[blparent] Question for Blind Dads About Dressing Babies

[nik62591 at gmail.com]

I am blind and my wife is sighted. Neither of us really have any difficulty getting her dressed, although sometimes I think I have an easier time getting her arms through some of her tight fitting onezies, but I attribute that to me being a bit less afraid to break her. :) She, on the other hand is better at changing poopy diapers. I can do it, and I do when I'm watching her and my wife isn't home. When we are together, she cleans the poopy diapers, because she is better at that. She washes her bottles because she is particular at how clean they get. I entertain her while my wife is doing bottles, and I always get carseat carrying duties, since I am stronger than her. When we give her medicine, I hold the baby and my wife fills the dropper and puts it in her mouth.

The point of all this is to say that there are things that each of us are better at, and so we divide it all up in a way that works for both of us, and it pretty much equals out in the end. I would call that a success.

As far as him being able to dress her when you aren't around, maybe you can let him try to dress her 'and walk away so you don't have to hear the baby crying. If you are anything like my wife, I know this is a pretty tall order, but unless you seriously think he's going to hurt her, being somewhere else might help him feel less pressured. As a dad I can say first hand that trying to do something while having a stressed out worrying mom standing right there askking you if you are hurting the baby and why is she so upset isn't the most optimal situation to figure something out. Our baby frequently screams when we get her dressed. I don't think she likes having her arms manipulated. I know she isn't in pain because she calms down as soon as the ordeal is over, but sometimes it can seem that way if you don't know her--or if you are a worrying mother.

Niko Carpenter

> On Jun 15, 2016, at 17:41, Brandy W via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> OK, I'm laughing just a little remembering my stepdad dressing my baby sister. That man he never could figure out how to get clothes on her the right way they always seem to be inside out and backwards. I think it is a man thing not a blind man thing.
> 
> I know that my dad preferred to dress my brother and sister on the floor. He would set them up with their back to him. And then pull the shirt over their head. And then put the arms through. Then he would lay them down and pull the onesie down and snack also children's place and many other stores make one piece romper  this time of year they are much like a onesie with slightly longer legs. These would go on the same as a sleeve or minus the legs and feet and would likely do the same for him to get on. He could then unsnap it all the way lay it down, and then lay her on top and put in the arms and then snap down the middle until she was essentially dressed. If I lived closer I would help Good sent  from my iPhone
> 
>> On Jun 15, 2016, at 2:13 PM, KailaAllen via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> Has he practiced at all on a baby doll, maybe that would help him figure out a way to get it over the child's head and arms through the whole.  
>> 
>> Thank you, 
>> 
>> Kaila
>> 
>> The true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.   Nelson G Henderson
>> 
>> 
>>> On Jun 15, 2016, at 11:06 AM, Allison via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Hi All,
>>> 
>>> Happy Father's Day everyone. I have a question that anybody on here is welcome to chime in on, but I'm especially looking for suggestions from blind dads. How did you learn to dress your baby? Was the process ever difficult for you and what helped it get easier?
>>> 
>>> My daughter is five-months-old and my husband is having a lot of difficulty dressing her. I kept hoping this issue would get better over time with practice, but it's not improving all that much. So far he can only manage footie pjs, which is something, but we live in the desert where it is 100 degrees or more each day and footies are too warm. Any other clothing like onsies,  dresses, t-shirts, etc seems to baffle my husband and send our daughter into fits of screaming and crying as he tries to dress her. I'm blind myself and can get our baby dressed okay. So I don't think it's just a blindness issue. I think having sight would help my husband to learn some of this more easily, but it's certainly not required because other blind parents, myself included, manage it. 
>>> 
>>> I think that maybe guys in general are given very little practice with dressing small children. And my guess is that blind men especially have almost no chances in their lives to work on this skill. I honestly don't know where or how I learned how to dress a baby, but I think I got some practice on baby dolls and baby-sitting charges growing up. As a guy, my husband didn't have those experiences, so as an adult with his own baby, he's at a loss. 
>>> 
>>> I've tried giving him dressing tips both by letting him feel what I do and through verbal description. I've also set aside a separate bag of clothing for just him to use. It's a set of outfits that seemed easier than others because they had large neck openings,  were one piece, and were on the big size. So far, none of those techniques have helped, and I'm at a loss  of what to try next because I just don't want to listen to my baby crying during daddy dressing time each day. 
>>> 
>>> Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and he's a terrific dad to our daughter. He does a lot of other baby care quite well. He is better than me at giving our daughter medicine for example. He also doesn't shy away from a messy diaper which I so appreciate. 
>>> 
>>> We really just could use some baby-dressing suggestions for him because it is not practical for me to dress my daughter all the time. I work full-time and my husband is home with the baby during the day. I dress her in the morning, but if she needs a new outfit throughout the day, as babies tend to do, he needs to be able to dress her. 
>>> 
>>> Thanks in advance for suggestions.
>>> 
>>> Best,
>>> Allison
>>> 
>>> 
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