[blparent] (no subject)

[Judy Jones]

Hello,

Thank you for contacting this list.

First of all, are you blind?  I also take it that at your age, you are not
yet a parent possibly?

You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the blind
parents do need some sighted assistance.  Not so.

My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are now
successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance.  I will qualify
that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.  We are very social,
and our girls have been also.  As a natural part of friendships, we would do
things for each other.  I would bake cookies, or watch other sighted
friends' kids, for instance.  The sighted parents might take my kids
somewhere, because they could drive.  But we also took our kids places on
the bus.  We did not have sighted help based on our blindness.  We would do
things for each other as a natural result of being friends and filling a
need.

We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once.  Most of the time we
hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would congregate in
kid-friendly places, because we wanted to.  We were very independent with
our kids, using either cabs or buses to get them where they needed to go,
and we took other sighted parents' kids with us, if their parents did not
have the time or ability to drive them.

To address your issues.  Child safety is always of concern to parents, not
just to blind parents.  Providing that safety is not visual, but common
sense.  Again, you are making some underlying assumptions that are not
necessarily true.  Blind or sighted, you need to be aware of your
environment, your child's environment, and be in tune with your child.  We
were aware of safety precautions we would need to take, and took them.  A
child who is choking is not going to just sit there and choke.  He will be
moving and showing other signs of distress, making some noises, breathing
changes.  Granted, blind parents cannot see skin pallor, but there are so
many other symptoms that go along with what is going on with the child.  I'm
speaking from experience.

The answer to your second question is obvious.  I would resolve the
first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of the
incident.  It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take that and first
aid classes that are offered in communities.

The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from seeing a
sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers' shoes so we could
hear where they are.  Another thing we did, if we called for the child and
they did not respond, we would take it on ourselves to go find them.  When
we did, we would be very matter-of-fact and say something like, Oh, there
you are, and not make a big deal out of it.  We took control by finding the
child ourselves, and not giving child the control to come to us when they
felt like it.  A great behavior to practice.  By the way, I learned that one
at guide dog school years before we had children.  (smiles)

Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in providing
safety.  There are not.  The answer is prevention.  There are priorities of
providing safety.  As a blindparent of a toddler, you cannot just sit in a
chair, and tell toddler to come to you.  You need to be on your feet with
that toddler when he is exploring, when not by your side.  That alone will
eliminate a lot of safety issues.  Your child is your responsibility, not
someone else's.

Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is true of
blind parents as well as sighted parents.  We all do what we can to make any
hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in the first place and
thinking ahead.

Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case, that it was
worrisome raising kids.  It was not.  It was delightful, lots of hard work,
but we enjoyed it.

 Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact that the
parents are blind.  I can tell you also from my experience of grown sighted
kids that they will tell you the same thing.

Judy



From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
Parikh via BlParent
Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Cc: Alomi Parikh
Subject: [blparent] (no subject)

Hello

Respected Sir/Madam,

I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University in Pune,
India.

I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college project.

While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and wholly
capable of raising their own children, society may think otherwise.
However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully capable,
they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain reasons which
curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to realise that raising
an infant is the most difficult part and there are multiple safety hazards.

After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to work with
as the following:

Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants (0-12
months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly visual symptoms.
A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it difficult to
diagnose this problem or may require the help of sighted friends and family.
I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to realize what
is wrong with their child and be able to take the necessary actions, by
themselves or just like any other sighted parent.

I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and sincerely
hope you can help and guide me through this.

1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you would like
to add about this topic?

2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or
suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?

3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of such a
situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind of solutions
or tactics you use.

3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you faced while
raising your infant?

4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant safe?

5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?

6. What are some solutions you would suggest?

7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?

I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.

Thank you for your valuable time and help.

Alomi Parikh
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