[blparent] (no subject)

Mon May 15 19:09:27 UTC 2017

Hi Judy,

Thank you so much for this kind response.

It's lovely to hear your stories. I would love to get in tough with you
individually if that is alright with you.

Regards,

Alomi Parikh

On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 10:59 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> Hi again,
>
> First of all,don't worry one bit about hurt feelings, absolutely none and
> am
> glad to help out.  I was straightening out misconceptions, but no hurt
> feelings whatsoever.  Not to worry.  See answers below, and appreciate your
> kind e-mail.
>
> Write back any time.
>
> Judy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
> Parikh via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 10:06 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Alomi Parikh
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>
> Hi Judy,
>
> First of all, I'd like to heartily thank you for contacting me.
> Secondly, I am extremely sorry if my assumptions hurt you in any way, it
> was
> not my intention.
>
> I am also sorry I didn't make this clear, but no, I am not blind. I have
> contacted the list to get a better insight and first hand reports that
> would
> help me in my project. And yes, I am not a parent.
>
> I spoke to a couple of Blind Parents from India and they indicated that
> they
> often had the help of their sighted friends and neighbors and I made the
> mistake of generalizing this.
>
> Thank you for the rest of your answers, they were really helpful. But I
> wanted to clarify a few things.
>
> The same set of questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted parents.
>
> For example, my intention was not to imply that there is a problem
> providing
> safety but to inquire if you faced any safety issues personally.
> They are multiple safety hazards to infants in general and my aim was to
> find out if there is any major difference between the way Blind Parents and
> Sighted Parents take care of their infants.
>
> Okay, this explanation gives a better perspective, thank you.  You are
> right.  Parenting is not that much different for blind parents than sighted
> parents.
>
> As for the question about the most worrisome part of raising an infant, I
> was just aiming at the psychology of the parent and not attacking a problem
> in any way. For example, several sighted parents replied with various
> answers such as Communication Gap, Making sure they are healthy, Facing the
> unknown, Night shifts etc. Hence, it was just a question to see how you as
> a
> parent (irrespective of being Blind or not) felt while raising your kids.
> I am sure you had some anxieties as well and that is what I was hoping to
> understand.
>
> No anxieties here, just trying to set the record straight.  All couples,
> blind or sighted, are going to look at parenting differently.  For us, my
> husband and I had been married almost six years when our first was born.
> We
> were anticipating her birth and planning for it.  Both he and I had been
> working.  Then he got a job with a much higher salary in a different state,
> so we moved, and this allowed me to stay at home.  So we had good
> circumstances that allowed us to enjoy the process of having a baby and
> raising her.
>
> When pregnant with our second, we were getting ready to move again.  BTW,
> we
> did have a sighted friend's help as moving truck driver.  My husband and I
> did all the packing ourselves and hauling.  My husband and his friend drove
> the truck with our furniture, as we were again moving to another state, and
> my toddler and I took a plane where friends met us at the airport, then met
> up with my husband later.  My husband had already found us a house, so all
> we had to do was move in, which is a good thing, because I was sick with
> being pregnant with my second.  My husband was very supportive and very
> good
> in caring for our girls when toddlers.
>
> Nonetheless, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiments in anyway by making any
> assumptions. But I am so glad that you replied as now I have a more clear
> picture of my topic. Thank you so much for taking out the time to read this
> long email and patiently reply to all my queries.
>
> Never worry about asking the blindness questions on this list.  People are
> open and very glad to share.  It is best to educate the sighted in any way
> we can, and we are all willing to do so.  As far as I am concerned, there
> is
> no wrong question.
>
>
> I am eagerly waiting for more responses.
>
> To the other readers,
>
> I would like to reiterate to the others that personally I strongly believe
> that Blind Parents are 100% capable to raise their infants. I am just
> reaching out to understand if there are any problems or not and want to
> clear out any assumptions.
>
> The following questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted Parents and
> in no way are singling out Blind Parents by assuming that they will
> definitely have problems. These questions are to understand more about your
> Psychology as a parent more than anything else.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
> facedwhile
> raising your infant?4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep
> your infant safe?5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an
> infant?6. What are some solutions you would suggest?7. Would you like to
> say
> anything apart from the questions?*
>
> Thank you once again for your valuable time.
>
> Alomi Parikh
>
> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 9:09 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> > Hello,
> >
> > Thank you for contacting this list.
> >
> > First of all, are you blind?  I also take it that at your age, you are
> > not yet a parent possibly?
> >
> > You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the
> > blind parents do need some sighted assistance.  Not so.
> >
> > My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are now
> > successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance.  I will
> > qualify that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.  We are
> > very social, and our girls have been also.  As a natural part of
> > friendships, we would do things for each other.  I would bake cookies,
> > or watch other sighted friends' kids, for instance.  The sighted
> > parents might take my kids somewhere, because they could drive.  But
> > we also took our kids places on the bus.  We did not have sighted help
> > based on our blindness.  We would do things for each other as a
> > natural result of being friends and filling a need.
> >
> > We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once.  Most of the time
> > we hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would congregate
> > in kid-friendly places, because we wanted to.  We were very
> > independent with our kids, using either cabs or buses to get them
> > where they needed to go, and we took other sighted parents' kids with
> > us, if their parents did not have the time or ability to drive them.
> >
> > To address your issues.  Child safety is always of concern to parents,
> > not just to blind parents.  Providing that safety is not visual, but
> > common sense.  Again, you are making some underlying assumptions that
> > are not necessarily true.  Blind or sighted, you need to be aware of
> > your environment, your child's environment, and be in tune with your
> > child.  We were aware of safety precautions we would need to take, and
> > took them.  A child who is choking is not going to just sit there and
> > choke.  He will be moving and showing other signs of distress, making
> > some noises, breathing changes.  Granted, blind parents cannot see
> > skin pallor, but there are so many other symptoms that go along with what
> is going on with the child.
> > I'm
> > speaking from experience.
> >
> > The answer to your second question is obvious.  I would resolve the
> > first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of
> > the incident.  It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take that
> > and first aid classes that are offered in communities.
> >
> > The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from seeing
> > a sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers' shoes so we
> > could hear where they are.  Another thing we did, if we called for the
> > child and they did not respond, we would take it on ourselves to go
> > find them.  When we did, we would be very matter-of-fact and say
> > something like, Oh, there you are, and not make a big deal out of it.
> > We took control by finding the child ourselves, and not giving child
> > the control to come to us when they felt like it.  A great behavior to
> > practice.  By the way, I learned that one at guide dog school years
> > before we had children.  (smiles)
> >
> > Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in
> > providing safety.  There are not.  The answer is prevention.  There
> > are priorities of providing safety.  As a blindparent of a toddler,
> > you cannot just sit in a chair, and tell toddler to come to you.  You
> > need to be on your feet with that toddler when he is exploring, when
> > not by your side.  That alone will eliminate a lot of safety issues.
> > Your child is your responsibility, not someone else's.
> >
> > Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is true
> > of blind parents as well as sighted parents.  We all do what we can to
> > make any hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in the first
> > place and thinking ahead.
> >
> > Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case, that
> > it was worrisome raising kids.  It was not.  It was delightful, lots
> > of hard work, but we enjoyed it.
> >
> >  Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact
> > that the parents are blind.  I can tell you also from my experience of
> > grown sighted kids that they will tell you the same thing.
> >
> > Judy
> >
> >
> >
> > From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
> > Parikh via BlParent
> > Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
> > To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> > Cc: Alomi Parikh
> > Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
> >
> > Hello
> >
> > Respected Sir/Madam,
> >
> > I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University in
> > Pune, India.
> >
> > I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college project.
> >
> > While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and wholly
> > capable of raising their own children, society may think otherwise.
> > However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully
> > capable, they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain
> > reasons which curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to
> > realise that raising an infant is the most difficult part and there are
> multiple safety hazards.
> >
> > After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to
> > work with as the following:
> >
> > Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants
> > (0-12 months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly
> > visual symptoms.
> > A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it
> > difficult to diagnose this problem or may require the help of sighted
> > friends and family.
> > I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to realize
> > what is wrong with their child and be able to take the necessary
> > actions, by themselves or just like any other sighted parent.
> >
> > I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and
> > sincerely hope you can help and guide me through this.
> >
> > 1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you would
> > like to add about this topic?
> >
> > 2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or
> > suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?
> >
> > 3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of such
> > a situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind of
> > solutions or tactics you use.
> >
> > 3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you faced
> > while raising your infant?
> >
> > 4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant safe?
> >
> > 5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?
> >
> > 6. What are some solutions you would suggest?
> >
> > 7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?
> >
> > I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.
> >
> > Thank you for your valuable time and help.
> >
> > Alomi Parikh
> > _______________________________________________
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> > m
> >
> >
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