[blparent] (no subject)
Tara Wiseman
thflute at gmail.com
Tue May 16 12:48:57 UTC 2017
Hi Alomi I run a podcast called ability stories. On my podcast, I have interviewed a couple of people in which parenting with out site comes up. In addition, there is an episode where I, Who am blind, and my husband, who has a disability, talk about what it is like to be parents. I wish you all the best in your project and let me know if I can be of further assistance. I really admire you for asking questions and having an open mind!
Check out my podcast found at:abilitystories.podbean.com and on iTunes
> On May 15, 2017, at 6:21 PM, Steve Jacobson via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> I probably should explain that this person did write to mee asking that I
> forward the original note to the list. I suggested that she or he just
> subscribe. I did not expect there would be so many notes, but it seemed to
> be from our correspondence that there was a genuine interest to learn. I
> will be honest, I tend not to take most surveys that come my way because
> there are so many, but I know that many people don't mind. Therefore, I
> feel it is reasonable to let each of you decide. I think there is a fine
> line between biases and simply not thinking things through rationally. For
> example, it always winds me up a little when people wonder how we detect
> that a child is choking when we can't see the visual effects. It seems odd
> to me that it never occurs to people that by the time a child exhibits
> behavior or starts turning a different color it is because the child has
> already been choking for a few seconds. If one is in tune with their child,
> they may well hear their child stop breathing well before visual effects are
> even noticed. People tend to have a perspective that is based upon what
> they are familiar with. It doesn't occur to them that there may well be
> auditory indications that become apparent before the visual ones. That is
> not to say that having the ability to see what is happening would not be
> useful, but there are other ways to deal with most problems.
>
> Since I don't know the details of the person's background who is doing the
> surveying, I think it makes sense to be respectful and participate in the
> survey if one has the time and the inclination. If this process dominates
> the list too long, we'll figure something out.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Steve Jacobson, List Moderator
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy Jones
> via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 4:26 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>
> I do question that she is a design student, yet doing this research on
> parenting. She did not mention in the original e-mail that she is asking
> both blind and sighted parents. I guess I'm one of the suckers that
> answered her questions, but did it in the interest of, as always, debunking
> myths and stereotypes about blind persons. (smiles)
>
> Interesting observations.
>
> Judy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer
> via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:20 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Cc: Star Gazer
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>
> If you are interested in
> Sharon's course, why not sign up? You are free to do that as is anybody else
> who is interested.
> Is it just me, or do we have a college kid who is trying to take the "barely
> legal" way out of doing an assignment?
> Think about it, all she needs to do is copy and paste any responses she gets
> and hand them into her professor. She doesn't even have to hand key the
> responses.
> I also don't believe for a minute that you asked these same questions of
> sighted parents, and that you approached them with the same bias you have
> approached blind parents. You knew you would get the type of responses you
> did when you coupled it wht a bias that you may believe, or you may not
> believe. Point is, you just got a few nice ladies, and probably a lot of
> suckers to do your homework for you.
> You do realize that some of your questions apply to women who experience
> postpardum depression and/or anxiety, and that sight or lack thereof has
> nothing to do with it? You do realize that there are a boat load of
> industries that exist to support and assist families with infants. And, you
> do realize that there are not enough blind people having children to sustain
> these industries, right?
> You need to grow up, have some experiences, have children (because that's
> when you will discover you don't know what you think you know) and come back
> in a few years. Your homework is due soon, so I doubt you will do this.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
> Parikh via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:06 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Alomi Parikh <alomiparikh24 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>
> Hi Sharon,
>
> Yes, I came across your course on your website and am extremely interested
> in knowing what and how you teach in this course. I completely understand if
> you cannot disclose details but a brief explanation would be a great start!
> I will definitely try and work on the perspective aspect that you mentioned.
>
> Thank you so much for replying and getting back to me!
>
> Regards,
> Alomi Parikh
>
> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 10:55 PM, Sharon Howerton via BlParent <
> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
>> Alomi, thank you for your questions. I work for the Hadley Institute
>> for the Blind and Visually Impaired and teach a three course parenting
>> series. We have students from all over the world, and I have had one
>> or two students from India who have taken the parenting courses with
>> me. I think the lifestyle in India may be different from what we
>> experience in the US where Indian parents may live with extended
>> family, for example, and some blind people in India may live
>> differently than we do as well. I would encourage you to get a lot
>> more information about blind parenting from both the American and
>> Indian perspective, for example, but first you might want to learn
>> about perceptions of blind individuals as this may be impacted by the
>> culture of one's country.
>> Good luck.
>> Sharon Howerton
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
>> Parikh via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 11:06 AM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>>
>> Hi Judy,
>>
>> First of all, I'd like to heartily thank you for contacting me.
>> Secondly, I am extremely sorry if my assumptions hurt you in any way,
>> it was not my intention.
>>
>> I am also sorry I didn't make this clear, but no, I am not blind. I
>> have contacted the list to get a better insight and first hand reports
>> that would help me in my project. And yes, I am not a parent.
>>
>> I spoke to a couple of Blind Parents from India and they indicated
>> that they often had the help of their sighted friends and neighbors
>> and I made the mistake of generalizing this.
>>
>> Thank you for the rest of your answers, they were really helpful. But
>> I wanted to clarify a few things.
>>
>> The same set of questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted parents.
>>
>> For example, my intention was not to imply that there is a problem
>> providing safety but to inquire if you faced any safety issues
>> personally.
>> They are multiple safety hazards to infants in general and my aim was
>> to find out if there is any major difference between the way Blind
>> Parents and Sighted Parents take care of their infants.
>>
>> As for the question about the most worrisome part of raising an
>> infant, I was just aiming at the psychology of the parent and not
>> attacking a problem in any way. For example, several sighted parents
>> replied with various answers such as Communication Gap, Making sure
>> they are healthy, Facing the unknown, Night shifts etc. Hence, it was
>> just a question to see how you as a parent (irrespective of being
>> Blind or not) felt while raising your kids.
>> I am sure you had some anxieties as well and that is what I was hoping
>> to understand.
>>
>> Nonetheless, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiments in anyway by making
>> any assumptions. But I am so glad that you replied as now I have a
>> more clear picture of my topic. Thank you so much for taking out the
>> time to read this long email and patiently reply to all my queries.
>>
>> I am eagerly waiting for more responses.
>>
>> To the other readers,
>>
>> I would like to reiterate to the others that personally I strongly
>> believe that Blind Parents are 100% capable to raise their infants. I
>> am just reaching out to understand if there are any problems or not
>> and want to clear out any assumptions.
>>
>> The following questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted
>> Parents and in no way are singling out Blind Parents by assuming that
>> they will definitely have problems. These questions are to understand
>> more about your Psychology as a parent more than anything else.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> *3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
>> facedwhile raising your infant?4. What are some unconventional methods
>> you use to keep your infant safe?5. What is/was the most worrisome
>> part of raising an infant?6. What are some solutions you would
>> suggest?7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?*
>>
>> Thank you once again for your valuable time.
>>
>> Alomi Parikh
>>
>> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 9:09 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
>> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>>> Hello,
>>>
>>> Thank you for contacting this list.
>>>
>>> First of all, are you blind? I also take it that at your age, you
>>> are not yet a parent possibly?
>>>
>>> You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the
>>> blind parents do need some sighted assistance. Not so.
>>>
>>> My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are
>>> now successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance. I
>>> will qualify that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.
>>> We are very social, and our girls have been also. As a natural part
>>> of friendships, we would do things for each other. I would bake
>>> cookies, or watch other sighted friends' kids, for instance. The
>>> sighted parents might take my kids somewhere, because they could
>>> drive. But we also took our kids places on the bus. We did not
>>> have sighted help based on our blindness. We would do things for
>>> each other as a natural result of being friends and filling a need.
>>>
>>> We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once. Most of the
>>> time we hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would
>>> congregate in kid-friendly places, because we wanted to. We were
>>> very independent with our kids, using either cabs or buses to get
>>> them where they needed to go, and we took other sighted parents'
>>> kids with us, if their parents did not have the time or ability to
>>> drive
> them.
>>>
>>> To address your issues. Child safety is always of concern to
>>> parents, not just to blind parents. Providing that safety is not
>>> visual, but common sense. Again, you are making some underlying
>>> assumptions that are not necessarily true. Blind or sighted, you
>>> need to be aware of your environment, your child's environment, and
>>> be in tune with your child. We were aware of safety precautions we
>>> would need to take, and took them. A child who is choking is not
>>> going to just sit there and choke. He will be moving and showing
>>> other signs of distress, making some noises, breathing changes.
>>> Granted, blind parents cannot see skin pallor, but there are so many
>>> other symptoms that go along with what
>> is going on with the child.
>>> I'm
>>> speaking from experience.
>>>
>>> The answer to your second question is obvious. I would resolve the
>>> first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of
>>> the incident. It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take
>>> that and first aid classes that are offered in communities.
>>>
>>> The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from
>>> seeing a sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers'
>>> shoes so we could hear where they are. Another thing we did, if we
>>> called for the child and they did not respond, we would take it on
>>> ourselves to go find them. When we did, we would be very
>>> matter-of-fact and say something like, Oh, there you are, and not
>>> make a
> big deal out of it.
>>> We took control by finding the child ourselves, and not giving child
>>> the control to come to us when they felt like it. A great behavior
>>> to practice. By the way, I learned that one at guide dog school
>>> years before we had children. (smiles)
>>>
>>> Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in
>>> providing safety. There are not. The answer is prevention. There
>>> are priorities of providing safety. As a blindparent of a toddler,
>>> you cannot just sit in a chair, and tell toddler to come to you.
>>> You need to be on your feet with that toddler when he is exploring,
>>> when not by your side. That alone will eliminate a lot of safety
> issues.
>>> Your child is your responsibility, not someone else's.
>>>
>>> Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is
>>> true of blind parents as well as sighted parents. We all do what we
>>> can to make any hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in
>>> the first place and thinking ahead.
>>>
>>> Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case,
>>> that it was worrisome raising kids. It was not. It was delightful,
>>> lots of hard work, but we enjoyed it.
>>>
>>> Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact
>>> that the parents are blind. I can tell you also from my experience
>>> of grown sighted kids that they will tell you the same thing.
>>>
>>> Judy
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>> Alomi Parikh via BlParent
>>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>>> Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
>>>
>>> Hello
>>>
>>> Respected Sir/Madam,
>>>
>>> I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University
>>> in Pune, India.
>>>
>>> I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college
> project.
>>>
>>> While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and
>>> wholly capable of raising their own children, society may think
> otherwise.
>>> However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully
>>> capable, they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain
>>> reasons which curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to
>>> realise that raising an infant is the most difficult part and there
>>> are
>> multiple safety hazards.
>>>
>>> After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to
>>> work with as the following:
>>>
>>> Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants
>>> (0-12 months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly
>>> visual symptoms.
>>> A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it
>>> difficult to diagnose this problem or may require the help of
>>> sighted friends and family.
>>> I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to
>>> realize what is wrong with their child and be able to take the
>>> necessary actions, by themselves or just like any other sighted parent.
>>>
>>> I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and
>>> sincerely hope you can help and guide me through this.
>>>
>>> 1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you
>>> would like to add about this topic?
>>>
>>> 2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or
>>> suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?
>>>
>>> 3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of
>>> such a situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind
>>> of solutions or tactics you use.
>>>
>>> 3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
>>> faced while raising your infant?
>>>
>>> 4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant
> safe?
>>>
>>> 5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?
>>>
>>> 6. What are some solutions you would suggest?
>>>
>>> 7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?
>>>
>>> I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.
>>>
>>> Thank you for your valuable time and help.
>>>
>>> Alomi Parikh
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