[blparent] (no subject)
tmcgee3917
tmcgee3917 at aol.com
Tue May 16 23:03:57 UTC 2017
Here's another link to a series of blind parenting videos that might answer some of your questions.
https://youtu.be/HweTIwWOIh0
Warmly,
Tracy Boyd
"If you dream it you can do it!" Walt Disney
> On May 16, 2017, at 11:18 AM, Alomi Parikh via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> Yes I think I have concluded that as well.
>
> I am so glad I reached out and got these responses from all of you, it
> really widened my views.
>
> Thank you!
>
> On Tue, May 16, 2017 at 7:01 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
>> Blind parents just don't do that many things differently, so if you are
>> looking for that premise, it won't work.
>>
>> Judy
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
>> Parikh via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 9:45 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>>
>> Hi
>>
>> Thank you for choosing to reply to my questions
>>
>> Well I don't do surveys for people usually, but like it or not we do things
>> differently sometimes and sometimes it is related to being blind and other
>> times it is just what we choose to do as people.
>>
>> Could you please elaborate on what you do differently based on your
>> blindness? If you don't mind that is. It would really help me out a lot.
>>
>> Thank you
>>
>> Alomi Parikh
>>
>>
>> On May 16, 2017 6:01 AM, "DiannaAlley via BlParent" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>>
>> Well I don't do surveys for people usually, but like it or not we do things
>> differently sometimes and sometimes it is related to being blind and other
>> times it is just what we choose to do as people. I see no harm in the
>> survey. You either help or you don't. I don't worry about people
>> stereotyping me as a blind parent because they are going to do what they
>> want to do. I don't have time to worry about that stuff. I am too busy
>> just trying to be a parent in general and it ain't easy especially being a
>> single parent and that has nothing to do with my blindness in my opinion.
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Steve
>> Jacobson via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:22 PM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Steve Jacobson <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>>
>> I probably should explain that this person did write to mee asking that I
>> forward the original note to the list. I suggested that she or he just
>> subscribe. I did not expect there would be so many notes, but it seemed to
>> be from our correspondence that there was a genuine interest to learn. I
>> will be honest, I tend not to take most surveys that come my way because
>> there are so many, but I know that many people don't mind. Therefore, I
>> feel it is reasonable to let each of you decide. I think there is a fine
>> line between biases and simply not thinking things through rationally. For
>> example, it always winds me up a little when people wonder how we detect
>> that a child is choking when we can't see the visual effects. It seems odd
>> to me that it never occurs to people that by the time a child exhibits
>> behavior or starts turning a different color it is because the child has
>> already been choking for a few seconds. If one is in tune with their
>> child,
>> they may well hear their child stop breathing well before visual effects
>> are
>> even noticed. People tend to have a perspective that is based upon what
>> they are familiar with. It doesn't occur to them that there may well be
>> auditory indications that become apparent before the visual ones. That is
>> not to say that having the ability to see what is happening would not be
>> useful, but there are other ways to deal with most problems.
>>
>> Since I don't know the details of the person's background who is doing the
>> surveying, I think it makes sense to be respectful and participate in the
>> survey if one has the time and the inclination. If this process dominates
>> the list too long, we'll figure something out.
>>
>> Best regards,
>>
>> Steve Jacobson, List Moderator
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy
>> Jones
>> via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 4:26 PM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>>
>> I do question that she is a design student, yet doing this research on
>> parenting. She did not mention in the original e-mail that she is asking
>> both blind and sighted parents. I guess I'm one of the suckers that
>> answered her questions, but did it in the interest of, as always, debunking
>> myths and stereotypes about blind persons. (smiles)
>>
>> Interesting observations.
>>
>> Judy
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star
>> Gazer
>> via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:20 PM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Cc: Star Gazer
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>>
>> If you are interested in
>> Sharon's course, why not sign up? You are free to do that as is anybody
>> else
>> who is interested.
>> Is it just me, or do we have a college kid who is trying to take the
>> "barely
>> legal" way out of doing an assignment?
>> Think about it, all she needs to do is copy and paste any responses she
>> gets
>> and hand them into her professor. She doesn't even have to hand key the
>> responses.
>> I also don't believe for a minute that you asked these same questions of
>> sighted parents, and that you approached them with the same bias you have
>> approached blind parents. You knew you would get the type of responses you
>> did when you coupled it wht a bias that you may believe, or you may not
>> believe. Point is, you just got a few nice ladies, and probably a lot of
>> suckers to do your homework for you.
>> You do realize that some of your questions apply to women who experience
>> postpardum depression and/or anxiety, and that sight or lack thereof has
>> nothing to do with it? You do realize that there are a boat load of
>> industries that exist to support and assist families with infants. And, you
>> do realize that there are not enough blind people having children to
>> sustain
>> these industries, right?
>> You need to grow up, have some experiences, have children (because that's
>> when you will discover you don't know what you think you know) and come
>> back
>> in a few years. Your homework is due soon, so I doubt you will do this.
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
>> Parikh via BlParent
>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:06 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Alomi Parikh <alomiparikh24 at gmail.com>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>>
>> Hi Sharon,
>>
>> Yes, I came across your course on your website and am extremely interested
>> in knowing what and how you teach in this course. I completely understand
>> if
>> you cannot disclose details but a brief explanation would be a great start!
>> I will definitely try and work on the perspective aspect that you
>> mentioned.
>>
>> Thank you so much for replying and getting back to me!
>>
>> Regards,
>> Alomi Parikh
>>
>> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 10:55 PM, Sharon Howerton via BlParent <
>> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>>> Alomi, thank you for your questions. I work for the Hadley Institute
>>> for the Blind and Visually Impaired and teach a three course parenting
>>> series. We have students from all over the world, and I have had one
>>> or two students from India who have taken the parenting courses with
>>> me. I think the lifestyle in India may be different from what we
>>> experience in the US where Indian parents may live with extended
>>> family, for example, and some blind people in India may live
>>> differently than we do as well. I would encourage you to get a lot
>>> more information about blind parenting from both the American and
>>> Indian perspective, for example, but first you might want to learn
>>> about perceptions of blind individuals as this may be impacted by the
>>> culture of one's country.
>>> Good luck.
>>> Sharon Howerton
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
>>> Parikh via BlParent
>>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 11:06 AM
>>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>>>
>>> Hi Judy,
>>>
>>> First of all, I'd like to heartily thank you for contacting me.
>>> Secondly, I am extremely sorry if my assumptions hurt you in any way,
>>> it was not my intention.
>>>
>>> I am also sorry I didn't make this clear, but no, I am not blind. I
>>> have contacted the list to get a better insight and first hand reports
>>> that would help me in my project. And yes, I am not a parent.
>>>
>>> I spoke to a couple of Blind Parents from India and they indicated
>>> that they often had the help of their sighted friends and neighbors
>>> and I made the mistake of generalizing this.
>>>
>>> Thank you for the rest of your answers, they were really helpful. But
>>> I wanted to clarify a few things.
>>>
>>> The same set of questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted
>> parents.
>>>
>>> For example, my intention was not to imply that there is a problem
>>> providing safety but to inquire if you faced any safety issues
>>> personally.
>>> They are multiple safety hazards to infants in general and my aim was
>>> to find out if there is any major difference between the way Blind
>>> Parents and Sighted Parents take care of their infants.
>>>
>>> As for the question about the most worrisome part of raising an
>>> infant, I was just aiming at the psychology of the parent and not
>>> attacking a problem in any way. For example, several sighted parents
>>> replied with various answers such as Communication Gap, Making sure
>>> they are healthy, Facing the unknown, Night shifts etc. Hence, it was
>>> just a question to see how you as a parent (irrespective of being
>>> Blind or not) felt while raising your kids.
>>> I am sure you had some anxieties as well and that is what I was hoping
>>> to understand.
>>>
>>> Nonetheless, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiments in anyway by making
>>> any assumptions. But I am so glad that you replied as now I have a
>>> more clear picture of my topic. Thank you so much for taking out the
>>> time to read this long email and patiently reply to all my queries.
>>>
>>> I am eagerly waiting for more responses.
>>>
>>> To the other readers,
>>>
>>> I would like to reiterate to the others that personally I strongly
>>> believe that Blind Parents are 100% capable to raise their infants. I
>>> am just reaching out to understand if there are any problems or not
>>> and want to clear out any assumptions.
>>>
>>> The following questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted
>>> Parents and in no way are singling out Blind Parents by assuming that
>>> they will definitely have problems. These questions are to understand
>>> more about your Psychology as a parent more than anything else.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> *3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
>>> facedwhile raising your infant?4. What are some unconventional methods
>>> you use to keep your infant safe?5. What is/was the most worrisome
>>> part of raising an infant?6. What are some solutions you would
>>> suggest?7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?*
>>>
>>> Thank you once again for your valuable time.
>>>
>>> Alomi Parikh
>>>
>>> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 9:09 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Hello,
>>>>
>>>> Thank you for contacting this list.
>>>>
>>>> First of all, are you blind? I also take it that at your age, you
>>>> are not yet a parent possibly?
>>>>
>>>> You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the
>>>> blind parents do need some sighted assistance. Not so.
>>>>
>>>> My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are
>>>> now successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance. I
>>>> will qualify that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.
>>>> We are very social, and our girls have been also. As a natural part
>>>> of friendships, we would do things for each other. I would bake
>>>> cookies, or watch other sighted friends' kids, for instance. The
>>>> sighted parents might take my kids somewhere, because they could
>>>> drive. But we also took our kids places on the bus. We did not
>>>> have sighted help based on our blindness. We would do things for
>>>> each other as a natural result of being friends and filling a need.
>>>>
>>>> We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once. Most of the
>>>> time we hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would
>>>> congregate in kid-friendly places, because we wanted to. We were
>>>> very independent with our kids, using either cabs or buses to get
>>>> them where they needed to go, and we took other sighted parents'
>>>> kids with us, if their parents did not have the time or ability to
>>>> drive
>> them.
>>>>
>>>> To address your issues. Child safety is always of concern to
>>>> parents, not just to blind parents. Providing that safety is not
>>>> visual, but common sense. Again, you are making some underlying
>>>> assumptions that are not necessarily true. Blind or sighted, you
>>>> need to be aware of your environment, your child's environment, and
>>>> be in tune with your child. We were aware of safety precautions we
>>>> would need to take, and took them. A child who is choking is not
>>>> going to just sit there and choke. He will be moving and showing
>>>> other signs of distress, making some noises, breathing changes.
>>>> Granted, blind parents cannot see skin pallor, but there are so many
>>>> other symptoms that go along with what
>>> is going on with the child.
>>>> I'm
>>>> speaking from experience.
>>>>
>>>> The answer to your second question is obvious. I would resolve the
>>>> first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of
>>>> the incident. It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take
>>>> that and first aid classes that are offered in communities.
>>>>
>>>> The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from
>>>> seeing a sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers'
>>>> shoes so we could hear where they are. Another thing we did, if we
>>>> called for the child and they did not respond, we would take it on
>>>> ourselves to go find them. When we did, we would be very
>>>> matter-of-fact and say something like, Oh, there you are, and not
>>>> make a
>> big deal out of it.
>>>> We took control by finding the child ourselves, and not giving child
>>>> the control to come to us when they felt like it. A great behavior
>>>> to practice. By the way, I learned that one at guide dog school
>>>> years before we had children. (smiles)
>>>>
>>>> Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in
>>>> providing safety. There are not. The answer is prevention. There
>>>> are priorities of providing safety. As a blindparent of a toddler,
>>>> you cannot just sit in a chair, and tell toddler to come to you.
>>>> You need to be on your feet with that toddler when he is exploring,
>>>> when not by your side. That alone will eliminate a lot of safety
>> issues.
>>>> Your child is your responsibility, not someone else's.
>>>>
>>>> Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is
>>>> true of blind parents as well as sighted parents. We all do what we
>>>> can to make any hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in
>>>> the first place and thinking ahead.
>>>>
>>>> Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case,
>>>> that it was worrisome raising kids. It was not. It was delightful,
>>>> lots of hard work, but we enjoyed it.
>>>>
>>>> Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact
>>>> that the parents are blind. I can tell you also from my experience
>>>> of grown sighted kids that they will tell you the same thing.
>>>>
>>>> Judy
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>> Alomi Parikh via BlParent
>>>> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>> Cc: Alomi Parikh
>>>> Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
>>>>
>>>> Hello
>>>>
>>>> Respected Sir/Madam,
>>>>
>>>> I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University
>>>> in Pune, India.
>>>>
>>>> I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college
>> project.
>>>>
>>>> While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and
>>>> wholly capable of raising their own children, society may think
>> otherwise.
>>>> However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully
>>>> capable, they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain
>>>> reasons which curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to
>>>> realise that raising an infant is the most difficult part and there
>>>> are
>>> multiple safety hazards.
>>>>
>>>> After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to
>>>> work with as the following:
>>>>
>>>> Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants
>>>> (0-12 months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly
>>>> visual symptoms.
>>>> A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it
>>>> difficult to diagnose this problem or may require the help of
>>>> sighted friends and family.
>>>> I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to
>>>> realize what is wrong with their child and be able to take the
>>>> necessary actions, by themselves or just like any other sighted parent.
>>>>
>>>> I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and
>>>> sincerely hope you can help and guide me through this.
>>>>
>>>> 1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you
>>>> would like to add about this topic?
>>>>
>>>> 2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or
>>>> suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?
>>>>
>>>> 3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of
>>>> such a situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind
>>>> of solutions or tactics you use.
>>>>
>>>> 3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
>>>> faced while raising your infant?
>>>>
>>>> 4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant
>> safe?
>>>>
>>>> 5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?
>>>>
>>>> 6. What are some solutions you would suggest?
>>>>
>>>> 7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?
>>>>
>>>> I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.
>>>>
>>>> Thank you for your valuable time and help.
>>>>
>>>> Alomi Parikh
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> m
>>>>
>>>>
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