[blparent] Introduction and a question
Steve Jacobson
steve.jacobson at visi.com
Wed Feb 17 22:17:31 UTC 2016
Annely,
Sometimes list topics and even individual styles can push the buttons of other readers. As I tried to express yesterday, we are not all going to write with the same style nor are we all going to see the same thing in what others write. For example, I understood Stargazer's comment that she was being paid to be on the list to mean that the professional or someone else determined that researching this problem was part of her job as an instructor so her presence here was part of her job rather than recreation. That isn't a bad thing at all. Therefore, Stargazer's comment to that affect did not generate the same sort of response in me as it did in you. That does not make either you or me wrong, it is simply a difference in how we interpreted the comment.
If Stargazer had made her comments at the outset and others made their comments, people could make their own judgements about the information put forth. Because so many messages were in reaction to Stargazer's message, the information we might have provided was covered up by some messages that were harsher than were the messages they criticized. This is why the best practice on this or any list is to take personal differences to the individual to whom it is being addressed and not the list.
Let's move on from this unless one has specific product information that might be helpful.
Best regards,
Steve Jacobson
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Annely Rose via BlParent
Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2016 12:55 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Annely Rose <annely53r at yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
How do you know she gets paid to be on the list and how do you know she is repelled by the comments? You really need to stop this. Please, Steve, can this be ended?
Annely
--------------------------------------------
On Wed, 2/17/16, Star Gazer via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: "Star Gazer" <pickrellrebecca at gmail.com>
Date: Wednesday, February 17, 2016, 11:44 AM
She gets paid to be on the list Judy.
Remmber that. Lots of us don't like all
aspects of our jobs but we deal with
them.
If she is repelled by the list, she needs a new job.
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Judy Jones
via BlParent
Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2016 9:32 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Judy Jones <Judy.Jones at icbvi.idaho.gov>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
question
I hope the
professional was not repelled away from the list by some of
the
negativity.
I totally get what Rebecca is driving at. I
just think we have too little
information.
I
know our rehab instructor from our office visits clients all
the time
where the other spouse is not
involved, but she has to have a release signed
by the client with consent to interact with
spouse as well, so not
surprising that this
client was the only one mentioned in the adult family
dynamic.
I do
agree, though, if anyone does not like posts on the list, to
correspond
with the individual off-list and
to keep this list a courteous and
informative resource.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Star Gazer
via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 4:18 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Cc: Star Gazer
Subject: Re:
[blparent] Introduction and a question
Thank youSteve.
This is all I was getting
at. It seemed odd
that this lady wasn't on the list herself, and
didn't seem
to have any plans to get
here.
Also, the professional described her
situation as "helping a blind mom and
her toddler" not "a family where the
mom is blind".
The
approach and advice given is different based on the
configuration. It
also works differently if
the father is involved but they are not
functioning as a family unit. Say what you all
will, the world treats
married families very
differently then it treats other configurations. The
professional isn't doing her client any
favors by presenting her as a single
mother
if she isn't. The advice we and others give will be
different and
that needs to be taken into
account.
Finally, you do all realize that
the professional has not responded adding
more detail. It makes me think I'm not too
far off my mark. The fact that
everybody
jumped on me means something I said resonated in a way
nobody
likes, and that is also worth
thinking about. Nobody has to like what I or
anybody says, so why read and respond?
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Steve
Jacobson via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 6:05 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Steve Jacobson <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
question
Everyone,
As the list moderator, please
allow me to urge that we try to remember that
all of us come from different backgrounds, not
just those who come to the
list as a new
member. Notes such as Tammy's below should not go to
the
entire list but, if written at all, be
directed to the individual to which
the
comments were aimed. Generally, you can do a "reply
to all" and then
delete the list
addresses to get the address of the individual.
Some of us here have had
negative experiences where a well-intentioned
professional attempted to play a role in our
lives that went beyond the role
that was
prescribed. Of course, this does not mean that all
professionals
do that, nor does it mean that
it is happening in this case. However, our
roles, in my opinion, on this list are
twofold. Certainly we need to try to
provide accurate answers to questions that
arise. We are a very good
resource for
information needed by blind parents. In addition, though,
it
seems reasonable to me that we also watch
out for our fellow blind parents.
It does
not seem unreasonable to me to suggest that this person
be
encouraged to seek out information on her
own. By the same token, we also
must
realize that there could be reasons she cannot connect with
us
directly, and that it could be a
violation of confidentiality for an
involved
professional to share such reasons with the list. It needs
also to
be said that if we are asked
questions and we do not know all of the facts,
our advice could be incorrect in some cases.
I have to think that a trained
professional is going to have the ability to
analyze the information that is provided and
also consider whether the
suggestion that
the parent be encouraged to contact the list directly is
worth pursuing. Parenting is a challenge, but
as much as possible, we need
to be
collecting our own information as blind parents, and we need
to be
learning how to handle issues that
come our way ourselves. Some times we
need
help getting to that point, and the professional in this
case may
simply be trying to do that.
However, not every professional automatically
knows about the kinds of things many of us deal
with every day as blind
adults and as blind
parents. The experience with blind people that many
professionals have is with blind children or
with clients who are learning
to deal with
blindness. Therefore, we need to encourage the asking
of
questions by list members and by
professionals who may come to us for
information. Let's be careful in our
communication and consider that a
carefully
raised question can create a sense of security that can make
this
list even more useful.
Finally, remember that if you
have a gripe with someone, take it up with
them off the list. If you think something
isn't on topic or appropriate for
the
list, then write to me about it, not the whole list. If
you forget to
whom you should write, the
moderator is listed on the web page for this
list. Let's get back to helping each
other.
Best regards,
Steve Jacobson
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Tammy via
BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:14 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Tammy <tcl189 at rogers.com>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
question
Hi,
You're opinion was based
on what exactly? She asked for help for her
client, someone we know nothing about aside
from the fact that she is a
mother with a
toddler. Why is it that most of the time you seem not to
be
able to help without being critical?
It's not your business whether the
person is paying for services, and it's not
your business whether the woman
is in a
relationship with the father or whether she got knocked up
in a back
alley somewhere
and knows nothing about the sperm donor as you call him.
That's neither here nor there at the moment
and doesn't concern us unless
Liz or her
client brings it up on the list for us to answer questions
about
etc. She asked for help re baby and
toddler issues. So if you don't have
anything nice or posative to add, please do us
all a favour and shut up!
I'm sorry all
for the harshness of this post. I will say no more on
the
subject unless help is needed.
I've made my point and will take my own
advice and shut up now. lol
Thanks,
Tammy
-----Original Message-----
From: Star Gazer via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 1:29 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Cc: Star Gazer
Subject: Re:
[blparent] Introduction and a question
We all have the right to express our oppinions.
I think something isn't
right here and
I'm going to call it out especially if the personis
being
paid to help someone.
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Annely Rose
via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday,
February 16, 2016 1:25 PM
To: Blind Parents
Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Annely Rose <annely53r at yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
question
Thank you Tammy.
People make too many assumptions. We don't know
whether
or not Elizabeth has told her client
about this list. And if she has and
her
client is seeing these negative posts, it would be a
shame. People
should remember: If you
can't say something nice or positive, don't say
anything at all. God bless you all.
Annely
--------------------------------------------
On Tue, 2/16/16, Briley O'Connor via
BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
Subject: Re:
[blparent] Introduction and a question
To:
"Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: "Briley O'Connor" <brileyoc at gmail.com>
Date: Tuesday, February 16, 2016, 11:57 AM
Hi there!
Baby wearing seems like the
best solution. Encourage her to find a local
baby wearing group and find
Baby Wearing
International resources very helpful.
Thanks,
Briley
On Feb 14, 2016, at 5:55
PM,
Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
Hello
Wendy,
Thanks so much for the encouragement
I really hope all that will happen is
well.
Sent
from my iPhone
> On Feb
14, 2016, at 4:07 PM, Wendy Meuse via BlParent
> <blparent at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
>
> hi
Elizabeth: I am sure
that there are car seats that can fit in strollers.
However I am a grandmother now, and the
strollers and > car seat I used
are
probably long gone. I found a back pack very useful
though. I just
loved mine. I hope you
will get some good
>
information from folks on this list
that are
using or have used more modern strollers and car seats
then I had.
Perhaps she
would > like to get hold of people on this list to
get some
good ideas and to have lots of
support.
>
----- Original
Message -----
> From:
"Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent"
<blparent at nfbnet.org>
> To:
<blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: "Elizabeth Bowden" <bowdenelizabeth5 at gmail.com>
> Sent: Sunday, February
14, 2016 12:35 PM > Subject: [blparent]
Introduction and a question > >
> Hello Little, > My name is Liz
Bowden. I am a blind independen Living
instructor instructing the mother
of a
toddler. The mother would like to > take her child
around in her
community, but will have
difficulty with a cane, stroller, and a car seat.
She primarily uses cabs for > her
transportation. Do any of you use
anything
like a stroller car seat combination for your toddler, and
if so,
what make and > model. I
have investigated options, and find them
overwhelming. Other solutions for the problem
would be welcome.
> Thanks In
Advance.
> Sent from my iPhone
>
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