[blparent] (no subject)
Judy Jones
sonshines59 at gmail.com
Mon May 15 19:15:55 UTC 2017
Yes, you are more than welcome!
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
Parikh via BlParent
Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 1:09 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Alomi Parikh
Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
Hi Judy,
Thank you so much for this kind response.
It's lovely to hear your stories. I would love to get in tough with you
individually if that is alright with you.
Regards,
Alomi Parikh
On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 10:59 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Hi again,
>
> First of all,don't worry one bit about hurt feelings, absolutely none
> and am glad to help out. I was straightening out misconceptions, but
> no hurt feelings whatsoever. Not to worry. See answers below, and
> appreciate your kind e-mail.
>
> Write back any time.
>
> Judy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
> Parikh via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 10:06 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Alomi Parikh
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>
> Hi Judy,
>
> First of all, I'd like to heartily thank you for contacting me.
> Secondly, I am extremely sorry if my assumptions hurt you in any way,
> it was not my intention.
>
> I am also sorry I didn't make this clear, but no, I am not blind. I
> have contacted the list to get a better insight and first hand reports
> that would help me in my project. And yes, I am not a parent.
>
> I spoke to a couple of Blind Parents from India and they indicated
> that they often had the help of their sighted friends and neighbors
> and I made the mistake of generalizing this.
>
> Thank you for the rest of your answers, they were really helpful. But
> I wanted to clarify a few things.
>
> The same set of questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted parents.
>
> For example, my intention was not to imply that there is a problem
> providing safety but to inquire if you faced any safety issues
> personally.
> They are multiple safety hazards to infants in general and my aim was
> to find out if there is any major difference between the way Blind
> Parents and Sighted Parents take care of their infants.
>
> Okay, this explanation gives a better perspective, thank you. You are
> right. Parenting is not that much different for blind parents than
> sighted parents.
>
> As for the question about the most worrisome part of raising an
> infant, I was just aiming at the psychology of the parent and not
> attacking a problem in any way. For example, several sighted parents
> replied with various answers such as Communication Gap, Making sure
> they are healthy, Facing the unknown, Night shifts etc. Hence, it was
> just a question to see how you as a parent (irrespective of being
> Blind or not) felt while raising your kids.
> I am sure you had some anxieties as well and that is what I was hoping
> to understand.
>
> No anxieties here, just trying to set the record straight. All
> couples, blind or sighted, are going to look at parenting differently.
> For us, my husband and I had been married almost six years when our first
was born.
> We
> were anticipating her birth and planning for it. Both he and I had
> been working. Then he got a job with a much higher salary in a
> different state, so we moved, and this allowed me to stay at home. So
> we had good circumstances that allowed us to enjoy the process of
> having a baby and raising her.
>
> When pregnant with our second, we were getting ready to move again.
> BTW, we did have a sighted friend's help as moving truck driver. My
> husband and I did all the packing ourselves and hauling. My husband
> and his friend drove the truck with our furniture, as we were again
> moving to another state, and my toddler and I took a plane where
> friends met us at the airport, then met up with my husband later. My
> husband had already found us a house, so all we had to do was move in,
> which is a good thing, because I was sick with being pregnant with my
> second. My husband was very supportive and very good in caring for
> our girls when toddlers.
>
> Nonetheless, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiments in anyway by making
> any assumptions. But I am so glad that you replied as now I have a
> more clear picture of my topic. Thank you so much for taking out the
> time to read this long email and patiently reply to all my queries.
>
> Never worry about asking the blindness questions on this list. People
> are open and very glad to share. It is best to educate the sighted in
> any way we can, and we are all willing to do so. As far as I am
> concerned, there is no wrong question.
>
>
> I am eagerly waiting for more responses.
>
> To the other readers,
>
> I would like to reiterate to the others that personally I strongly
> believe that Blind Parents are 100% capable to raise their infants. I
> am just reaching out to understand if there are any problems or not
> and want to clear out any assumptions.
>
> The following questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted
> Parents and in no way are singling out Blind Parents by assuming that
> they will definitely have problems. These questions are to understand
> more about your Psychology as a parent more than anything else.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
> facedwhile raising your infant?4. What are some unconventional methods
> you use to keep your infant safe?5. What is/was the most worrisome
> part of raising an infant?6. What are some solutions you would
> suggest?7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?*
>
> Thank you once again for your valuable time.
>
> Alomi Parikh
>
> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 9:09 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> > Hello,
> >
> > Thank you for contacting this list.
> >
> > First of all, are you blind? I also take it that at your age, you
> > are not yet a parent possibly?
> >
> > You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the
> > blind parents do need some sighted assistance. Not so.
> >
> > My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are
> > now successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance. I
> > will qualify that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.
> > We are very social, and our girls have been also. As a natural part
> > of friendships, we would do things for each other. I would bake
> > cookies, or watch other sighted friends' kids, for instance. The
> > sighted parents might take my kids somewhere, because they could
> > drive. But we also took our kids places on the bus. We did not
> > have sighted help based on our blindness. We would do things for
> > each other as a natural result of being friends and filling a need.
> >
> > We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once. Most of the
> > time we hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would
> > congregate in kid-friendly places, because we wanted to. We were
> > very independent with our kids, using either cabs or buses to get
> > them where they needed to go, and we took other sighted parents'
> > kids with us, if their parents did not have the time or ability to drive
them.
> >
> > To address your issues. Child safety is always of concern to
> > parents, not just to blind parents. Providing that safety is not
> > visual, but common sense. Again, you are making some underlying
> > assumptions that are not necessarily true. Blind or sighted, you
> > need to be aware of your environment, your child's environment, and
> > be in tune with your child. We were aware of safety precautions we
> > would need to take, and took them. A child who is choking is not
> > going to just sit there and choke. He will be moving and showing
> > other signs of distress, making some noises, breathing changes.
> > Granted, blind parents cannot see skin pallor, but there are so many
> > other symptoms that go along with what
> is going on with the child.
> > I'm
> > speaking from experience.
> >
> > The answer to your second question is obvious. I would resolve the
> > first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of
> > the incident. It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take
> > that and first aid classes that are offered in communities.
> >
> > The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from
> > seeing a sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers'
> > shoes so we could hear where they are. Another thing we did, if we
> > called for the child and they did not respond, we would take it on
> > ourselves to go find them. When we did, we would be very
> > matter-of-fact and say something like, Oh, there you are, and not make a
big deal out of it.
> > We took control by finding the child ourselves, and not giving child
> > the control to come to us when they felt like it. A great behavior
> > to practice. By the way, I learned that one at guide dog school
> > years before we had children. (smiles)
> >
> > Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in
> > providing safety. There are not. The answer is prevention. There
> > are priorities of providing safety. As a blindparent of a toddler,
> > you cannot just sit in a chair, and tell toddler to come to you.
> > You need to be on your feet with that toddler when he is exploring,
> > when not by your side. That alone will eliminate a lot of safety
issues.
> > Your child is your responsibility, not someone else's.
> >
> > Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is
> > true of blind parents as well as sighted parents. We all do what we
> > can to make any hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in
> > the first place and thinking ahead.
> >
> > Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case,
> > that it was worrisome raising kids. It was not. It was delightful,
> > lots of hard work, but we enjoyed it.
> >
> > Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact
> > that the parents are blind. I can tell you also from my experience
> > of grown sighted kids that they will tell you the same thing.
> >
> > Judy
> >
> >
> >
> > From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
> > Alomi Parikh via BlParent
> > Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
> > To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> > Cc: Alomi Parikh
> > Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
> >
> > Hello
> >
> > Respected Sir/Madam,
> >
> > I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University
> > in Pune, India.
> >
> > I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college
project.
> >
> > While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and
> > wholly capable of raising their own children, society may think
otherwise.
> > However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully
> > capable, they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain
> > reasons which curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to
> > realise that raising an infant is the most difficult part and there
> > are
> multiple safety hazards.
> >
> > After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to
> > work with as the following:
> >
> > Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants
> > (0-12 months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly
> > visual symptoms.
> > A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it
> > difficult to diagnose this problem or may require the help of
> > sighted friends and family.
> > I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to
> > realize what is wrong with their child and be able to take the
> > necessary actions, by themselves or just like any other sighted parent.
> >
> > I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and
> > sincerely hope you can help and guide me through this.
> >
> > 1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you
> > would like to add about this topic?
> >
> > 2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or
> > suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?
> >
> > 3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of
> > such a situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind
> > of solutions or tactics you use.
> >
> > 3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
> > faced while raising your infant?
> >
> > 4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant
safe?
> >
> > 5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?
> >
> > 6. What are some solutions you would suggest?
> >
> > 7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?
> >
> > I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.
> >
> > Thank you for your valuable time and help.
> >
> > Alomi Parikh
> > _______________________________________________
> > BlParent mailing list
> > BlParent at nfbnet.org
> > http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
> > for
> > BlParent:
> > http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/
> > sonshines59%40gmail.co
> > m
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > BlParent mailing list
> > BlParent at nfbnet.org
> > http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
> > for
> > BlParent:
> > http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/
> > alomiparikh24%40gmail.com
> >
> _______________________________________________
> BlParent mailing list
> BlParent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> BlParent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/
> sonshines59%40gmail.co
> m
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> BlParent mailing list
> BlParent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> BlParent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/
> alomiparikh24%40gmail.com
>
_______________________________________________
BlParent mailing list
BlParent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
BlParent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/sonshines59%40gmail.co
m
More information about the BlParent
mailing list