[blparent] blparent re: school lockdown drill

[dawn stumpner]

Hi, Jo Elizabeth
     I'm sorry you're having such a stressful week! It sounds to 
me like you're doing everything you can to reassure your 
daughter, but the school has had a hard time being helpful in the 
reassurance process.  I don't think your being paranoid about 
wanting to keep the school counselor out of it.  It doesn't sound 
like an issue that needs a school counselor/social worker, but 
rather just something to get the teacher and health aide on the 
same page with you so you have a unified response.  They should 
definitely let you know in advance next time there is such a 
drill so that you can prepare accordingly.  I'm sure lots of kids 
this age and even older ones get upset about different aspects of 
these drills.  Kids being kids will also sometimes worry about 
their parents or other people, whether they are blind or not.  It 
can also just be that mommy is home alone, and the worry could 
easily happen if you had 20-20 vision, too.  Counselors sometimes 
focus on the wrong things, and society in general has 
misconceptions and doubts about what blind people can do, and as 
was mentioned in other letters people wrote, adults sometimes 
even think that little kids with sight are helping their parents 
get places, rather than understanding that the parent is in 
charge even if he/she can't see and is taking the child to these 
places.
     When some time has gone by and the drill is not so fresh in 
her mind, things should calm down, but if she's still upset in 
the short term, maybe you can try to make a plan with her about 
what she can do when she's at school and starting to worry 
instead of going to the health office.  Not to sound hokey, but 
maybe even a little rhyme or mantra that you can make up for her 
to say that will remind her that you were safe every day before 
this drill and you are still safe now.  Maybe there's a comfort 
object she could wear that wouldn't be counted as something like 
the ornament she's bringing to school, like a ring or a 
friendship bracelet or something like that.  Maybe some 
short-term positive reinforcement like earning a privilege for 
making it through the day without going to the health office.  
But try to get the teacher and health aide on the same page and 
for them to understand that this is not an issue of blindness but 
an issue of fear being brought out by a drill.
   Take care, and try not to get too stressed.  Have a good week!
   Dawn Stumpner