[blparent] (no subject)

tmcgee3917 tmcgee3917 at aol.com
Tue May 16 22:33:29 UTC 2017


Hello Alina, 
Here is a link to a news clip that I just did last week regarding blind mothering, maybe this will give you a glimpse into YouTube line moms and how they navigate the world using Guide dogs. I just want to echo let many of the blind parents on this thread have shared with you, there is no difference between a blind parent or a side and parent, parenting is hard work, dedication combined with lots of love.
I hope this helps you understand a little more bit more about blind parenting…
https://youtu.be/isaA-uF_lWk

Warmly,
Tracy Boyd
"If you dream it you can do it!" Walt Disney

> On May 16, 2017, at 5:48 AM, Tara Wiseman via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hi Alomi I run a podcast called ability stories. On my podcast, I have interviewed a couple of people in which parenting with out site comes up. In addition, there is an episode where I, Who am blind, and my husband, who has a disability, talk about what it is like to be parents. I wish you all the best in your project and let me know if I can be of further assistance. I really admire you for asking questions and having an open mind!
> 
> Check out my podcast found at:abilitystories.podbean.com and on iTunes
> 
>> On May 15, 2017, at 6:21 PM, Steve Jacobson via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> I probably should explain that this person did write to mee asking that I
>> forward the original note to the list.  I suggested that she or he just
>> subscribe.  I did not expect there would be so many notes, but it seemed to
>> be from our correspondence that there was a genuine interest to learn.  I
>> will be honest, I tend not to take most surveys that come my way because
>> there are so many, but I know that many people don't mind.  Therefore, I
>> feel it is reasonable to let each of you decide.  I think there is a fine
>> line between biases and simply not thinking things through rationally.  For
>> example, it always winds me up a little when people wonder how we detect
>> that a child is choking when we can't see the visual effects.  It seems odd
>> to me that it never occurs to people that by the time a child exhibits
>> behavior or starts turning a different color it is because the child has
>> already been choking for a few seconds.  If one is in tune with their child,
>> they may well hear their child stop breathing well before visual effects are
>> even noticed.  People tend to have a perspective that is based upon what
>> they are familiar with.  It doesn't occur to them that there may well be
>> auditory indications that become apparent before the visual ones.  That is
>> not to say that having the ability to see what is happening would not be
>> useful, but there are other ways to deal with most problems.
>> 
>> Since I don't know the details of the person's background who is doing the
>> surveying, I think it makes sense to be respectful and participate in the
>> survey if one has the time and the inclination.  If this process dominates
>> the list too long, we'll figure something out.
>> 
>> Best regards,
>> 
>> Steve Jacobson, List Moderator
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy Jones
>> via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 4:26 PM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>> 
>> I do question that she is a design student, yet doing this research on
>> parenting.  She did not mention in the original e-mail that she is asking
>> both blind and sighted parents.  I guess I'm one of the suckers that
>> answered her questions, but did it in the interest of, as always, debunking
>> myths and stereotypes about blind persons.  (smiles)
>> 
>> Interesting observations.
>> 
>> Judy
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer
>> via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:20 PM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Cc: Star Gazer
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>> 
>>                       If you are interested in
>> Sharon's course, why not sign up? You are free to do that as is anybody else
>> who is interested. 
>> Is it just me, or do we have a college kid who is trying to take the "barely
>> legal" way out of doing an assignment? 
>> Think about it, all she needs to do is copy and paste any responses she gets
>> and hand them into her professor. She doesn't even have to hand key the
>> responses. 
>> I also don't believe for a minute that you asked these same questions of
>> sighted parents, and that you approached them with the same bias you have
>> approached blind parents.  You knew you would get the type of responses you
>> did when you coupled it wht a bias that you may believe, or you may not
>> believe. Point is, you just got a few nice ladies, and probably a lot of
>> suckers to do your homework for you. 
>> You do realize that some of your questions apply to women who experience
>> postpardum depression and/or anxiety, and that sight or lack thereof has
>> nothing to do with it? You do realize that there are a boat load of
>> industries that exist to support and assist families with infants. And, you
>> do realize that there are not enough blind people having children to sustain
>> these industries, right? 
>> You need to grow up, have some experiences, have children (because that's
>> when you will discover you don't know what you think you know) and come back
>> in a few years. Your homework is due soon, so I doubt you will do this. 
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
>> Parikh via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:06 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Alomi Parikh <alomiparikh24 at gmail.com>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>> 
>> Hi Sharon,
>> 
>> Yes, I came across your course on your website and am extremely interested
>> in knowing what and how you teach in this course. I completely understand if
>> you cannot disclose details but a brief explanation would be a great start!
>> I will definitely try and work on the perspective aspect that you mentioned.
>> 
>> Thank you so much for replying and getting back to me!
>> 
>> Regards,
>> Alomi Parikh
>> 
>> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 10:55 PM, Sharon Howerton via BlParent <
>> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>>> Alomi, thank you for your questions. I work for the Hadley Institute 
>>> for the Blind and Visually Impaired and teach a three course parenting 
>>> series. We have students from all over the world, and I have had one 
>>> or two students from India who have taken the parenting courses with 
>>> me. I think the lifestyle in India may be different from what we 
>>> experience in the US where Indian parents may live with extended 
>>> family, for example, and some blind people in India may live 
>>> differently than we do as well. I would encourage you to get a lot 
>>> more information about blind parenting from both the American and 
>>> Indian perspective, for example, but first you might want to learn 
>>> about perceptions of blind individuals as this may be impacted by the 
>>> culture of one's country.
>>> Good luck.
>>> Sharon Howerton
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi 
>>> Parikh via BlParent
>>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 11:06 AM
>>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>>> 
>>> Hi Judy,
>>> 
>>> First of all, I'd like to heartily thank you for contacting me.
>>> Secondly, I am extremely sorry if my assumptions hurt you in any way, 
>>> it was not my intention.
>>> 
>>> I am also sorry I didn't make this clear, but no, I am not blind. I 
>>> have contacted the list to get a better insight and first hand reports 
>>> that would help me in my project. And yes, I am not a parent.
>>> 
>>> I spoke to a couple of Blind Parents from India and they indicated 
>>> that they often had the help of their sighted friends and neighbors 
>>> and I made the mistake of generalizing this.
>>> 
>>> Thank you for the rest of your answers, they were really helpful. But 
>>> I wanted to clarify a few things.
>>> 
>>> The same set of questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted parents.
>>> 
>>> For example, my intention was not to imply that there is a problem 
>>> providing safety but to inquire if you faced any safety issues 
>>> personally.
>>> They are multiple safety hazards to infants in general and my aim was 
>>> to find out if there is any major difference between the way Blind 
>>> Parents and Sighted Parents take care of their infants.
>>> 
>>> As for the question about the most worrisome part of raising an 
>>> infant, I was just aiming at the psychology of the parent and not 
>>> attacking a problem in any way. For example, several sighted parents 
>>> replied with various answers such as Communication Gap, Making sure 
>>> they are healthy, Facing the unknown, Night shifts etc. Hence, it was 
>>> just a question to see how you as a parent (irrespective of being 
>>> Blind or not) felt while raising your kids.
>>> I am sure you had some anxieties as well and that is what I was hoping 
>>> to understand.
>>> 
>>> Nonetheless, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiments in anyway by making 
>>> any assumptions. But I am so glad that you replied as now I have a 
>>> more clear picture of my topic. Thank you so much for taking out the 
>>> time to read this long email and patiently reply to all my queries.
>>> 
>>> I am eagerly waiting for more responses.
>>> 
>>> To the other readers,
>>> 
>>> I would like to reiterate to the others that personally I strongly 
>>> believe that Blind Parents are 100% capable to raise their infants. I 
>>> am just reaching out to understand if there are any problems or not 
>>> and want to clear out any assumptions.
>>> 
>>> The following questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted 
>>> Parents and in no way are singling out Blind Parents by assuming that 
>>> they will definitely have problems. These questions are to understand 
>>> more about your Psychology as a parent more than anything else.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> *3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you 
>>> facedwhile raising your infant?4. What are some unconventional methods 
>>> you use to keep your infant safe?5. What is/was the most worrisome 
>>> part of raising an infant?6. What are some solutions you would 
>>> suggest?7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?*
>>> 
>>> Thank you once again for your valuable time.
>>> 
>>> Alomi Parikh
>>> 
>>> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 9:09 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent < 
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> 
>>>> Hello,
>>>> 
>>>> Thank you for contacting this list.
>>>> 
>>>> First of all, are you blind?  I also take it that at your age, you 
>>>> are not yet a parent possibly?
>>>> 
>>>> You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the 
>>>> blind parents do need some sighted assistance.  Not so.
>>>> 
>>>> My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are 
>>>> now successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance.  I 
>>>> will qualify that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.
>>>> We are very social, and our girls have been also.  As a natural part 
>>>> of friendships, we would do things for each other.  I would bake 
>>>> cookies, or watch other sighted friends' kids, for instance.  The 
>>>> sighted parents might take my kids somewhere, because they could 
>>>> drive.  But we also took our kids places on the bus.  We did not 
>>>> have sighted help based on our blindness.  We would do things for 
>>>> each other as a natural result of being friends and filling a need.
>>>> 
>>>> We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once.  Most of the 
>>>> time we hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would 
>>>> congregate in kid-friendly places, because we wanted to.  We were 
>>>> very independent with our kids, using either cabs or buses to get 
>>>> them where they needed to go, and we took other sighted parents'
>>>> kids with us, if their parents did not have the time or ability to 
>>>> drive
>> them.
>>>> 
>>>> To address your issues.  Child safety is always of concern to 
>>>> parents, not just to blind parents.  Providing that safety is not 
>>>> visual, but common sense.  Again, you are making some underlying 
>>>> assumptions that are not necessarily true.  Blind or sighted, you 
>>>> need to be aware of your environment, your child's environment, and 
>>>> be in tune with your child.  We were aware of safety precautions we 
>>>> would need to take, and took them.  A child who is choking is not 
>>>> going to just sit there and choke.  He will be moving and showing 
>>>> other signs of distress, making some noises, breathing changes.
>>>> Granted, blind parents cannot see skin pallor, but there are so many 
>>>> other symptoms that go along with what
>>> is going on with the child.
>>>> I'm
>>>> speaking from experience.
>>>> 
>>>> The answer to your second question is obvious.  I would resolve the 
>>>> first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of 
>>>> the incident.  It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take 
>>>> that and first aid classes that are offered in communities.
>>>> 
>>>> The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from 
>>>> seeing a sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers'
>>>> shoes so we could hear where they are.  Another thing we did, if we 
>>>> called for the child and they did not respond, we would take it on 
>>>> ourselves to go find them.  When we did, we would be very 
>>>> matter-of-fact and say something like, Oh, there you are, and not 
>>>> make a
>> big deal out of it.
>>>> We took control by finding the child ourselves, and not giving child 
>>>> the control to come to us when they felt like it.  A great behavior 
>>>> to practice.  By the way, I learned that one at guide dog school 
>>>> years before we had children.  (smiles)
>>>> 
>>>> Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in 
>>>> providing safety.  There are not.  The answer is prevention.  There 
>>>> are priorities of providing safety.  As a blindparent of a toddler, 
>>>> you cannot just sit in a chair, and tell toddler to come to you.
>>>> You need to be on your feet with that toddler when he is exploring, 
>>>> when not by your side.  That alone will eliminate a lot of safety
>> issues.
>>>> Your child is your responsibility, not someone else's.
>>>> 
>>>> Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is 
>>>> true of blind parents as well as sighted parents.  We all do what we 
>>>> can to make any hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in 
>>>> the first place and thinking ahead.
>>>> 
>>>> Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case, 
>>>> that it was worrisome raising kids.  It was not.  It was delightful, 
>>>> lots of hard work, but we enjoyed it.
>>>> 
>>>> Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact 
>>>> that the parents are blind.  I can tell you also from my experience 
>>>> of grown sighted kids that they will tell you the same thing.
>>>> 
>>>> Judy
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>>> Alomi Parikh via BlParent
>>>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>>>> Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
>>>> 
>>>> Hello
>>>> 
>>>> Respected Sir/Madam,
>>>> 
>>>> I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University 
>>>> in Pune, India.
>>>> 
>>>> I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college
>> project.
>>>> 
>>>> While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and 
>>>> wholly capable of raising their own children, society may think
>> otherwise.
>>>> However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully 
>>>> capable, they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain 
>>>> reasons which curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to 
>>>> realise that raising an infant is the most difficult part and there 
>>>> are
>>> multiple safety hazards.
>>>> 
>>>> After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to 
>>>> work with as the following:
>>>> 
>>>> Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants
>>>> (0-12 months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly 
>>>> visual symptoms.
>>>> A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it 
>>>> difficult to diagnose this problem or may require the help of 
>>>> sighted friends and family.
>>>> I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to 
>>>> realize what is wrong with their child and be able to take the 
>>>> necessary actions, by themselves or just like any other sighted parent.
>>>> 
>>>> I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and 
>>>> sincerely hope you can help and guide me through this.
>>>> 
>>>> 1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you 
>>>> would like to add about this topic?
>>>> 
>>>> 2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or 
>>>> suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?
>>>> 
>>>> 3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of 
>>>> such a situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind 
>>>> of solutions or tactics you use.
>>>> 
>>>> 3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you 
>>>> faced while raising your infant?
>>>> 
>>>> 4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant
>> safe?
>>>> 
>>>> 5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?
>>>> 
>>>> 6. What are some solutions you would suggest?
>>>> 
>>>> 7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?
>>>> 
>>>> I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.
>>>> 
>>>> Thank you for your valuable time and help.
>>>> 
>>>> Alomi Parikh
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> m
>>>> 
>>>> 
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