[blparent] Seeking effective, yet positive ways to discipline children

[Kaila Allen]

We use the red light method a lot at our house when the kids need to stop doing something or stop running around I say red light and they all freeze. 
 We also have a saying at our house you get what you get a new don't throw a fit or  you get nothing at all. 
Another method I have found that works very well is having the child start taking deep breaths once they start to throw a fit. My son at age 4 and my daughter a six canal recognize when they're starting to get upset and will start taking breaths on their own. When I ask the kids to take deep breath I take them at the same time and it calms  everyone down. 
One of the most important things is positive reinforcement when they are doing good things rather than just focusing on the negative things
I hope this helps some have a wonderful day. 

Thank you, 

Princess Kaila

The true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.   Nelson G Henderson


> On Jul 31, 2014, at 10:52 PM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hi.  Are you asking how a blind person can put across a stern look without making eye contact?  If so, I think it really comes down to vocal tone, or the words you choose  to use.  You don't have to raise your voice at all. You just have to mean what you say and say what you mean.  If one of your daughters demands ice cream this exact second, you tell her you'll get it for her in a moment.  If she pesters you, you remind her to wait.  If she keeps on bugging you, she doesn't get any for a little while, or maybe at all.  Easier said than done, God knows I've caved in or snapped at my daughter for nagging at me, and neither approach works.  What works is that she asks once and learns to wait.  Mine has learned that she asks, I take the container out and wait for the ice cream to soften enough that I can scoop it easily, and then she gets some.  No fuss.  If she dumped a potted plant out, she'd have a big mess to clean up, and I'd be pretty upset about her ruining something of mine.She'd have a lot of explaining to do.  Temper tantrums earn her time sitting on the stairs with nothing to look at or do. Consistency is key.  She's six.  Thinking things through before the moment of crisis is a good idea as well.  Best of luck.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> -----Original Message----- From: Jennifer Bose via blparent
> Sent: Thursday, July 31, 2014 10:23 PM
> To: blparent
> Subject: [blparent] Seeking effective,yet positive ways to discipline children
> 
> -- 
> Hi, blind parents.
> 
> I hope this email finds you all well.
> 
> My husband and I are looking for effective ways to handle situations
> when we're feeling challenged by our small children. We have two
> daughters, one who's almost five and the other who turned two in
> April. They're wonderful. I'd like to start a discussion about
> suggestions for being effective as blind parents when we really need
> them to stop challenging behaviors. I'm realizing how situational this
> is, now that I'm writing it. My point is that without the benefit of
> really being able to establish good eye contact all that well, we'd
> like to let them know to stop a particular behavior (dumping the dirt
> out of a plant pot, for example, or throwing a tantrum because they
> can't have ice cream exactly when they want it). In moments when we're
> not too stressed, it's easy to come up with solutions, such as
> redirecting them or taking a milder approach: "uh-oh, you dumped all
> that dirt out, so we'd better put it back to let the plant grow." What
> other ways have you handled situations, without being able to resort
> to scary looks? A nonverbal "stop" gesture with a hand plus saying the
> word "stop" can also work, but what else? I'd rather not resort to
> raising my voice, a method that seems verbally abusive to me most of
> the time, unless the children's lives are in danger or something.
> 
> What do other people think?
> 
> Jen
> 
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