is nothing wrong with
>>> changing your own kids no matter how big they get. 2 months or 4 years.
>>> if they need changing and they can't do it themselves, who are we as
>>> parents to deny them the help? so if your daughter/son, threw up all
>>> over you when they had the flue, would you get mad at them? make them
>>> clean up their own Barf?
>>> Gabe Vega
>>> CEO
>>> Commtech LLC
>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>>
>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 11:35 AM, "Dianna Alley" <dianna24 at earthlink.net>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Well it is disgusting I mean we love our kids but as they get older it
>>>> gets harder to change and nastier that does not mean she has an issue
>>>> with her child or his body. He should be trained by now accept for
>>>> maybe an accident or two. I think some of you all just like to find
>>>> issue with people.
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:19 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> I'll be honest, I kind of scratched my head in wonder about that
>>>>> statement as well, about her not liking changing her son. yes, I
>>>>> understand he's big, and yes I understand the potential underlining
>>>>> issues, but, just weird to here a mother say that. thats all.
>>>>> Gabe Vega
>>>>> CEO
>>>>> Commtech LLC
>>>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>>>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>>>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>>>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>>>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>>>>
>>>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 8:09 AM, "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)"
>>>>> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Shannon,
>>>>>> I'm concerned when you say you are disgusted by your son's diapers.
>>>>>> You're his mother and of all people his body shouldn't disgust you.
>>>>>> I get that you wish he'd be potty trained already. I get that he's
>>>>>> probably produced some nasty poops. What I don't get is continual
>>>>>> disgust. I would understand if you said "Wow that diaper sure was
>>>>>> gross" or "that poop should go into the toxic waste disposal system"
>>>>>> but not continual disgust.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I'm wondering if some of your disgust is due to other issues, or if
>>>>>> you haven't learned techniques to deal with his diapers effectively.
>>>>>> You say your vision is very limited. I'm wondering if you thought "My
>>>>>> kid will be out of diapers, I don't need to even think about how to
>>>>>> change a diaper and not see while I do it".
>>>>>> You have many other issues in your post. Your sitter needs to go if
>>>>>> she's not behaving appropriately. Don't excuse her behavior. Your
>>>>>> son will learn boundaries, though his boundaries may not be
>>>>>> boundaries you like. That's ok, he's his own person. Convey to him
>>>>>> that he can always tell somebody to stop what they are doing, and
>>>>>> that you will always have his back. You won't convey this if you
>>>>>> view his body as a disgusting thing that you shouldn't have to deal
>>>>>> with.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>>>> Jennifer Jackson
>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:10 AM
>>>>>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I think it is time to get a doctor involved. The toileting thing by
>>>>>> itself
>>>>>> should be addressed because something is wrong. You can not move
>>>>>> forward
>>>>>> with any kind of training or addressing it from an emotional or
>>>>>> psychological stand point until you rule out some kind of physical
>>>>>> problem.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Please also talk to your doctor about getting a developmental
>>>>>> evaluation for
>>>>>> your son. I know my youngest son's audiologist has been using the
>>>>>> blocks in
>>>>>> the bucket with his testing since he was about two. I do not want to
>>>>>> worry
>>>>>> you, but you should move forward on this right away. Developmental
>>>>>> problems
>>>>>> are most easy to address with younger children.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I do have a thought on making living with the current toileting
>>>>>> situation
>>>>>> easier to live with though. Perhaps you could routinely spend some
>>>>>> time with
>>>>>> him just sitting on the toilet several times a day. Maybe singing or
>>>>>> listening to music to entertain him? If he goes in the toilet that is
>>>>>> an
>>>>>> extra blessing because it is one less mess for someone else to clean
>>>>>> up. A
>>>>>> little time learning to relax on the toilet may also encourage him to
>>>>>> physically relax and be able to go. My thought is that whatever the
>>>>>> problem
>>>>>> is that is keeping him from becoming trained, this kind of routine
>>>>>> will aid
>>>>>> the situation. If you know what time he normally goes in his pull up
>>>>>> then
>>>>>> try to do this around that same time with the idea of perhaps
>>>>>> preventing
>>>>>> having to clean it yourself.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Jennifer
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>>>> Shannan
>>>>>> Zinck
>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:50 PM
>>>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> Subject: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi all, it's been a long time. due to the condition with my eye
>>>>>> (which is
>>>>>> still ongoing) I have had to really limit my computer time as I use
>>>>>> large
>>>>>> print and not screen readers though if this goes on much longer I may
>>>>>> have
>>>>>> to consider that possibility just to keep in touch. Anyway a couple
>>>>>> questions.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I'm wondering if anyone has struggled with a much older child with
>>>>>> potty
>>>>>> training. Myles just turned 4 yesterday and is still not trained. We
>>>>>> thought originally that he might just be stubborn but, now I'm not so
>>>>>> sure.
>>>>>> Though he is strong willed he does listen pretty good to us. He can
>>>>>> be
>>>>>> playing along like nothing is happening and all of a sudden he'll
>>>>>> tell me
>>>>>> he peed but, that's only when his pullup is full and I mean leaking
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> running down his leg full. He can have several pees and not even
>>>>>> notice and
>>>>>> same with BM's he doesn't stop for those either. He knows how to use
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> toilet and even goes in by himself quite often but, really it's hit
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> miss even with a half hourly schedule. He says he can't tell if he
>>>>>> needs to
>>>>>> go or not and up until today I didn't believe him but, When he lies
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> changes his story constantly so he's easy to catch. He maintains the
>>>>>> same
>>>>>> story when it comes to knowing when he needs to go or not and say he
>>>>>> doesn't know. I never know when he's going in his pants and he is a
>>>>>> major
>>>>>> people person so is in my space all the time so he is rarely in a
>>>>>> different
>>>>>> room then either his father or myself. We've been working on potty
>>>>>> training
>>>>>> for over 2 years now and recently even have been making him change
>>>>>> his own
>>>>>> pullup when wet. We thought this tactic would encourage him to try
>>>>>> harder
>>>>>> but no dice. # 2 he has never tried on the toilet and no future
>>>>>> prospect
>>>>>> is in sight for that. I'm beginning to get quite concerned given his
>>>>>> age. I
>>>>>> know physically he is a bit behind due to the drugs in his system at
>>>>>> birth
>>>>>> but, not enough to cause concern. He always catches up. However at
>>>>>> his age
>>>>>> we are getting to the place where babysitters are pretty much
>>>>>> impossible to
>>>>>> get because he is huge to begin with and no one wants to change a kid
>>>>>> that
>>>>>> age and size. He's 4 like I said and is over 3 feet tall weighing
>>>>>> well over
>>>>>> 40lbs. I can't stand changing him and I'm his mom so I can just
>>>>>> imagine how
>>>>>> a sitter would feel. When there is a medical issue it's easy to
>>>>>> explain it
>>>>>> but, when there's such a gray area to what could be wrong it's not so
>>>>>> simple. I'm just plain discouraged and confused. I'm wondering if
>>>>>> it's time
>>>>>> to get a doctor involved or just wait it out and see if the slow
>>>>>> development is the problem. I'd hate to push the issue only to find
>>>>>> out
>>>>>> later that there was something wrong but, if it's just laziness on
>>>>>> his part
>>>>>> fd hat to let it go. He can't even get involved in group activities
>>>>>> yet
>>>>>> because he's not trained, it's down right embarrassing. You know it's
>>>>>> funny
>>>>>> that before I had kids of my own I swore I'd never have a child who
>>>>>> wasn't
>>>>>> trained by the time they were 2 and now look at us. For all the
>>>>>> parents who
>>>>>> struggle with or have struggled with this issue I apologize whole
>>>>>> heartedly. I realize now that you can't choose what life will bring
>>>>>> you all
>>>>>> you can do is work through it. Part of this is because with my eye
>>>>>> problems
>>>>>> as bad as they have been we decided for a short while to let training
>>>>>> go
>>>>>> because I am so limited in what I can do right now but, that lovely
>>>>>> issue
>>>>>> has been going on so long almost 2 years now that we can no longer
>>>>>> just
>>>>>> leave it alone. This past year has been a strange one for sure.
>>>>>> Also today we discovered that he seems to struggle with putting 2 and
>>>>>> 2
>>>>>> together. figuring out simple concepts so we wonder if that has
>>>>>> something
>>>>>> to do with potty training as well. We took him for a hearing test and
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> can hear fine however when asked to put blocks into a bucket whenever
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> heard a beep he couldn't do it for some reason. he wanted to and when
>>>>>> I did
>>>>>> it with him he did it fine but, when doing it himself he couldn't.
>>>>>> When the
>>>>>> doc asked him if he heard the beeps he said yes but, the blocks never
>>>>>> went
>>>>>> into the bucket. He knew he had to put them in the bucket and he knew
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> could hear the sounds but, he couldn't put the 2 things together
>>>>>> unless
>>>>>> some one was doing it with him which isn't a true test since he was
>>>>>> copying
>>>>>> me. Now he has to go back again in a few months. I would have thought
>>>>>> at
>>>>>> his age he'd have been able to figure out how the do this. I'm
>>>>>> wondering
>>>>>> what kids at his age should know how to do. average kids that is.
>>>>>> It's been
>>>>>> a long few months though I finally have a follow up appointment for
>>>>>> my eye
>>>>>> and am hoping they will finally tell me when they will get around to
>>>>>> removing it. About the babysitter thing also I'm concerned about
>>>>>> privacy.
>>>>>> He is older now and though he is not trained I not so sure about how
>>>>>> comfortable I am with babysitters changing him. Maybe I'm being
>>>>>> paranoid
>>>>>> but, he is my son and I want to protect him. We are very careful
>>>>>> about who
>>>>>> babysits but, some people have different boundaries then others He's
>>>>>> getting to an age where he needs to understand boundaries and that
>>>>>> hard to
>>>>>> do when everyone who looks after him has to change his butt. One of
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> only sitters we have due to his age that is willing does things that
>>>>>> make
>>>>>> me uncomfortable. She isn't intentionally doing wrong things and
>>>>>> nothing
>>>>>> alarming just concerning like the way she tickles him and things like
>>>>>> that.
>>>>>> She has little concept of proper boundaries and I'm not sure how to
>>>>>> deal
>>>>>> with this. She's the only sitter I've got yet I'm not so sure she's
>>>>>> good
>>>>>> for him. Don't get me wrong she not molesting him or anything like
>>>>>> that
>>>>>> she's too childlike herself for that but, she is too touchy feely and
>>>>>> clingy for my liking. Just so you are aware I'm a VERY private person
>>>>>> overly so, so some of this could be my own paranoia as well but, I'm
>>>>>> having
>>>>>> a hard time discerning this situation. I'm not willing to have my son
>>>>>> put
>>>>>> in harms way so I am really stomped on what to do here. I've
>>>>>> expressed this
>>>>>> to my husband and he isn't sure what to do either. She is 23 but,
>>>>>> seems to
>>>>>> act like a 14 year old. not very mature at all. any ideas sorry for
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> book it's been a while. I'll try to keep in touch better.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> --
>>>>>> Shannan Zinck
>>>>>> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>
>>>>>>
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>>>>>
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