[blparent] How do you start to explain people'sunfoundedfears to your children?

Mon Mar 16 16:40:56 UTC 2015

My daughter still at least half believes that there are working eyes in the 
back of my head, even if the ones in the front are non-functional.  I told 
her that, sort of as a joke, years ago, and she took it seriously.  Some 
commercial for something she wants will come on TV, or she'll be doing 
something special, and she'll say, "Mom, watch."  I'll remind her that I 
can't see, and she'll get this exasperated tone and say, 'Well, look with 
your back eyes."

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Robert Shelton via blparent
Sent: Monday, March 16, 2015 8:22 AM
To: Wendy Meuse
Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you start to explain people'sunfoundedfears 
to your children?

I like to say that my ears are like eyes that cam see through walls and 
around corners. Also, one of the best tips that kids are into mischief is 
when they get really quiet.

Sent from my iPhone

On Mar 15, 2015, at 1:04 PM, "Wendy Meuse" <w_meuse at telus.net> wrote:

> I sure do agree with this.  I know it has been a long time for me, but I 
> faced this issue also.  There was a little boy who appeared
> at my door and asked if he could come play with my little girl.  He 
> explained that he had seen me playing with her in our yard and
> he wanted a playmate.  He lived a few doors down from us and we had just 
> moved to our trailer about two weeks before so we were new.
> I told him, why don't you go and ask your mom if she would like to come 
> over and have a coffee with me while you and Grace play.
> Peggy, Robert's mother took me up on it and we became very close.  While 
> we were having coffee she asked me if she could ask some
> questions.  I told her absolutely.  She asked if it would bother me to ask 
> me about being blind and I told her no.  I asked her, how
> can you find anything out unless you ask.  She asked me about how I did 
> things day to day such as cooking and cleaning.  She also
> wanted to know how I could tell what Grace was doing so that she could be 
> safe.  I told her a lot about me just keeping my ears open
> and you can tell a lot about what is going on just by listening.  As it 
> happened, I heard the kids playing in the bathroom and
> splashing water all over.  Peggy was there when I exclaimed, What are you 
> kids doing in there?  Grace you know that the bathroom
> isn't for playing in.  Clean up any water you have splashed and get out of 
> there unless you go in to use the washroom.  They came
> out and Robert asked, how did you know?  You can't see.  Peggy then found 
> out just how I could no what was going on without seeing
> ehehehehehehe!  As we got to know each other she saw different things 
> happen to let her knowthat I knew what was going on at all
> times.  At first we went to the park or shopping or whatever together but 
> she finally relaxed and let me take Robert with her when I
> took Grace on outings.  She was a bit nervous at first but she relaxed and 
> finally told me that she thought that Robert was safer
> with me then with some sighted people she could think of.  That felt like 
> a real victory to me and Peggy spread the word.  Before I
> knew it, I was babysitting four children after school.  That was lots of 
> fun.  I had Shannon who was eight, Amy was six, Robert was
> four and Grace was three.  Gee!  I am sorry guys.  I didn't mean to write 
> a novel.  Jo Elizabeth, I know how you feel.  It will just
> take some patients.  We are the ones who always have to make the first 
> steps.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Sharon Howerton via blparent" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> To: "'Star Gazer'" <pickrellrebecca at gmail.com>; "'Blind Parents Mailing 
> List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, March 15, 2015 8:46 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you start to explain people's 
> unfoundedfears to your children?
>
>
> Jo Elizabeth, this is certainly an interesting thread and I appreciate the 
> input. I re-read your post about the mom's job. Just
> because a person works in the special ed field doesn't mean they know 
> anything about the day to day or, as I think it was Judy said,
> she may be used to kids with more special needs and would not see any of 
> them as parents. You might start by inviting this child or
> other of Sarah's friends to your house to play with her, get to know the 
> parents as they drop them off and/or pick them up and then
> expand your play environment with them once you know them, they know you 
> and the parents do as well.
>
> Trust me, as our kids grow, it doesn't get any easier. There are still 
> issues. They change all the time even when our children are
> grown and adults.
> Sharon
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star 
> Gazer via blparent
> Sent: Sunday, March 15, 2015 9:12 AM
> To: 'Judy Jones'; 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you start to explain people's unfounded 
> fears toyour children?
>
> That was my take too. He may not be as manageable as you'd think.
> Does the dad know you? If not and your kids are friends, I'd start there.
> Also, it's not as odd as you think given the mom's job. Very likely, she's 
> never encountered an adult with whatever disability she
> works with, so all she sees, all she's capable of seeing are children who 
> need more then the average bear.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy 
> Jones via blparent
> Sent: Saturday, March 14, 2015 10:27 PM
> To: Jo Elizabeth Pinto; Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you start to explain people's unfounded 
> fears toyour children?
>
> Hi again from Judy.
>
> Another aspect I thought about.  Is this little boy manageable in a public 
> situation.  For instance, if you and your girl are at the
> park, will he be as obedient as she is, or is he one of those kids who is 
> harder to manage because of lack of discipline?
>
> Judy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent
> Sent: Saturday, March 14, 2015 6:14 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] How do you start to explain people's unfounded fears 
> toyour children?
>
> My sighted daughter just turned seven years old a few weeks ago.  Hard to 
> believe.  Anyway, webre having one of the first really
> beautiful sunny spring days, so she asked me to take her to a nearby park. 
> She invited a neighbor boy her age to come.  His parents
> said no, there had to be an adult along.  She told his parents her mom 
> would be taking them.  The dad said no, he meant an adult who
> could see.  She came home really confused, of course.
> She said we go to the park all the time, which we do.  So I tried to 
> explain that some parents donbt feel that their kids will be
> safe supervised by a blind adult.  Her next natural question was why.  I 
> told her some parents worry that their kids will get hurt
> if no one is watching them.  Her answer was that webve been to the park 
> millions of times and she hasnbt gotten hurt.  Also true.
> Shebs a smart girl.  I told her some parents havenbt ben around blind 
> people much.  The odd thing is, the neighbor boybs mom is
> one of the higher-ups in the special ed department with the local school 
> district.  So Ibm just wondering, is there anything in
> particular you have said to your kids that has helped make sense of 
> nonsense?
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be
> round and full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
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