[blparent] Seeking effective, yet positive ways to discipline children

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Hi.  Are you asking how a blind person can put across a stern look without 
making eye contact?  If so, I think it really comes down to vocal tone, or 
the words you choose  to use.  You don't have to raise your voice at all. 
You just have to mean what you say and say what you mean.  If one of your 
daughters demands ice cream this exact second, you tell her you'll get it 
for her in a moment.  If she pesters you, you remind her to wait.  If she 
keeps on bugging you, she doesn't get any for a little while, or maybe at 
all.  Easier said than done, God knows I've caved in or snapped at my 
daughter for nagging at me, and neither approach works.  What works is that 
she asks once and learns to wait.  Mine has learned that she asks, I take 
the container out and wait for the ice cream to soften enough that I can 
scoop it easily, and then she gets some.  No fuss.  If she dumped a potted 
plant out, she'd have a big mess to clean up, and I'd be pretty upset about 
her ruining something of mine.She'd have a lot of explaining to do.  Temper 
tantrums earn her time sitting on the stairs with nothing to look at or do. 
Consistency is key.  She's six.  Thinking things through before the moment 
of crisis is a good idea as well.  Best of luck.




Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Jennifer Bose via blparent
Sent: Thursday, July 31, 2014 10:23 PM
To: blparent
Subject: [blparent] Seeking effective,yet positive ways to discipline 
children

-- 
Hi, blind parents.

I hope this email finds you all well.

My husband and I are looking for effective ways to handle situations
when we're feeling challenged by our small children. We have two
daughters, one who's almost five and the other who turned two in
April. They're wonderful. I'd like to start a discussion about
suggestions for being effective as blind parents when we really need
them to stop challenging behaviors. I'm realizing how situational this
is, now that I'm writing it. My point is that without the benefit of
really being able to establish good eye contact all that well, we'd
like to let them know to stop a particular behavior (dumping the dirt
out of a plant pot, for example, or throwing a tantrum because they
can't have ice cream exactly when they want it). In moments when we're
not too stressed, it's easy to come up with solutions, such as
redirecting them or taking a milder approach: "uh-oh, you dumped all
that dirt out, so we'd better put it back to let the plant grow." What
other ways have you handled situations, without being able to resort
to scary looks? A nonverbal "stop" gesture with a hand plus saying the
word "stop" can also work, but what else? I'd rather not resort to
raising my voice, a method that seems verbally abusive to me most of
the time, unless the children's lives are in danger or something.

What do other people think?

Jen

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