[blparent] Introduction and a question

Annely Rose annely53r at yahoo.com
Thu Feb 18 05:09:53 UTC 2016


Amen.  Take care and blessings to all.

Annely
--------------------------------------------
On Wed, 2/17/16, Steve Jacobson via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:

 Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
 To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
 Cc: "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
 Date: Wednesday, February 17, 2016, 5:17 PM
 
 Annely,
 
 Sometimes list topics and even individual styles can push
 the buttons of other readers.  As I tried to express
 yesterday, we are not all going to write with the same style
 nor are we all going to see the same thing in what others
 write.  For example, I understood Stargazer's comment
 that she was being paid to be on the list to mean that the
 professional or someone else determined that researching
 this problem was part of her job as an instructor so her
 presence here was part of her job rather than
 recreation.  That isn't a bad thing at all. 
 Therefore, Stargazer's comment to that affect did not
 generate the same sort of response in me as it did in
 you.  That does not make either you or me wrong, it is
 simply a difference in how we interpreted the comment.
 
 If Stargazer had made her comments at the outset and others
 made their comments, people could make their own judgements
 about the information put forth.  Because so many
 messages were in reaction to Stargazer's message, the
 information we might have provided was covered up by some
 messages that were harsher than were the messages they
 criticized.  This is why the best practice on this or
 any list is to take personal differences to the individual
 to whom it is being addressed and not the list.  
 
 Let's move on from this unless one has specific product
 information that might be helpful.  
 
 Best regards,
 
 Steve Jacobson
 
 -----Original Message-----
 From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
 On Behalf Of Annely Rose via BlParent
 Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2016 12:55 PM
 To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
 Cc: Annely Rose <annely53r at yahoo.com>
 Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
 
 How do you know she gets paid to be on the list and how do
 you know she is repelled by the comments?  You really
 need to stop this.  Please, Steve, can this be ended?
 
 Annely
 --------------------------------------------
 On Wed, 2/17/16, Star Gazer via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
 wrote:
 
   Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
  To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  Cc: "Star Gazer" <pickrellrebecca at gmail.com>
  Date: Wednesday, February 17, 2016, 11:44 AM
  
             
      She gets paid to be on the list
 Judy.
  Remmber that. Lots of us don't like all
  aspects of our jobs but we deal with
  them.
  If she is repelled by the list, she needs a new job.
  
  -----Original Message-----
  From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
  On Behalf Of Judy Jones
  via BlParent
  Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2016 9:32 AM
  To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  Cc: Judy Jones <Judy.Jones at icbvi.idaho.gov>
  Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
  question
  
  I hope the
  professional was not repelled away from the list by some
 of
  the
  negativity.
  
  I totally get what Rebecca is driving at.  I
  just think we have too little
  information.
  
  I
  know our rehab instructor from our office visits clients
 all
  the time
  where the other spouse is not
  involved, but she has to have a release signed
  by the client with consent to interact with
  spouse as well, so not
  surprising that this
  client was the only one mentioned in the adult family
  dynamic.
  
  I do
  agree, though, if anyone does not like posts on the list,
 to
  correspond
  with the individual off-list and
  to keep this list a courteous and
  informative resource.
  
  Judy
  
  -----Original Message-----
  From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
  On Behalf Of Star Gazer
  via BlParent
  Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 4:18 PM
  To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
  Cc: Star Gazer
  Subject: Re:
  [blparent] Introduction and a question
  
              
    Thank youSteve.
  This is all I was getting
  at. It seemed odd
  that this lady wasn't on the list herself, and
  didn't seem
  to have any plans to get
  here. 
  Also, the professional described her
  situation as "helping a blind mom and
  her toddler" not "a family where the
  mom is blind". 
  
  The
  approach and advice given is different based on the
  configuration. It
  also works differently if
  the father is involved but they are not
  functioning as a family unit. Say what you all
  will, the world treats
  married families very
  differently then it treats other configurations. The
  professional isn't doing her client any
  favors by presenting her as a single
  mother
  if she isn't. The advice we and others give will be
  different and
  that needs to be taken into
  account. 
  Finally, you do all realize that
  the professional has not responded adding
  more detail. It makes me think I'm not too
  far off my mark. The fact that
  everybody
  jumped on me means something I said resonated in a way
  nobody
  likes, and that is also worth
  thinking about. Nobody has to like what I or
  anybody says, so why read and respond?
  
  -----Original Message-----
  From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
  On Behalf Of Steve
  Jacobson via BlParent
  Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 6:05 PM
  To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  Cc: Steve Jacobson <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
  Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
  question
  
  Everyone,
  
  As the list moderator, please
  allow me to urge that we try to remember that
  all of us come from different backgrounds, not
  just those who come to the
  list as a new
  member.  Notes such as Tammy's below should not go to
  the
  entire list but, if written at all, be
  directed to the individual to which
  the
  comments were aimed.  Generally, you can do a "reply
  to all" and then
  delete the list
  addresses to get the address of the individual.
  
  Some of us here have had
  negative experiences where a well-intentioned
  professional attempted to play a role in our
  lives that went beyond the role
  that was
  prescribed.  Of course, this does not mean that all
  professionals
  do that, nor does it mean that
  it is happening in this case.  However, our
  roles, in my opinion, on this list are
  twofold.  Certainly we need to try to
  provide accurate answers to questions that
  arise.  We are a very good
  resource for
  information needed by blind parents.  In addition,
 though,
  it
  seems reasonable to me that we also watch
  out for our fellow blind parents.
  It does
  not seem unreasonable to me to suggest that this person
  be
  encouraged to seek out information on her
  own.  By the same token, we also
  must
  realize that there could be reasons she cannot connect
 with
  us
  directly, and that it could be a
  violation of confidentiality for an
  involved
  professional to share such reasons with the list.  It
 needs
  also to
  be said that if we are asked
  questions and we do not know all of the facts,
  our advice could be incorrect in some cases.
  
  I have to think that a trained
  professional is going to have the ability to
  analyze the information that is provided and
  also consider whether the
  suggestion that
  the parent be encouraged to contact the list directly is
  worth pursuing.  Parenting is a challenge, but
  as much as possible, we need
  to be
  collecting our own information as blind parents, and we
 need
  to be
  learning how to handle issues that
  come our way ourselves.  Some times we
  need
  help getting to that point, and the professional in this
  case may
  simply be trying to do that. 
  However, not every professional automatically
  knows about the kinds of things many of us deal
  with every day as blind
  adults and as blind
  parents.  The experience with blind people that many
  professionals have is with blind children or
  with clients who are learning
  to deal with
  blindness.  Therefore, we need to encourage the
 asking
  of
  questions by list members and by
  professionals who may come to us for
  information.  Let's be careful in our
  communication and consider that a
  carefully
  raised question can create a sense of security that can
 make
  this
  list even more useful.
  
  Finally, remember that if you
  have a gripe with someone, take it up with
  them off the list.  If you think something
  isn't on topic or appropriate for
  the
  list, then write to me about it, not the whole list. 
 If
  you forget to
  whom you should write, the
  moderator is listed on the web page for this
  list.  Let's get back to helping each
  other. 
  
  Best regards,
  
  Steve Jacobson
  
  -----Original Message-----
  From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
  On Behalf Of Tammy via
  BlParent
  Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:14 PM
  To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  Cc: Tammy <tcl189 at rogers.com>
  Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
  question
  
  Hi,
  
  You're opinion was based
  on what exactly?  She asked for help for her
  client, someone we know nothing about aside
  from the fact that she is a
  mother with a
  toddler.  Why is it that most of the time you seem not
 to
  be
  able to help without being critical? 
  It's not your business whether the
  person is paying for services, and it's not
  your business whether the woman
  is in a
  relationship with the father or whether she got knocked up
  in a back
  
  alley somewhere
  and knows nothing about the sperm donor as you call him. 
  That's neither here nor there at the moment
  and doesn't concern us unless
  Liz or her
  client brings it up on the list for us to answer questions
  about
  etc.  She asked for help re baby and
  toddler issues.  So if you don't have
  anything nice or posative to add, please do us
  all a favour and shut up! 
  I'm sorry all
  for the harshness of this post.  I will say no more
 on
  the
  subject unless help is needed. 
  I've made my point and will take my own
  advice and shut up now.  lol
  
  Thanks,
  
  Tammy
  
  -----Original Message-----
  From: Star Gazer via BlParent
  Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 1:29 PM
  To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
  Cc: Star Gazer
  Subject: Re:
  [blparent] Introduction and a question
  
  We all have the right to express our oppinions.
  I think something isn't
  right here and
  I'm going to call it out especially if the personis
  being
  paid to help someone.
  
  -----Original Message-----
  From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
  On Behalf Of Annely Rose
  
  via BlParent
  Sent: Tuesday,
  February 16, 2016 1:25 PM
  To: Blind Parents
  Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  Cc: Annely Rose <annely53r at yahoo.com>
  Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
  question
  
  Thank you Tammy. 
  People make too many assumptions.  We don't know
  whether
  or not Elizabeth has told her client
  about this list.  And if she has and
  her
  client is seeing these negative posts, it would be a
  shame.  People
  should remember: If you
  can't say something nice or positive, don't say
  anything at all.  God bless you all.
  
  Annely
  --------------------------------------------
  On Tue, 2/16/16, Briley O'Connor via
  BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  wrote:
  
  Subject: Re:
  [blparent] Introduction and a question
  To:
  "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  Cc: "Briley O'Connor" <brileyoc at gmail.com>
  Date: Tuesday, February 16, 2016, 11:57 AM
  
  Hi there!
  
  Baby wearing seems like the
  best solution. Encourage her to find a local
  baby wearing  group and find
  Baby Wearing
  International resources very  helpful.
  
  Thanks,
  Briley
  On Feb 14, 2016, at 5:55
  PM,
  Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  wrote:
  
  Hello
  Wendy,
  Thanks so much for the encouragement
  I really  hope all that will happen is
  well.
  
  Sent
  from my iPhone
  
  > On Feb
  14, 2016, at 4:07 PM, Wendy Meuse  via BlParent 
  > <blparent at nfbnet.org>
  wrote:
  >
  > hi
  Elizabeth:  I am sure
  that there are car seats that can fit  in strollers. 
  However I am a grandmother now, and the 
  strollers and  > car seat I used
  are 
  probably long gone.  I found a back pack very useful 
  though.  I just
  loved mine.  I hope you
  will get some good
  
  >
  information from folks on this list
  that are
  using or have used more modern strollers and car 
 seats
  then I had.
  
  Perhaps she
  would  >  like to get hold of people on this
 list to
  get some
  good  ideas and to have lots of
  support.
  >
  ----- Original
  Message -----
  > From:
  "Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent"
  <blparent at nfbnet.org>
 
  > To: 
  <blparent at nfbnet.org>
 
  > Cc: "Elizabeth Bowden" <bowdenelizabeth5 at gmail.com>
  
   > Sent: Sunday, February
  14, 2016 12:35  PM  > Subject: [blparent]
  Introduction and  a question  >  > 
  > Hello Little,  > My name  is Liz
  Bowden.  I am a blind independen Living
  instructor  instructing the mother
  of a
  toddler.  The mother would like  to  >
 take her child
  around in her
  community, but will have
  difficulty with a cane, stroller,  and a car seat. 
  She primarily uses cabs for  > her
  transportation.  Do any of you use
  anything
  like a stroller car seat combination for your 
 toddler, and
  if so,
  what make and  >  model.  I
  have investigated options, and find them
  overwhelming.  Other solutions for the problem
  would be  welcome.
  > Thanks In
  Advance.
  > Sent from my iPhone
  >
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