[blparent] In Over My Head,, toddlers

Tue Jun 2 14:20:59 UTC 2015

With the teeth brushing, I have heard of some people doing it in the bathtub. We do it right before bed. He gets his bath and pajamas on, and stands in front of his sink and I brush his teeth. After he lets me brush his teeth really good, or as good as I can I give him a toothbrush to let him do it himself. It sounds like you have it covered going out every day. Even if it's just for a walk, the fresh air is nice. 
I have played peekaboo with my son ever since he was very little. He is almost 3 and we still play it. Sometimes when he was very little and in his highchair, I would hide down at the side of the highchair and pop up and say peekaboo! We still cover our faces with our hands and pulled him away. He thinks it is the funniest thing! We do games like clap clap, you clap twice. Then drum drum, you drum on your lap two times. Then we do tap tap and tap the top of our mouth with our tongue. Even if he claps more than two times or gets the order wrong, it's still a lot of fun. He loves to put on music and dance. One of his favorites is the gummy bear song. 
I hope this helps,
Shelby

Sent from my iPhone

> On Jun 2, 2015, at 6:59 AM, Judy Jones via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I love this message.
> 
> Judy
> 
> 
> -----Original Message----- From: Star Gazer via blparent
> Sent: Tuesday, June 2, 2015 5:43 AM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Cc: Star Gazer
> Subject: Re: [blparent] In Over My Head,, toddlers
> 
> Judy has offered you some great tips.
> Now to add mine.
> First, when you say your husband works long hours, do you mean he isn't
> providing you with any emotional support? Obviously, he needs to work, but
> "working long hours" is often code for "I don't want to be with my family".
> If he is working long hours, he'd better be raking in the dough to support
> his lack of presence so that you can hire whatever help you need/want.
> When he's home, be happy to see him, but don't be overly tolerant of his
> absence. He needs to be home with you on weekends and evenings. If he isn't,
> figure out why.
> I say this because not having the emotional support of a spouse can suck the
> life right out of you. Last weekend my husband and I were watching Mad Men,
> and we happened to be watching the episode with the Moon landing. Our
> youngest daughter was in bed but woke up during the episode and was crying.
> I went to go get her and I told her "We can't go cry cry when we're watching
> the Moon landing". If my husband hadn't been watching the episode with me
> and wasn't engaged in the family, my daughter needing something would have
> probably seemed like one more thing to do.
> Second, do you get out of the house with your daughter? You need to do that
> in whatever way is easiest for you. You need to understand that you can and
> should do this. If your husband doesn't "get" this (and many men don't,
> leave him with the baby and take the carseat with you, thereby removing his
> ability to go out with the baby. He'll change his tune real quick.
> Last, don't worry about interacting with your daughter the way a sighted
> person would. There is a tabla drummer Zakir Hussain who has played with The
> Grateful Dead and The Beatles. He said that he wanted to be a rock drummer
> and when he met Ringo Starr of the Beatles, he told him that he wish he was
> a rock drummer. Ringo told him "I have a thousand rock drummers I can call
> right now, but I only have one tabla drummer and that's you".
> The point, there's only one of you so just be you.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy Jones
> via blparent
> Sent: Monday, June 1, 2015 11:11 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Judy Jones
> Subject: Re: [blparent] In Over My Head,, toddlers
> 
> Hi, Jessica,
> 
> This stage has been generally called "The Terrible 2s" for a reason.
> Granted, she is not 2, but all moms, sighted or blind have their hands full.
> 
> Keep in mind that when you look at a lifetime, this stage is very short and
> you will definitely get through it.  You'll find that as your child is
> growing, you will be called upon constantly to problem solve, so place
> yourself in the solution mode, not the problem mode.  In other words, focus
> on solutions.
> 
> Remember that she is no longer the baby to care for, but is developing a
> personality of her own and learning and growing, and she will continue to do
> so, just know you are leaving babyhood, but is okay to feel stressed
> sometimes, and know these times are going to have more fun associated with
> them than stress.  Focus on enjoying her as stress free as possible, and
> allow your communication with her to grow, just as she is growing.
> 
> Teeth brushing, like any habit comes with a lifetime of training, and it
> won't be done perfectly for a while.  I think the biggest thing is to
> introduce it, then when she is stressing, forget it until the next day, then
> try again.  Introduce it bit by bit, and she will gradually come to
> understand this is a daily habit.  But by that time, she will grow into a
> better understanding.  With any things you are trying to train her in, once
> you notice a stress level, drop it until the next day or time.  Training
> comes gradually, and the most important thing is to experience as little
> stress as possible.
> 
> For going out and about, we always used to use the hand holder for walking
> toddlers, which is two wrist straps, one for mom and one for toddler,
> connected with a coily cord, like that of a telephone cord.  This allows her
> freedom to bounce, jump, and body motion, yet staying attached to you.  You
> can reel her in in an area where she needs to be more closely supervised.
> 
> For non-walking, try a frame pack.  Our girls loved their packs and were
> quite content to ride along.
> 
> One thing we used to do is to have the girls take our hands to show us what
> they wanted.  A very common phrase was "Show me with my hand."  If they were
> trying to point, and we couldn't see where, we would have them take our
> finger in their fist, then we would revolve in a slow arc, and they would
> pull on our arm as we zeroed in on what they were pointing at.  Of course we
> did this with giggles and noises, so it was like a game, but they were able
> to communicate what they saw.
> 
> Being a blind parent in an unfamiliar area takes a lot of legwork.
> 
> The whininess could be for a lot of reasons.  Maybe she is reacting to your
> recent move, but if this is the case, she will settle once she feels secure.
> 
> We moved when our eldest daughter had just potty trained, but she reverted
> to diapers for a while.  That was okay, though, and this phase didn't last
> for long.
> 
> I get the feeling you are so stressed, you may not be relaxed enough to
> really enjoy her, if I am wrong, you are welcome to correct me, but the more
> relaxed you are with your mind off the problems, the more energy you can
> spend tuning into her and the environment, and having fun.
> 
> Keep your mind on the big picture.  If you consider 20 years raising a
> child, that is less than a third of your life.  Try to keep your mind on the
> big picture, focus on the important relationship-building issues and enjoy
> her.
> 
> 
> Judy
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jessica Reed via blparent
> Sent: Monday, June 1, 2015 6:30 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Cc: Jessica Reed
> Subject: [blparent] In Over My Head,, toddlers
> 
> Fellow blind parents,
> 
> 
> 
> I really don't post very often, so I probably should introduce myself a
> little.  I am a 31-year-old stay-at-home mother of a 14-month-old toddler,
> Lila.  My husband is sighted, but works a significant amount of time.  We
> live in a bedroom community in between our nation's capital and Richmond,
> Virginia.
> 
> 
> 
> If I am honest, I feel like I am drowning in this new stage of toddlerhood.
> First, any suggestions on brushing a toddler's teeth?  I tried for the first
> time last night, and it was a complete stressful disaster!  My usually
> congenial child was screaming and wrestling to get out of my grasp.  Tonight
> I used a regular toothbrush, not the figure kind, and a different baby tooth
> paste.  It went a lot better.  There were no tears or wrestling match,
> though I really doubt her teeth got clean at all.  Any specific feedback and
> suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> 
> 
> Second, how do you do it?  She is not quite walking, but practically, and
> already all over the place.  In the last two weeks she has all of the sudden
> become so winey, but only with me.  I have heard this is normal, since I am
> her mother, but so often she is just driving me crazy!  Please don't
> criticize me for that statement, I beg you.  I love my daughter more than
> life itself, and to admit that makes me feel like a horrible human being.
> We have recently moved into a bigger home.  Lila has a child safe play room
> full of toys.  We also get out at least once a day.  I take her to play
> groups, the library story time, the playground, and any where I can think
> of. I have hired babysitters that come to give me a break.  Again, I feel so
> horrible for feeling so frustrated and depressed as I do.
> 
> 
> 
> Lastly, how do you best interact with children at the walking, but preverbal
> stage?  There are times where I think she is trying to communicate and I
> feel like I am missing out on so much.  I can't interact with her the way
> sighted folks seem to.
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you for reading.  I really hope any of your suggestions and past or
> present stories will help me threw.  Again, I love Lila more than life
> itself, but just feel. Have any of you ever felt this way?  I want the very
> best for my daughter and can't help but feel like I am failing daily.
> 
> 
> 
> Jessica
> 
> 
> 
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