[blparent] (no subject)

Tue May 16 18:17:05 UTC 2017

HI Tara,

Thank you for sharing this information with me. I will definitely listen to
the podcasts and hope to get more insight. If i have any further questions,
would it be alright to personally email you?

Thank you anyway!

Regards,
Alomi Parikh

On Tue, May 16, 2017 at 6:18 PM, Tara Wiseman via BlParent <
blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> Hi Alomi I run a podcast called ability stories. On my podcast, I have
> interviewed a couple of people in which parenting with out site comes up.
> In addition, there is an episode where I, Who am blind, and my husband, who
> has a disability, talk about what it is like to be parents. I wish you all
> the best in your project and let me know if I can be of further assistance.
> I really admire you for asking questions and having an open mind!
>
> Check out my podcast found at:abilitystories.podbean.com and on iTunes
>
> > On May 15, 2017, at 6:21 PM, Steve Jacobson via BlParent <
> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> > I probably should explain that this person did write to mee asking that I
> > forward the original note to the list.  I suggested that she or he just
> > subscribe.  I did not expect there would be so many notes, but it seemed
> to
> > be from our correspondence that there was a genuine interest to learn.  I
> > will be honest, I tend not to take most surveys that come my way because
> > there are so many, but I know that many people don't mind.  Therefore, I
> > feel it is reasonable to let each of you decide.  I think there is a fine
> > line between biases and simply not thinking things through rationally.
> For
> > example, it always winds me up a little when people wonder how we detect
> > that a child is choking when we can't see the visual effects.  It seems
> odd
> > to me that it never occurs to people that by the time a child exhibits
> > behavior or starts turning a different color it is because the child has
> > already been choking for a few seconds.  If one is in tune with their
> child,
> > they may well hear their child stop breathing well before visual effects
> are
> > even noticed.  People tend to have a perspective that is based upon what
> > they are familiar with.  It doesn't occur to them that there may well be
> > auditory indications that become apparent before the visual ones.  That
> is
> > not to say that having the ability to see what is happening would not be
> > useful, but there are other ways to deal with most problems.
> >
> > Since I don't know the details of the person's background who is doing
> the
> > surveying, I think it makes sense to be respectful and participate in the
> > survey if one has the time and the inclination.  If this process
> dominates
> > the list too long, we'll figure something out.
> >
> > Best regards,
> >
> > Steve Jacobson, List Moderator
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy
> Jones
> > via BlParent
> > Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 4:26 PM
> > To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
> >
> > I do question that she is a design student, yet doing this research on
> > parenting.  She did not mention in the original e-mail that she is asking
> > both blind and sighted parents.  I guess I'm one of the suckers that
> > answered her questions, but did it in the interest of, as always,
> debunking
> > myths and stereotypes about blind persons.  (smiles)
> >
> > Interesting observations.
> >
> > Judy
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star
> Gazer
> > via BlParent
> > Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:20 PM
> > To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> > Cc: Star Gazer
> > Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
> >
> >                        If you are interested in
> > Sharon's course, why not sign up? You are free to do that as is anybody
> else
> > who is interested.
> > Is it just me, or do we have a college kid who is trying to take the
> "barely
> > legal" way out of doing an assignment?
> > Think about it, all she needs to do is copy and paste any responses she
> gets
> > and hand them into her professor. She doesn't even have to hand key the
> > responses.
> > I also don't believe for a minute that you asked these same questions of
> > sighted parents, and that you approached them with the same bias you have
> > approached blind parents.  You knew you would get the type of responses
> you
> > did when you coupled it wht a bias that you may believe, or you may not
> > believe. Point is, you just got a few nice ladies, and probably a lot of
> > suckers to do your homework for you.
> > You do realize that some of your questions apply to women who experience
> > postpardum depression and/or anxiety, and that sight or lack thereof has
> > nothing to do with it? You do realize that there are a boat load of
> > industries that exist to support and assist families with infants. And,
> you
> > do realize that there are not enough blind people having children to
> sustain
> > these industries, right?
> > You need to grow up, have some experiences, have children (because that's
> > when you will discover you don't know what you think you know) and come
> back
> > in a few years. Your homework is due soon, so I doubt you will do this.
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
> > Parikh via BlParent
> > Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:06 PM
> > To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: Alomi Parikh <alomiparikh24 at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
> >
> > Hi Sharon,
> >
> > Yes, I came across your course on your website and am extremely
> interested
> > in knowing what and how you teach in this course. I completely
> understand if
> > you cannot disclose details but a brief explanation would be a great
> start!
> > I will definitely try and work on the perspective aspect that you
> mentioned.
> >
> > Thank you so much for replying and getting back to me!
> >
> > Regards,
> > Alomi Parikh
> >
> > On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 10:55 PM, Sharon Howerton via BlParent <
> > blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> >> Alomi, thank you for your questions. I work for the Hadley Institute
> >> for the Blind and Visually Impaired and teach a three course parenting
> >> series. We have students from all over the world, and I have had one
> >> or two students from India who have taken the parenting courses with
> >> me. I think the lifestyle in India may be different from what we
> >> experience in the US where Indian parents may live with extended
> >> family, for example, and some blind people in India may live
> >> differently than we do as well. I would encourage you to get a lot
> >> more information about blind parenting from both the American and
> >> Indian perspective, for example, but first you might want to learn
> >> about perceptions of blind individuals as this may be impacted by the
> >> culture of one's country.
> >> Good luck.
> >> Sharon Howerton
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
> >> Parikh via BlParent
> >> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 11:06 AM
> >> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> >> Cc: Alomi Parikh
> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
> >>
> >> Hi Judy,
> >>
> >> First of all, I'd like to heartily thank you for contacting me.
> >> Secondly, I am extremely sorry if my assumptions hurt you in any way,
> >> it was not my intention.
> >>
> >> I am also sorry I didn't make this clear, but no, I am not blind. I
> >> have contacted the list to get a better insight and first hand reports
> >> that would help me in my project. And yes, I am not a parent.
> >>
> >> I spoke to a couple of Blind Parents from India and they indicated
> >> that they often had the help of their sighted friends and neighbors
> >> and I made the mistake of generalizing this.
> >>
> >> Thank you for the rest of your answers, they were really helpful. But
> >> I wanted to clarify a few things.
> >>
> >> The same set of questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted
> parents.
> >>
> >> For example, my intention was not to imply that there is a problem
> >> providing safety but to inquire if you faced any safety issues
> >> personally.
> >> They are multiple safety hazards to infants in general and my aim was
> >> to find out if there is any major difference between the way Blind
> >> Parents and Sighted Parents take care of their infants.
> >>
> >> As for the question about the most worrisome part of raising an
> >> infant, I was just aiming at the psychology of the parent and not
> >> attacking a problem in any way. For example, several sighted parents
> >> replied with various answers such as Communication Gap, Making sure
> >> they are healthy, Facing the unknown, Night shifts etc. Hence, it was
> >> just a question to see how you as a parent (irrespective of being
> >> Blind or not) felt while raising your kids.
> >> I am sure you had some anxieties as well and that is what I was hoping
> >> to understand.
> >>
> >> Nonetheless, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiments in anyway by making
> >> any assumptions. But I am so glad that you replied as now I have a
> >> more clear picture of my topic. Thank you so much for taking out the
> >> time to read this long email and patiently reply to all my queries.
> >>
> >> I am eagerly waiting for more responses.
> >>
> >> To the other readers,
> >>
> >> I would like to reiterate to the others that personally I strongly
> >> believe that Blind Parents are 100% capable to raise their infants. I
> >> am just reaching out to understand if there are any problems or not
> >> and want to clear out any assumptions.
> >>
> >> The following questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted
> >> Parents and in no way are singling out Blind Parents by assuming that
> >> they will definitely have problems. These questions are to understand
> >> more about your Psychology as a parent more than anything else.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> *3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
> >> facedwhile raising your infant?4. What are some unconventional methods
> >> you use to keep your infant safe?5. What is/was the most worrisome
> >> part of raising an infant?6. What are some solutions you would
> >> suggest?7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?*
> >>
> >> Thank you once again for your valuable time.
> >>
> >> Alomi Parikh
> >>
> >> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 9:09 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
> >> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Hello,
> >>>
> >>> Thank you for contacting this list.
> >>>
> >>> First of all, are you blind?  I also take it that at your age, you
> >>> are not yet a parent possibly?
> >>>
> >>> You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the
> >>> blind parents do need some sighted assistance.  Not so.
> >>>
> >>> My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are
> >>> now successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance.  I
> >>> will qualify that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.
> >>> We are very social, and our girls have been also.  As a natural part
> >>> of friendships, we would do things for each other.  I would bake
> >>> cookies, or watch other sighted friends' kids, for instance.  The
> >>> sighted parents might take my kids somewhere, because they could
> >>> drive.  But we also took our kids places on the bus.  We did not
> >>> have sighted help based on our blindness.  We would do things for
> >>> each other as a natural result of being friends and filling a need.
> >>>
> >>> We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once.  Most of the
> >>> time we hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would
> >>> congregate in kid-friendly places, because we wanted to.  We were
> >>> very independent with our kids, using either cabs or buses to get
> >>> them where they needed to go, and we took other sighted parents'
> >>> kids with us, if their parents did not have the time or ability to
> >>> drive
> > them.
> >>>
> >>> To address your issues.  Child safety is always of concern to
> >>> parents, not just to blind parents.  Providing that safety is not
> >>> visual, but common sense.  Again, you are making some underlying
> >>> assumptions that are not necessarily true.  Blind or sighted, you
> >>> need to be aware of your environment, your child's environment, and
> >>> be in tune with your child.  We were aware of safety precautions we
> >>> would need to take, and took them.  A child who is choking is not
> >>> going to just sit there and choke.  He will be moving and showing
> >>> other signs of distress, making some noises, breathing changes.
> >>> Granted, blind parents cannot see skin pallor, but there are so many
> >>> other symptoms that go along with what
> >> is going on with the child.
> >>> I'm
> >>> speaking from experience.
> >>>
> >>> The answer to your second question is obvious.  I would resolve the
> >>> first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of
> >>> the incident.  It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take
> >>> that and first aid classes that are offered in communities.
> >>>
> >>> The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from
> >>> seeing a sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers'
> >>> shoes so we could hear where they are.  Another thing we did, if we
> >>> called for the child and they did not respond, we would take it on
> >>> ourselves to go find them.  When we did, we would be very
> >>> matter-of-fact and say something like, Oh, there you are, and not
> >>> make a
> > big deal out of it.
> >>> We took control by finding the child ourselves, and not giving child
> >>> the control to come to us when they felt like it.  A great behavior
> >>> to practice.  By the way, I learned that one at guide dog school
> >>> years before we had children.  (smiles)
> >>>
> >>> Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in
> >>> providing safety.  There are not.  The answer is prevention.  There
> >>> are priorities of providing safety.  As a blindparent of a toddler,
> >>> you cannot just sit in a chair, and tell toddler to come to you.
> >>> You need to be on your feet with that toddler when he is exploring,
> >>> when not by your side.  That alone will eliminate a lot of safety
> > issues.
> >>> Your child is your responsibility, not someone else's.
> >>>
> >>> Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is
> >>> true of blind parents as well as sighted parents.  We all do what we
> >>> can to make any hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in
> >>> the first place and thinking ahead.
> >>>
> >>> Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case,
> >>> that it was worrisome raising kids.  It was not.  It was delightful,
> >>> lots of hard work, but we enjoyed it.
> >>>
> >>> Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact
> >>> that the parents are blind.  I can tell you also from my experience
> >>> of grown sighted kids that they will tell you the same thing.
> >>>
> >>> Judy
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
> >>> Alomi Parikh via BlParent
> >>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
> >>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> >>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
> >>> Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
> >>>
> >>> Hello
> >>>
> >>> Respected Sir/Madam,
> >>>
> >>> I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University
> >>> in Pune, India.
> >>>
> >>> I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college
> > project.
> >>>
> >>> While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and
> >>> wholly capable of raising their own children, society may think
> > otherwise.
> >>> However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully
> >>> capable, they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain
> >>> reasons which curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to
> >>> realise that raising an infant is the most difficult part and there
> >>> are
> >> multiple safety hazards.
> >>>
> >>> After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to
> >>> work with as the following:
> >>>
> >>> Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants
> >>> (0-12 months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly
> >>> visual symptoms.
> >>> A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it
> >>> difficult to diagnose this problem or may require the help of
> >>> sighted friends and family.
> >>> I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to
> >>> realize what is wrong with their child and be able to take the
> >>> necessary actions, by themselves or just like any other sighted parent.
> >>>
> >>> I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and
> >>> sincerely hope you can help and guide me through this.
> >>>
> >>> 1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you
> >>> would like to add about this topic?
> >>>
> >>> 2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or
> >>> suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?
> >>>
> >>> 3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of
> >>> such a situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind
> >>> of solutions or tactics you use.
> >>>
> >>> 3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
> >>> faced while raising your infant?
> >>>
> >>> 4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant
> > safe?
> >>>
> >>> 5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?
> >>>
> >>> 6. What are some solutions you would suggest?
> >>>
> >>> 7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?
> >>>
> >>> I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.
> >>>
> >>> Thank you for your valuable time and help.
> >>>
> >>> Alomi Parikh
> >>> _______________________________________________
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> >>> sonshines59%40gmail.co
> >>> m
> >>>
> >>>
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