[blparent] Baby on the Way! Now, Where to Live?

[Briley O'Connor]

I forgot to mention, just for your reference, we pay our driver $10 an hour plus $.57 per mile.  For our particular needs, we use them approximately 10 to 15 hours a week. It really depends, but it is somewhere in the neighborhood of about $200 a month. That sounds like a lot, but considering we do not have a car payment for car insurance, it is really a steal. Being independent does not always mean meeting access to public transportation.  It is more about what independence looks like for you. 

Sent from my iPhone

> On Jul 23, 2015, at 9:01 PM, Judy Jones via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I can't say enough about the ability to get where you want to go, when you need to go, whether you take a vehicle or walk, as long as you can conveniently get where you want to go.  I can speak to this, as my husband and I, too, are both blind.
> 
> And this need for freedom of mobility is even more important when you do have kids.
> 
> The house might be a really good thing, give you room to grow, and a quieter place of your own.  But:  the one bus stop.  is it easily get tooable?  Does it run often enough so you can take it when you need it and does it connect to most of the places you know and frequent.  What you don't want is to become a prisoner in a beautiful ideal castle.
> 
> You will want to be within easy walking distance of stores and schools, and to make sure you can get to a doctor's office as you need it.  Imagine yourself being the independent parent you need to be and should be, taking your child where they need to be and when they need to be there, and think through how you will get that done.  Granted, it is nice when the kiddos can get rides from other sighted parents, but do not depend on that.  Always have an independent backup, otherwise you will be at the mercy of someone else's schedule.
> 
> You'll find it easier to maybe live in a smaller place but with great transportation, which can give you the mobility you want.  If your suburban house has good transportation options, go for it, at least check it out. Ask about the neighborhood if you haven't already done so.  If you are buying, you will have to envision the big picture, years down the road, will the area stay quiet, or are they about to make your street a main artery with busy traffic?
> 
> About modes of travel with Baby.  Whatever is the easiest and cost effective for you.  Take cues from your baby.  If a noisy bus bothers them, maybe at first, a cab would be easy.  However, there are babies that do just fine with noise, while others get over-stimulated and upset.
> 
> How long of a walk is too long?  Take the cues from your child.  Start out with short walks, then you can always lengthen them.
> 
> I had to chuckle at your question about juggling baby and cane on stairs, making one crazy.  When all is said and done, you will be amazed at what you manage to juggle, how you do it.  These are things you grow into, just as your baby is growing, along with your relationship.  You will end up juggling much more and definitely in crazy situations, but more than likely love every minute of it, because it's really all about your child.
> 
> Revisiting the house thing again.  If you are renting, you may or may not plan to stay in that house for very long if you plan to buy in future.  But if you are buying, you will definitely want to imagine yourselves living in the area for years, seeing your child grow up there, know what you can walk to and how you can get there.  Pay close attention to the intersections you will have to cross and do a walk-through before making an offer.
> 
> A nightmare scenario that happened to us, and this was before kids.  My husband and I worked in Orlando, and we found the perfect house, perfect price, in Winter Park.  We had driven around the neighborhood with our realtor, and she had explained we were close to a bus stop at a lighted intersection.  There was also a convenience store there at that intersection, and she said there was a double set of lights, but they were regular traffic lights.  We should have caught on then what we were getting into, but we didn't.
> 
> We decided to put an offer, it was accepted, and she drove us over to the house the evening before the closing to answer a few of our last minute questions.
> 
> We decided to actually walk through the intersection where we would need to catch our bus.  Horror of horrors, the intersection had a double set of lights, because it is offset.  In other words, you would start to cross at one corner but needed to jog left several yards to reach the opposite corner.  In the middle of this so-called jog on the other side of the street is the convenience store parking lot.  So:  We would have no way to know if we were dealing with parallel traffic or cross traffic since the oncoming parallel traffic would have to pass in front of us to continue, let alone the traffic pulling out of the store parking lot.
> 
> We could not think our way out of this one, and was super frustrating to have good mobility, yet be unable to navigate intersections because of stupid geography and bad city planning, as far as I was concerned.
> 
> We ended the evening deciding we could not close on the house.  The realtor understood our needs, and fortunately, so did the seller.  We had already given notice at our apartment, and was very embarrassing to ask for it back, fortunately we were able to get it.  That was a rough couple days, not sure if we had any place to go, and were checking with friends to see if we could camp out until we found a place.
> 
> Moral of the story, walk it through, literally, before you make a commitment.
> 
> My husband and I have bought and sold, now, four houses, and never did that scenario come up again.
> 
> Best wishes, and keep us informed.
> 
> Judy, whose girls are now 29 and 25.
> 
> -----Original Message----- From: Allison via blparent
> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 5:30 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Cc: Allison
> Subject: [blparent] Baby on the Way! Now, Where to Live?
> 
> Hi Everyone,
> 
> First a quick intro since, while I've been reading this list for a while, I haven't posted much yet. I did write a couple of times about ovulation kits and pregnancy tests a while back. I'm happy to say that our attempts with ovulation kits were a success, and my fiance and I are expecting our first child this January! We're really excited!
> 
> My fiance, Darrell,  and I are both blind and currently live in the Phoenix area. We have an apartment with a lease that will be up in September, and we're trying to decide where we want to live next. What we're finding so far is that, most of the houses that we can afford, are further from public transportation than we're used to. We love our current location, but we are looking for more space for when baby arrives. We went house-hunting last weekend, found one house that had a lot of space, a yard, was in our price range, and It was near one bus stop... sorta. We almost made an offer, but Darrell and I came to a hard realization. We're not sure we're quite ready to give up our urban lifestyle in order to become suburban home-owners just yet. We're willing to do it if it turns out best for raising a family, yet we're not sure if that's really necessary.
> 
> So I'm coming to this list to learn from your collective experience as blind parents. What did you find was and was not really important when choosing a place to live with very young children? As a first time parent, I realize that I don't know what I'll need in terms of location. It's entirely possible that, the things I think are important in a location, aren't at all necessary, and there may be other truly important considerations that haven't even crossed my mind yet. So here are some questions that I'd like to bounce off of you guys...
> 
> When you had babies or small children, did you find that you rode buses or light rails often? Was it more convenient to take cabs, paratransit, or hired drivers over other transit options? What is too long of a walk with a small child? Is a back yard a must, or is it more important to live near a park/playground? How helpful is it to be in walking or bus distance of restaurants, stores, or doctor offices? Will climbing stairs while juggling a cane, baby, and accessories eventually make us crazy? What of schools? Should I be factoring in proximity to schools if our baby isn't even born yet? What other factors am I not considering but are important?
> 
> Knowing others' experiences will likely be helpful to us when deciding what location may work best for our family. Any feedback or suggestions from you all are appreciated!
> 
> Thanks,
> Allison, Darrell, and Baby
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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