[blparent] Introduction and a question
Judy Jones
Judy.Jones at icbvi.idaho.gov
Wed Feb 17 17:07:59 UTC 2016
Oh no. I wouldn't want to assume that either. (smiles)
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer via BlParent
Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2016 9:44 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Cc: Star Gazer
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
She gets paid to be on the list Judy.
Remmber that. Lots of us don't like all aspects of our jobs but we deal with them. If she is repelled by the list, she needs a new job.
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlParent
Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2016 9:32 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Judy Jones <Judy.Jones at icbvi.idaho.gov>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
I hope the professional was not repelled away from the list by some of the negativity.
I totally get what Rebecca is driving at. I just think we have too little information.
I know our rehab instructor from our office visits clients all the time where the other spouse is not involved, but she has to have a release signed by the client with consent to interact with spouse as well, so not surprising that this client was the only one mentioned in the adult family dynamic.
I do agree, though, if anyone does not like posts on the list, to correspond with the individual off-list and to keep this list a courteous and informative resource.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 4:18 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Cc: Star Gazer
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
Thank youSteve. This is all I was getting at. It seemed odd that this lady wasn't on the list herself, and didn't seem to have any plans to get here.
Also, the professional described her situation as "helping a blind mom and her toddler" not "a family where the mom is blind".
The approach and advice given is different based on the configuration. It also works differently if the father is involved but they are not functioning as a family unit. Say what you all will, the world treats married families very differently then it treats other configurations. The professional isn't doing her client any favors by presenting her as a single mother if she isn't. The advice we and others give will be different and that needs to be taken into account.
Finally, you do all realize that the professional has not responded adding more detail. It makes me think I'm not too far off my mark. The fact that everybody jumped on me means something I said resonated in a way nobody likes, and that is also worth thinking about. Nobody has to like what I or anybody says, so why read and respond?
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Steve Jacobson via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 6:05 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Steve Jacobson <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
Everyone,
As the list moderator, please allow me to urge that we try to remember that all of us come from different backgrounds, not just those who come to the list as a new member. Notes such as Tammy's below should not go to the entire list but, if written at all, be directed to the individual to which the comments were aimed. Generally, you can do a "reply to all" and then delete the list addresses to get the address of the individual.
Some of us here have had negative experiences where a well-intentioned professional attempted to play a role in our lives that went beyond the role that was prescribed. Of course, this does not mean that all professionals do that, nor does it mean that it is happening in this case. However, our roles, in my opinion, on this list are twofold. Certainly we need to try to provide accurate answers to questions that arise. We are a very good resource for information needed by blind parents. In addition, though, it seems reasonable to me that we also watch out for our fellow blind parents.
It does not seem unreasonable to me to suggest that this person be encouraged to seek out information on her own. By the same token, we also must realize that there could be reasons she cannot connect with us directly, and that it could be a violation of confidentiality for an involved professional to share such reasons with the list. It needs also to be said that if we are asked questions and we do not know all of the facts, our advice could be incorrect in some cases.
I have to think that a trained professional is going to have the ability to analyze the information that is provided and also consider whether the suggestion that the parent be encouraged to contact the list directly is worth pursuing. Parenting is a challenge, but as much as possible, we need to be collecting our own information as blind parents, and we need to be learning how to handle issues that come our way ourselves. Some times we need help getting to that point, and the professional in this case may simply be trying to do that. However, not every professional automatically knows about the kinds of things many of us deal with every day as blind adults and as blind parents. The experience with blind people that many professionals have is with blind children or with clients who are learning to deal with blindness. Therefore, we need to encourage the asking of questions by list members and by professionals who may come to us for information. Let's be careful in our communication and consider that a carefully raised question can create a sense of security that can make this list even more useful.
Finally, remember that if you have a gripe with someone, take it up with them off the list. If you think something isn't on topic or appropriate for the list, then write to me about it, not the whole list. If you forget to whom you should write, the moderator is listed on the web page for this list. Let's get back to helping each other.
Best regards,
Steve Jacobson
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Tammy via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:14 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Tammy <tcl189 at rogers.com>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
Hi,
You're opinion was based on what exactly? She asked for help for her client, someone we know nothing about aside from the fact that she is a mother with a toddler. Why is it that most of the time you seem not to be able to help without being critical? It's not your business whether the person is paying for services, and it's not your business whether the woman is in a relationship with the father or whether she got knocked up in a back
alley somewhere and knows nothing about the sperm donor as you call him.
That's neither here nor there at the moment and doesn't concern us unless Liz or her client brings it up on the list for us to answer questions about etc. She asked for help re baby and toddler issues. So if you don't have anything nice or posative to add, please do us all a favour and shut up!
I'm sorry all for the harshness of this post. I will say no more on the subject unless help is needed. I've made my point and will take my own advice and shut up now. lol
Thanks,
Tammy
-----Original Message-----
From: Star Gazer via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 1:29 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Cc: Star Gazer
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
We all have the right to express our oppinions. I think something isn't right here and I'm going to call it out especially if the personis being paid to help someone.
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Annely Rose
via BlParent
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 1:25 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Annely Rose <annely53r at yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
Thank you Tammy. People make too many assumptions. We don't know whether or not Elizabeth has told her client about this list. And if she has and her client is seeing these negative posts, it would be a shame. People should remember: If you can't say something nice or positive, don't say anything at all. God bless you all.
Annely
--------------------------------------------
On Tue, 2/16/16, Briley O'Connor via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: "Briley O'Connor" <brileyoc at gmail.com>
Date: Tuesday, February 16, 2016, 11:57 AM
Hi there!
Baby wearing seems like the
best solution. Encourage her to find a local baby wearing group and find Baby Wearing International resources very helpful.
Thanks,
Briley
On Feb 14, 2016, at 5:55
PM, Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
Hello Wendy,
Thanks so much for the encouragement I really hope all that will happen is well.
Sent from my iPhone
> On Feb 14, 2016, at 4:07 PM, Wendy Meuse via BlParent
> <blparent at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
>
> hi
Elizabeth: I am sure that there are car seats that can fit in strollers.
However I am a grandmother now, and the strollers and > car seat I used are probably long gone. I found a back pack very useful though. I just loved mine. I hope you will get some good
> information from folks on this list
that are using or have used more modern strollers and car seats then I had.
Perhaps she would > like to get hold of people on this list to get some good ideas and to have lots of support.
>
----- Original Message -----
> From:
"Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent" <blparent at nfbnet.org> > To:
<blparent at nfbnet.org> > Cc: "Elizabeth Bowden" <bowdenelizabeth5 at gmail.com>
> Sent: Sunday, February 14, 2016 12:35 PM > Subject: [blparent] Introduction and a question > > > Hello Little, > My name is Liz Bowden. I am a blind independen Living instructor instructing the mother of a toddler. The mother would like to > take her child around in her community, but will have difficulty with a cane, stroller, and a car seat.
She primarily uses cabs for > her transportation. Do any of you use anything like a stroller car seat combination for your toddler, and if so, what make and > model. I have investigated options, and find them overwhelming. Other solutions for the problem would be welcome.
> Thanks In Advance.
> Sent from my iPhone
>
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