[blparent] (no subject)

Tue May 16 12:48:57 UTC 2017

Hi Alomi I run a podcast called ability stories. On my podcast, I have interviewed a couple of people in which parenting with out site comes up. In addition, there is an episode where I, Who am blind, and my husband, who has a disability, talk about what it is like to be parents. I wish you all the best in your project and let me know if I can be of further assistance. I really admire you for asking questions and having an open mind!

Check out my podcast found at:abilitystories.podbean.com and on iTunes

> On May 15, 2017, at 6:21 PM, Steve Jacobson via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I probably should explain that this person did write to mee asking that I
> forward the original note to the list.  I suggested that she or he just
> subscribe.  I did not expect there would be so many notes, but it seemed to
> be from our correspondence that there was a genuine interest to learn.  I
> will be honest, I tend not to take most surveys that come my way because
> there are so many, but I know that many people don't mind.  Therefore, I
> feel it is reasonable to let each of you decide.  I think there is a fine
> line between biases and simply not thinking things through rationally.  For
> example, it always winds me up a little when people wonder how we detect
> that a child is choking when we can't see the visual effects.  It seems odd
> to me that it never occurs to people that by the time a child exhibits
> behavior or starts turning a different color it is because the child has
> already been choking for a few seconds.  If one is in tune with their child,
> they may well hear their child stop breathing well before visual effects are
> even noticed.  People tend to have a perspective that is based upon what
> they are familiar with.  It doesn't occur to them that there may well be
> auditory indications that become apparent before the visual ones.  That is
> not to say that having the ability to see what is happening would not be
> useful, but there are other ways to deal with most problems.
> 
> Since I don't know the details of the person's background who is doing the
> surveying, I think it makes sense to be respectful and participate in the
> survey if one has the time and the inclination.  If this process dominates
> the list too long, we'll figure something out.
> 
> Best regards,
> 
> Steve Jacobson, List Moderator
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy Jones
> via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 4:26 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
> 
> I do question that she is a design student, yet doing this research on
> parenting.  She did not mention in the original e-mail that she is asking
> both blind and sighted parents.  I guess I'm one of the suckers that
> answered her questions, but did it in the interest of, as always, debunking
> myths and stereotypes about blind persons.  (smiles)
> 
> Interesting observations.
> 
> Judy
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer
> via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:20 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Cc: Star Gazer
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
> 
>                        If you are interested in
> Sharon's course, why not sign up? You are free to do that as is anybody else
> who is interested. 
> Is it just me, or do we have a college kid who is trying to take the "barely
> legal" way out of doing an assignment? 
> Think about it, all she needs to do is copy and paste any responses she gets
> and hand them into her professor. She doesn't even have to hand key the
> responses. 
> I also don't believe for a minute that you asked these same questions of
> sighted parents, and that you approached them with the same bias you have
> approached blind parents.  You knew you would get the type of responses you
> did when you coupled it wht a bias that you may believe, or you may not
> believe. Point is, you just got a few nice ladies, and probably a lot of
> suckers to do your homework for you. 
> You do realize that some of your questions apply to women who experience
> postpardum depression and/or anxiety, and that sight or lack thereof has
> nothing to do with it? You do realize that there are a boat load of
> industries that exist to support and assist families with infants. And, you
> do realize that there are not enough blind people having children to sustain
> these industries, right? 
> You need to grow up, have some experiences, have children (because that's
> when you will discover you don't know what you think you know) and come back
> in a few years. Your homework is due soon, so I doubt you will do this. 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
> Parikh via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:06 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Alomi Parikh <alomiparikh24 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
> 
> Hi Sharon,
> 
> Yes, I came across your course on your website and am extremely interested
> in knowing what and how you teach in this course. I completely understand if
> you cannot disclose details but a brief explanation would be a great start!
> I will definitely try and work on the perspective aspect that you mentioned.
> 
> Thank you so much for replying and getting back to me!
> 
> Regards,
> Alomi Parikh
> 
> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 10:55 PM, Sharon Howerton via BlParent <
> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
>> Alomi, thank you for your questions. I work for the Hadley Institute 
>> for the Blind and Visually Impaired and teach a three course parenting 
>> series. We have students from all over the world, and I have had one 
>> or two students from India who have taken the parenting courses with 
>> me. I think the lifestyle in India may be different from what we 
>> experience in the US where Indian parents may live with extended 
>> family, for example, and some blind people in India may live 
>> differently than we do as well. I would encourage you to get a lot 
>> more information about blind parenting from both the American and 
>> Indian perspective, for example, but first you might want to learn 
>> about perceptions of blind individuals as this may be impacted by the 
>> culture of one's country.
>> Good luck.
>> Sharon Howerton
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi 
>> Parikh via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 11:06 AM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>> 
>> Hi Judy,
>> 
>> First of all, I'd like to heartily thank you for contacting me.
>> Secondly, I am extremely sorry if my assumptions hurt you in any way, 
>> it was not my intention.
>> 
>> I am also sorry I didn't make this clear, but no, I am not blind. I 
>> have contacted the list to get a better insight and first hand reports 
>> that would help me in my project. And yes, I am not a parent.
>> 
>> I spoke to a couple of Blind Parents from India and they indicated 
>> that they often had the help of their sighted friends and neighbors 
>> and I made the mistake of generalizing this.
>> 
>> Thank you for the rest of your answers, they were really helpful. But 
>> I wanted to clarify a few things.
>> 
>> The same set of questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted parents.
>> 
>> For example, my intention was not to imply that there is a problem 
>> providing safety but to inquire if you faced any safety issues 
>> personally.
>> They are multiple safety hazards to infants in general and my aim was 
>> to find out if there is any major difference between the way Blind 
>> Parents and Sighted Parents take care of their infants.
>> 
>> As for the question about the most worrisome part of raising an 
>> infant, I was just aiming at the psychology of the parent and not 
>> attacking a problem in any way. For example, several sighted parents 
>> replied with various answers such as Communication Gap, Making sure 
>> they are healthy, Facing the unknown, Night shifts etc. Hence, it was 
>> just a question to see how you as a parent (irrespective of being 
>> Blind or not) felt while raising your kids.
>> I am sure you had some anxieties as well and that is what I was hoping 
>> to understand.
>> 
>> Nonetheless, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiments in anyway by making 
>> any assumptions. But I am so glad that you replied as now I have a 
>> more clear picture of my topic. Thank you so much for taking out the 
>> time to read this long email and patiently reply to all my queries.
>> 
>> I am eagerly waiting for more responses.
>> 
>> To the other readers,
>> 
>> I would like to reiterate to the others that personally I strongly 
>> believe that Blind Parents are 100% capable to raise their infants. I 
>> am just reaching out to understand if there are any problems or not 
>> and want to clear out any assumptions.
>> 
>> The following questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted 
>> Parents and in no way are singling out Blind Parents by assuming that 
>> they will definitely have problems. These questions are to understand 
>> more about your Psychology as a parent more than anything else.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> *3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you 
>> facedwhile raising your infant?4. What are some unconventional methods 
>> you use to keep your infant safe?5. What is/was the most worrisome 
>> part of raising an infant?6. What are some solutions you would 
>> suggest?7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?*
>> 
>> Thank you once again for your valuable time.
>> 
>> Alomi Parikh
>> 
>> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 9:09 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent < 
>> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>>> Hello,
>>> 
>>> Thank you for contacting this list.
>>> 
>>> First of all, are you blind?  I also take it that at your age, you 
>>> are not yet a parent possibly?
>>> 
>>> You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the 
>>> blind parents do need some sighted assistance.  Not so.
>>> 
>>> My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are 
>>> now successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance.  I 
>>> will qualify that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.
>>> We are very social, and our girls have been also.  As a natural part 
>>> of friendships, we would do things for each other.  I would bake 
>>> cookies, or watch other sighted friends' kids, for instance.  The 
>>> sighted parents might take my kids somewhere, because they could 
>>> drive.  But we also took our kids places on the bus.  We did not 
>>> have sighted help based on our blindness.  We would do things for 
>>> each other as a natural result of being friends and filling a need.
>>> 
>>> We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once.  Most of the 
>>> time we hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would 
>>> congregate in kid-friendly places, because we wanted to.  We were 
>>> very independent with our kids, using either cabs or buses to get 
>>> them where they needed to go, and we took other sighted parents'
>>> kids with us, if their parents did not have the time or ability to 
>>> drive
> them.
>>> 
>>> To address your issues.  Child safety is always of concern to 
>>> parents, not just to blind parents.  Providing that safety is not 
>>> visual, but common sense.  Again, you are making some underlying 
>>> assumptions that are not necessarily true.  Blind or sighted, you 
>>> need to be aware of your environment, your child's environment, and 
>>> be in tune with your child.  We were aware of safety precautions we 
>>> would need to take, and took them.  A child who is choking is not 
>>> going to just sit there and choke.  He will be moving and showing 
>>> other signs of distress, making some noises, breathing changes.
>>> Granted, blind parents cannot see skin pallor, but there are so many 
>>> other symptoms that go along with what
>> is going on with the child.
>>> I'm
>>> speaking from experience.
>>> 
>>> The answer to your second question is obvious.  I would resolve the 
>>> first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of 
>>> the incident.  It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take 
>>> that and first aid classes that are offered in communities.
>>> 
>>> The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from 
>>> seeing a sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers'
>>> shoes so we could hear where they are.  Another thing we did, if we 
>>> called for the child and they did not respond, we would take it on 
>>> ourselves to go find them.  When we did, we would be very 
>>> matter-of-fact and say something like, Oh, there you are, and not 
>>> make a
> big deal out of it.
>>> We took control by finding the child ourselves, and not giving child 
>>> the control to come to us when they felt like it.  A great behavior 
>>> to practice.  By the way, I learned that one at guide dog school 
>>> years before we had children.  (smiles)
>>> 
>>> Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in 
>>> providing safety.  There are not.  The answer is prevention.  There 
>>> are priorities of providing safety.  As a blindparent of a toddler, 
>>> you cannot just sit in a chair, and tell toddler to come to you.
>>> You need to be on your feet with that toddler when he is exploring, 
>>> when not by your side.  That alone will eliminate a lot of safety
> issues.
>>> Your child is your responsibility, not someone else's.
>>> 
>>> Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is 
>>> true of blind parents as well as sighted parents.  We all do what we 
>>> can to make any hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in 
>>> the first place and thinking ahead.
>>> 
>>> Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case, 
>>> that it was worrisome raising kids.  It was not.  It was delightful, 
>>> lots of hard work, but we enjoyed it.
>>> 
>>> Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact 
>>> that the parents are blind.  I can tell you also from my experience 
>>> of grown sighted kids that they will tell you the same thing.
>>> 
>>> Judy
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>> Alomi Parikh via BlParent
>>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>>> Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
>>> 
>>> Hello
>>> 
>>> Respected Sir/Madam,
>>> 
>>> I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University 
>>> in Pune, India.
>>> 
>>> I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college
> project.
>>> 
>>> While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and 
>>> wholly capable of raising their own children, society may think
> otherwise.
>>> However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully 
>>> capable, they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain 
>>> reasons which curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to 
>>> realise that raising an infant is the most difficult part and there 
>>> are
>> multiple safety hazards.
>>> 
>>> After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to 
>>> work with as the following:
>>> 
>>> Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants
>>> (0-12 months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly 
>>> visual symptoms.
>>> A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it 
>>> difficult to diagnose this problem or may require the help of 
>>> sighted friends and family.
>>> I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to 
>>> realize what is wrong with their child and be able to take the 
>>> necessary actions, by themselves or just like any other sighted parent.
>>> 
>>> I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and 
>>> sincerely hope you can help and guide me through this.
>>> 
>>> 1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you 
>>> would like to add about this topic?
>>> 
>>> 2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or 
>>> suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?
>>> 
>>> 3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of 
>>> such a situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind 
>>> of solutions or tactics you use.
>>> 
>>> 3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you 
>>> faced while raising your infant?
>>> 
>>> 4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant
> safe?
>>> 
>>> 5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?
>>> 
>>> 6. What are some solutions you would suggest?
>>> 
>>> 7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?
>>> 
>>> I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.
>>> 
>>> Thank you for your valuable time and help.
>>> 
>>> Alomi Parikh
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>> m
>>> 
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