[blparent] blparent re: school lockdown drill

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Thanks.  I like the mantra idea especially, and the thought of earning a 
privilege for not going to the health office.  I'll have to do some thinking 
on these.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: dawn stumpner
Sent: Sunday, January 12, 2014 1:29 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] blparent re: school lockdown drill

Hi, Jo Elizabeth
     I'm sorry you're having such a stressful week! It sounds to
me like you're doing everything you can to reassure your
daughter, but the school has had a hard time being helpful in the
reassurance process.  I don't think your being paranoid about
wanting to keep the school counselor out of it.  It doesn't sound
like an issue that needs a school counselor/social worker, but
rather just something to get the teacher and health aide on the
same page with you so you have a unified response.  They should
definitely let you know in advance next time there is such a
drill so that you can prepare accordingly.  I'm sure lots of kids
this age and even older ones get upset about different aspects of
these drills.  Kids being kids will also sometimes worry about
their parents or other people, whether they are blind or not.  It
can also just be that mommy is home alone, and the worry could
easily happen if you had 20-20 vision, too.  Counselors sometimes
focus on the wrong things, and society in general has
misconceptions and doubts about what blind people can do, and as
was mentioned in other letters people wrote, adults sometimes
even think that little kids with sight are helping their parents
get places, rather than understanding that the parent is in
charge even if he/she can't see and is taking the child to these
places.
     When some time has gone by and the drill is not so fresh in
her mind, things should calm down, but if she's still upset in
the short term, maybe you can try to make a plan with her about
what she can do when she's at school and starting to worry
instead of going to the health office.  Not to sound hokey, but
maybe even a little rhyme or mantra that you can make up for her
to say that will remind her that you were safe every day before
this drill and you are still safe now.  Maybe there's a comfort
object she could wear that wouldn't be counted as something like
the ornament she's bringing to school, like a ring or a
friendship bracelet or something like that.  Maybe some
short-term positive reinforcement like earning a privilege for
making it through the day without going to the health office.
But try to get the teacher and health aide on the same page and
for them to understand that this is not an issue of blindness but
an issue of fear being brought out by a drill.
   Take care, and try not to get too stressed.  Have a good week!
   Dawn Stumpner

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