[blparent] blindparent RE3 kids being SNEAKY

[sheila]

oh yes, when Mark was little,my folks came about every two weeks like 
clockwork. I felt like I was under a microscope. I finally told Mom that 
it wasn't fu when they came and it really stressed me out I filt that 
nothing I did was good enough.They mean well but it can be painful.
On 1/7/2014 3:37 PM, dawn stumpner wrote:
> Hi, Jo Elizabeth and Everyone,
>
>     Yes, there have been a few times that my sons throughout the years 
> have used the fact that I couldn't see to try to get away with small 
> things, for example, trying to leave the house with their hair a mess 
> or high water pants on their way to school or pushing a bunch of stuff 
> under the bed when cleaning their rooms thinking that I wouldn't 
> check.  Most of the time, I figure out what they are doing, and we've 
> talked about how sneaking, whether it be getting around my lack of 
> vision or sneaking in any other way, is a form of dishonesty, is 
> hurtful, and lessens trust.  I think this message has gotten through, 
> and the kids don't do any more sneaking than I've heard of my sighted 
> peers talking about their kids doing or remember my brother, my 
> cousins, and me doing with our parents.  I feel I've done a good job 
> over all in imparting the lessons I would like my kids to carry 
> through life with them.  They are loving, curious about the world 
> around them, generous, and for the most part cooperative and able to 
> put themselves in other people's shoes.
>    What bothers me sometimes is my dad's reaction to my lack of 
> sight.  On the one hand, he was very supportive of me as I grew up, 
> including letting me do things like travel overseas that he wasn't 
> always comfortable with.  On the other hand, perhaps because he is of 
> an older generation, I'm a woman, I'm divorced, and I'm blind, he 
> sometimes acts more like the primary parent when he visits than just a 
> grandpa.  I have mentioned to him that he yells at my kids for things 
> that he doesn't yell at my brother's daughters for, and he responds  
> that my nieces have two sighted parents, and that he feels like he has 
> to correct my boys because I can't always see what they do and my 
> husband isn't there now and wasn't on top of things before the 
> divorce.  Each thing that the boys don't do thoroughly, such as 
> leaving their dishes on the table, needing to be told to clean their 
> rooms again and again, or having to be told to shovel the driveway 
> more thoroughly seems to him to be because I can't see what kind of a 
> job they have done. My sighted friends deal with the same issues as me 
> needing to tell their kids to do a job twice because it wasn't done 
> well the first time, etc., but although he says that I do a good job 
> and can do things as well as other people, other things he says make 
> me feel like what I'm doing isn't enough and is somehow inferior to 
> what I would be able to do if I could see and that the kids would not 
> try to get away with anything if I could see.
>     Sorry for the long message.  Your email just made me think of some 
> of these related issues for me, and it's hard for me to be concise 
> about them.  Have any of you ever had difficulty with family members 
> or friends thinking that what you do is either amazing when it's just 
> ordinary or that any difficulties you have are because of lack of 
> sight and that they need to be there to make sure everything turns out 
> okay?
>
> Dawn
>
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