[blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Frankly, Amanda, you seem to be looking for perfection.  Life is what you 
make it, wherever you go.  You have to take the good with the bad, make the 
most of what you want and learn to step around what you don't like and leave 
it behind you.  There's an awful lot in the world you don't have control of, 
so control what you can and let the rest roll off.

There are churches everywhere, so avoid them or join them.  There are people 
with kids everywhere you go, so meet them.  There are conservatives, 
liberals, moderates, Democrats, Republicans, blind people, sighted people, 
yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, blah, everywhere--get past it.  There's crime 
everywhere, so deal with it.  Get a home, be as safe as you can.  Install 
safety features, ask someone from the local police department to come over 
and check out your place; they'll do it for free.  Not only will you know 
your home is safe or learn how to make it so, but you'll be getting yourself 
acquainted with local law enforcement.  It's good to let the boys in blue 
know you're there.

As far as the legalization of drugs goes, you're not really going to get 
away from that issue.  Okay, maybe you can dodge the pot shops on the street 
corners for a little while if you stay out of Colorado and Washington, but 
there's a bill in Congress right now suggesting that the Federal government 
drop all enforcement against anything to do with medical marijuana.  Not 
recreational, just medical.  Still, it's on the way.  Legalization is 
spreading like wildfire.  And, as someone who lives and travels in Denver, 
where the dreaded pot shops are, I can say that they have never once caused 
me a lick of trouble.  I travel, I raise my kid, I mind my own business. 
I've never been attacked by crazy stoners.  I've never been ambushed by 
potheads.  The crime rate hasn't skyrocketed because of recreational 
marijuana; the shops are very securely run.  You're allowed your criteria; 
I'm not judging you.  I'm just saying, we made marijuana legal here in 
Colorado, and the sky didn't fall.  You seem to not want people to judge you 
for being blind or a single mom, but you sound very judgmental against 
"potheads" and "smokers."

Open-mindedness toward the blind.  Hmmm.  Now that's something we all look 
for, everywhere.  It's something we're glad when we find, frustrated when we 
don't, on a personal level, day-to-day, hour to hour.  It doesn't matter 
where you go, Amanda, you'll be blessed with people who are open-minded and 
cursed with those who are not, year in and year out.  North, south, east, or 
west--good luck.

University--that's a good criterion.  The financial stuff, okay, makes 
sense.  Weather--again, you're looking for paradise.  I'm not sure there's a 
place on the map that doesn't have some kind of extreme weather or another. 
Here in Colorado, it's thunderstorms and tornadoes.  The tornadoes don't 
happen that often, so we learn to stay safe and not think about them too 
much.  We teach our kids to watch the skies and take cover in interior rooms 
with hard-backed books over their heads if the sirens go off, and to get 
their butts out of open fields and swimming pools if they see lightning. 
Out west, it's earthquakes.  Down south, it's flash floods, in the southeast 
it's hurricanes, and up north they get  blizzards.  Pick your poison.

And you want this place to be final, because you aren't moving again? 
Honey, life doesn't work that way.  I'm about to turn forty-four next week. 
Now, that doesn't make me a geezer by a long shot, but I have learned a few 
things.  When I bought this condo in 2007, I had visions of moving in here, 
putting down roots, and living here till they carried me out in a body bag. 
Creepy, right?  The day after I put down earnest money--the money you pay 
and can't get back--I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.  Okay, 
well, the condo had two bedrooms; I just wouldn't have the home office I had 
envisioned.  Workable.  But then through a knotted mess of circumstances, it 
was decided that her dad would move in with me.  Cramped, but sort of 
workable.  Well, then her dad had a son who wanted to visit sometimes, and 
her dad needed a place to bring work home, and she got older and wanted a 
cat, and she got even older and wanted a fish tank, and ... and ... and the 
upshot is, now that I'm not underwater on the mortgage for the first time 
since 2007, I'm looking for a larger house.  So you never know what life 
will throw at you.  I'm just telling you this to say that--don't kid 
yourself into thinking at thirty-one years old with a four-year-old son that 
you can plan your life out and decide what city you will live in forever 
based on your research about the political climate and whether the smokers 
are respectful or not.  Life doesn't work that way.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Amanda Matheny via blparent
Sent: Friday, May 15, 2015 10:12 AM
To: blparent
Cc: Amanda Matheny
Subject: [blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility

Hello,

I had joined this list before, but left when things got very hectic
and I needed to reduce my list mail. I am back now and I have a
question, but first I will briefly introduce myself.

My name is Amanda. I will be 31 in a month and a half and I have a
4-year-old son. I am a single mom. We're currently living in Texas,
but I don't feel like this is where I belong and am planning to move
after I finish my Bachelor's degree. I was originally planning to move
to Portland, Oregon, and may still, but there are some problems with
Portland that are forcing me to reconsider my plans. Speaking of
which, that is the other part of this email.

At present, I have three possible options, though there are advantages
and disadvantages to all three. Let me describe myself and what I am
looking for in a place, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of
my current options, and if you think you know a place that fits the
bill, please suggest it and why you think it fits. I will then
research all the options in an effort to make a good decision for
myself and my son.

I am not religious. I consider myself agnostic. I am visually impaired
and my son is fully sighted. Both socially and politically I am middle
of the road. I'm direct middle of the road politically, neither
republican nor democrat. Socially I am leaning slightly liberal. I
like to tease that I am too liberal for Texas, but quite likely too
conservative for Portland, which is very liberal. I love the outdoors
and I have a good independence level. I prefer to do things without
assistance whenever possible. I am a Special Education major. Here are
some basic criteria I want in a city to move to. I don't expect any
city to meet these perfectly, but it should do so as closely as
possible.

1. I'd like to have friends there. Of course there are lots of places
I don't have friends, but if I don't have them already, it should be
pretty easy to meet and connect with other people, including those who
have kids in my son's age range because I'll need to make friends for
both of us. Of course a city where I already know at least a couple
people will be most likely given priority, but if one that does not
already have people I know fits these criteria better, it will still
be considered.
2. Must have good public transportation. The fixed route system should
span the entire city, possibly even suburbs, and should run
frequently, no more than every 20 minutes on weekdays, 30 on Saturdays
and hour on Sundays, and if it's better than that, so much the better.
A couple of light rail options doesn't hurt either. Paratransit should
be reliable when needed for appointments and such.
2. Low crime rate, especially violent crimes and sex crimes. I do not
want to put myself and my son in an unsafe environment. Any city is
going to have some level of crime, but it should not be overrun by
crime.
3. Very little drug use, and drugs should be illegal. Part of the
problem with the northwest is the legalization of drugs, like
marijuana, not only for medical use but for recreational use. I heard
they're even planning on putting pot stores on the streets, like
liquor stores, and a few people I know that live up there have said
more people are using drugs and doing so publicly for all to see. This
is intolerable to me and I will not expose myself or my son to it. I
hate smoking of all forms and if I could help it, I wouldn't expose
myself to cigarettes either, but they are everywhere so that is
unavoidable. However, if you live in a place where smokers are at
least respectful of non-smokers, and tend to stay clear of them,
especially children, then it might be worth considering.
4. People should not be judgmental. I know that in some cities, people
are more open minded toward the blind than others. That is actually
one of Portland's advantages. Around here, they're nothing but
patronizing, with very few exceptions. I want to live in a place where
I can put my degree to good use and not be assumed incapable based on
my blindness.
5. Should have a university. This is a must as I intend to pursue my
Master's degree in Special Education with a focus on visually impaired
students. My current focus is mild/moderate as that is all that is
offered by my online university, so I'll need to transfer to a
physical one for a VI focus.
6. Reasonable climate. Texas gets a lot of flash flooding and
thunderstorms. One of Portland's advantages is that while it gets
rain, it's usually not as heavy or violent. Salt Lake is another
option I've considered that I like, but I don't like the snow,
especially when the sidewalks are not plowed. That doesn't rule them
out, but it's something to consider. I'd prefer a nice, moderate
climate, very little extreme weather problems such as hurricanes,
tornados, and absolutely no earthquakes! I couldn't handle those.
7. Ideally should have Section 8 wait lists open or apartments with
open wait lists that do project based section 8 or similar state based
programs. Money is tight for myself and my son, who are currently
living in a mobile home and only paying lot rent. Unfortunately we
can't take the mobile home with us or we could just find an accessible
community there, and we can't afford to buy a new one, so when we move
out, we'll have to go section 8 or similar until I finish college.
We'd prefer a 2 bedroom section 8 or similar so we don't have to share
a room since he's used to his own now, but that actually should be
easier since most 1 bedrooms get a lot more full than 2 bedroom ones.

I'm sure there are other things I'd like but these are some of the big
ones. Now here are the possibilities for the three cities I've
considered and their advantages/disadvantages. One of them has been
entirely ruled out and I will tell why in its description.

Portland Oregon: Advantages - great public transportation system,
friends in and near the area, some with kids my son's age, almost
everything accessible, easily navigable address system, people seem
open to the ability of the blind, Portland State University, mostly
reasonable weather. Disadvantages - A bit too liberal for my comfort,
legalized recreational marijuana along with expanding public use and
the emergence of pot shops, severely limited blind services, though
Portland residents can acquire services from Vancouver Washington if
needed.
Salt Lake City, Utah: Advantages - Another great transit system,
friendly people, easy to navigate, know the area from living there
before, University of Utah, my son's old pediatrician from when he was
a baby if she still works there, who I trust and often tease that I'd
like back, some friends there, though none with kids. Disadvantages: A
little too conservative and religious, though not so bad in the main
city, snow and often unplowed sidewalks during the winter, making
travel more difficult, ex's family lives there (haven't figured out
yet if this is actually an advantage or a disadvantage.)
Plano, Texas: Advantages - Friends from high school, even several
sighted ones that don't tend to judge, most with kids around my son's
age, I know my way around since I grew up there, weather is usually
okay but can get bad at times. Disadvantages - limited public
transportation so need to walk most places, no university
(dealbreaker)

I know this is kind of long, but I'm trying to be thorough. I'd prefer
a place I've visited before as well, but I haven't visited too many
places so that may or may not be doable. I'm going to have to do some
thinking, researching, and soul searching, because wherever I go, I
want it to be final and where I end up settling. Feel free to make any
suggestions you think might fit the bill. Thanks!

Amanda

-- 
Amanda Matheny
Website: www.craftyfrugalmom.com
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