[blparent] update on our lives.

[David Andrews]

Gabe:

Steve is not your Uncle (smile,) and I don't relish being the list 
Police.  If you would like to make a donation to the NFB, please feel 
free at any time -- but that is a separate matter and doesn't absolve 
you, or anyone else for responsibility for anything you say here.

You are obviously a  bright guy -- and a good, and loving, and caring 
parent from everything I see.  However, you and others keep getting 
in the middle of these situations.  I suspect some people don't stop 
and think about the implications of some of the things they say.

I was a Communications major in college (many years ago,) and one of 
the first things we learned was that it isn't what you said that 
matters -- but what people think you said.

At times we all need to step back and take a deep breath.  Thanks!

Dave

At 02:44 PM 1/31/2013, you wrote:
>I'm sorry, Uncle Steve, I really am. taking my employment in to 
>consideration, I should keep myself in better behavior. again, I 
>apologize and I should not act that way. Can I make a donation to 
>the NFB and we can forget all this happened?
>Gabe Vega
>CEO
>Commtech LLC
>Web: http://commtechusa.net
>FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>Email: info at commtechusa.net
>Phone: (623) 565-9357
>
>On Jan 31, 2013, at 1:30 PM, "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com> wrote:
>
> > Gabe and all,
> >
> > You've already apologized, but clearly this thread has nothing to 
> do with blind parenting.  Your implication that it is either SSI
> > or work is also incorrect.  It isn't your job to determine if 
> another list member is misrepresenting themselves, but if you are
> > concerned that they are doing something that might be 
> inappropriate, write to Dave or me.  If you are smart enough to run your own
> > business, you should not need Dave or me to point out when you 
> are no longer talking about parenting issues but we go through this
> > over and over again.  If you can't help yourself, try unplugging 
> your keyboard for a few hours.
> >
> > Some of the others here are also doing nothing to try to calm 
> things down.  If it is personal, take it up with the person off
> > list.  If you think something is off topic, write to Dave or 
> me.  I didn't look at this list for three hours and things blow up.
> > I am able to trust my teenagers alone for longer than 
> that.  Let's knock this off and attempt, if possible, to limit discussions
> > to blind parenting.  There is a reason this list has that 
> title.  It isn't meant to be a place where blind parents emulate the
> > less desireable bahaviors of kids.
> >
> > On Thu, 31 Jan 2013 12:17:53 -0700, Gabe Vega wrote:
> >
> >> now lets be honest here dear, you don't work.
> >> Gabe Vega
> >> CEO
> >> Commtech LLC
> >> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> >> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> >> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> >> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> >> Phone: (623) 565-9357
> >
> >> On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:13 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" 
> <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
> >
> >>> Of course not.  That's a stupid comment.  I work and raise my 
> daughter, I've changed plenty of nasty diapers and cleaned up my
> > body weight in barf. Shannon never said she denied her son 
> anything.  She just said it was unsavory, which I'm sure it is.  Most
> > people will deal with body fluids and solids as they have to, but 
> I don't know anybody who likes it.  And you can't say she's
> > complained about every little thing when she hasn't even posted for eons.
> >>>
> >>> Jo Elizabeth
> >>>
> >>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; 
> nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will
> > be round and full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> >>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
> >>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:58 AM
> >>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> >>>
> >>> not it at all. its just that those of us who live life, while 
> working and raising our kids, some times even as a single parent.
> > don't sit here and complain about the littlest things. there is 
> nothing wrong with changing your own kids no matter how big they
> > get. 2 months or 4 years. if they need changing and they can't do 
> it themselves, who are we as parents to deny them the help? so
> > if your daughter/son, threw up all over you when they had the 
> flue, would you get mad at them? make them clean up their own Barf?
> >>> Gabe Vega
> >>> CEO
> >>> Commtech LLC
> >>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> >>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> >>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> >>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> >>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
> >>>
> >>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 11:35 AM, "Dianna Alley" 
> <dianna24 at earthlink.net> wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> Well it is disgusting I mean we love our kids but as they get 
> older it gets harder to change and nastier that does not mean
> > she has an issue with her child or his body.  He should be 
> trained by now accept for maybe an accident or two.  I think some of
> > you all just like to find issue with people.
> >>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
> >>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> >>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:19 PM
> >>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>> I'll be honest, I kind of scratched my head in wonder about 
> that statement as well, about her not liking changing her son.
> > yes, I understand he's big, and yes I understand the potential 
> underlining issues, but, just weird to here a mother say that.
> > thats all.
> >>>>> Gabe Vega
> >>>>> CEO
> >>>>> Commtech LLC
> >>>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> >>>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> >>>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> >>>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> >>>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
> >>>>>
> >>>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 8:09 AM, "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" 
> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> Shannon,
> >>>>>> I'm concerned when you say you are disgusted by your son's 
> diapers. You're his mother and of all people his body shouldn't
> > disgust you.
> >>>>>> I get that you wish he'd be potty trained already.  I get 
> that he's probably produced some nasty poops. What I don't get is
> > continual disgust. I would understand if you said "Wow that 
> diaper sure was gross" or "that poop should go into the toxic waste
> > disposal system" but not continual disgust.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> I'm wondering if some of your disgust is due to other 
> issues, or if you haven't learned techniques to deal with his diapers
> > effectively.  You say your vision is very limited. I'm wondering 
> if you thought "My kid will be out of diapers, I don't need to
> > even think about how to change a diaper and not see while I do it".
> >>>>>> You have many other issues in your post. Your sitter needs 
> to go if she's not behaving appropriately. Don't excuse her
> > behavior.  Your son will learn boundaries, though his boundaries 
> may not be boundaries you like. That's ok, he's his own person.
> > Convey to him that he can always tell somebody to stop what they 
> are doing, and that you will always have his back.   You won't
> > convey this if you view his body as a disgusting thing that you 
> shouldn't have to deal with.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Jennifer Jackson
> >>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:10 AM
> >>>>>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> >>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> I think it is time to get a doctor involved. The toileting 
> thing by itself
> >>>>>> should be addressed because something is wrong. You can not 
> move forward
> >>>>>> with any kind of training or addressing it from an emotional or
> >>>>>> psychological stand point until you rule out some kind of 
> physical problem.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Please also talk to your doctor about getting a 
> developmental evaluation for
> >>>>>> your son. I know my youngest son's audiologist has been 
> using the blocks in
> >>>>>> the bucket with his testing since he was about two. I do not 
> want to worry
> >>>>>> you, but you should move forward on this right away. 
> Developmental problems
> >>>>>> are most easy to address with younger children.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> I do have a thought on making living with the current 
> toileting situation
> >>>>>> easier to live with though. Perhaps you could routinely 
> spend some time with
> >>>>>> him just sitting on the toilet several times a day. Maybe singing or
> >>>>>> listening to music to entertain him? If he goes in the 
> toilet that is an
> >>>>>> extra blessing because it is one less mess for someone else 
> to clean up. A
> >>>>>> little time learning to relax on the toilet may also encourage him to
> >>>>>> physically relax and be able to go. My thought is that 
> whatever the problem
> >>>>>> is that is keeping him from becoming trained, this kind of 
> routine will aid
> >>>>>> the situation. If you know what time he normally goes in his 
> pull up then
> >>>>>> try to do this around that same time with the idea of 
> perhaps preventing
> >>>>>> having to clean it yourself.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Jennifer
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Shannan
> >>>>>> Zinck
> >>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:50 PM
> >>>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> >>>>>> Subject: [blparent] update on our lives.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Hi all, it's been a long time. due to the condition with my 
> eye (which is
> >>>>>> still ongoing) I have had to really limit my computer time 
> as I use large
> >>>>>> print and not screen readers though if this goes on much 
> longer I may have
> >>>>>> to consider that possibility just to keep in touch. Anyway a couple
> >>>>>> questions.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> I'm wondering if anyone has struggled with a much older 
> child with potty
> >>>>>> training. Myles just turned 4 yesterday and is still not trained. We
> >>>>>> thought originally that he might just be stubborn but, now 
> I'm not so sure.
> >>>>>> Though he is strong willed he does listen pretty good to us. He can be
> >>>>>> playing along like nothing is happening and all of a sudden 
> he'll tell me
> >>>>>> he peed but, that's only when his pullup is full and I mean 
> leaking and
> >>>>>> running down his leg full. He can have several pees and not 
> even notice and
> >>>>>> same with BM's he doesn't stop for those either. He knows 
> how to use the
> >>>>>> toilet and even goes in by himself quite often but, really 
> it's hit and
> >>>>>> miss even with a half hourly schedule. He says he can't tell 
> if he needs to
> >>>>>> go or not and up until today I didn't believe him but, When he lies he
> >>>>>> changes his story constantly so he's easy to catch. He 
> maintains the same
> >>>>>> story when it comes to knowing when he needs to go or not and say he
> >>>>>> doesn't know. I never know when he's going in his pants and 
> he is a major
> >>>>>> people person so is in my space all the time so he is rarely 
> in a different
> >>>>>> room then either his father or myself. We've been working on 
> potty training
> >>>>>> for over 2 years now and recently even have been making him 
> change his own
> >>>>>> pullup when wet. We thought this tactic would encourage him 
> to try harder
> >>>>>> but no dice. # 2  he has never tried on the toilet and no 
> future prospect
> >>>>>> is in sight for that. I'm beginning to get quite concerned 
> given his age. I
> >>>>>> know physically he is a bit behind due to the drugs in his 
> system at birth
> >>>>>> but, not enough to cause concern. He always catches up. 
> However at his age
> >>>>>> we are getting to the place where babysitters are pretty 
> much impossible to
> >>>>>> get because he is huge to begin with and no one wants to 
> change a kid that
> >>>>>> age and size. He's 4 like I said and is over 3 feet tall 
> weighing well over
> >>>>>> 40lbs. I can't stand changing him and I'm his mom so I can 
> just imagine how
> >>>>>> a sitter would feel. When there is a medical issue it's easy 
> to explain it
> >>>>>> but, when there's such a gray area to what could be wrong it's not so
> >>>>>> simple. I'm just plain discouraged and confused. I'm 
> wondering if it's time
> >>>>>> to get a doctor involved or just wait it out and see if the slow
> >>>>>> development is the problem. I'd hate to push the issue only 
> to find out
> >>>>>> later that there was something wrong but, if it's just 
> laziness on his part
> >>>>>> fd hat to let it go. He can't even get involved in group 
> activities yet
> >>>>>> because he's not trained, it's down right embarrassing. You 
> know it's funny
> >>>>>> that before I had kids of my own I swore I'd never have a 
> child who wasn't
> >>>>>> trained by the time they were 2 and now look at us. For all 
> the parents who
> >>>>>> struggle with or have struggled with this issue I apologize whole
> >>>>>> heartedly. I realize now that you can't choose what life 
> will bring you all
> >>>>>> you can do is work through it. Part of this is because with 
> my eye problems
> >>>>>> as bad as they have been we decided for a short while to let 
> training go
> >>>>>> because I am so limited in what I can do right now but, that 
> lovely issue
> >>>>>> has been going on so long almost 2 years now that we can no 
> longer just
> >>>>>> leave it alone. This past year has been a strange one for sure.
> >>>>>> Also today we discovered that he seems to struggle with 
> putting 2 and 2
> >>>>>> together. figuring out simple concepts so we wonder if that 
> has something
> >>>>>> to do with potty training as well. We took him for a hearing 
> test and he
> >>>>>> can hear fine however when asked to put blocks into a bucket 
> whenever he
> >>>>>> heard a beep he couldn't do it for some reason. he wanted to 
> and when I did
> >>>>>> it with him he did it fine but, when doing it himself he 
> couldn't. When the
> >>>>>> doc asked him if he heard the beeps he said yes but, the 
> blocks never went
> >>>>>> into the bucket. He knew he had to put them in the bucket 
> and he knew he
> >>>>>> could hear the sounds but, he couldn't put the 2 things 
> together unless
> >>>>>> some one was doing it with him which isn't a true test since 
> he was copying
> >>>>>> me. Now he has to go back again in a few months. I would 
> have thought at
> >>>>>> his age he'd have been able to figure out how the do this. 
> I'm wondering
> >>>>>> what kids at his age should know how to do. average kids 
> that is. It's been
> >>>>>> a long few months though I finally have a follow up 
> appointment for my eye
> >>>>>> and am hoping they will finally tell me when they will get around to
> >>>>>> removing it. About the babysitter thing also I'm concerned 
> about privacy.
> >>>>>> He is older now and though he is not trained I not so sure about how
> >>>>>> comfortable I am with babysitters changing him. Maybe I'm 
> being paranoid
> >>>>>> but, he is my son and I want to protect him. We are very 
> careful about who
> >>>>>> babysits but, some people have different boundaries then others He's
> >>>>>> getting to an age where he needs to understand boundaries 
> and that hard to
> >>>>>> do when everyone who looks after him has to change his butt. 
> One of the
> >>>>>> only sitters we have due to his age that is willing does 
> things that make
> >>>>>> me uncomfortable. She isn't intentionally doing wrong things 
> and nothing
> >>>>>> alarming just concerning like the way she tickles him and 
> things like that.
> >>>>>> She has little concept of proper boundaries and I'm not sure 
> how to deal
> >>>>>> with this. She's the only sitter I've got yet I'm not so 
> sure she's good
> >>>>>> for him. Don't get me wrong she not molesting him or 
> anything like that
> >>>>>> she's too childlike herself for that but, she is too touchy feely and
> >>>>>> clingy for my liking. Just so you are aware I'm a VERY private person
> >>>>>> overly so, so some of this could be my own paranoia as well 
> but, I'm having
> >>>>>> a hard time discerning this situation. I'm not willing to 
> have my son put
> >>>>>> in harms way so I am really stomped on what to do here. I've 
> expressed this
> >>>>>> to my husband and he isn't sure what to do either. She is 23 
> but, seems to
> >>>>>> act like a 14 year old. not very mature at all. any ideas 
> sorry for the
> >>>>>> book it's been a while. I'll try to keep in touch better.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> --
> >>>>>> Shannan Zinck
> >>>>>> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!