[blParent] BlParent Digest, Vol 237, Issue 4

[Esoteric Quality]

Thank you for your suggestions. Your advice is helpful.

Clayton Jacobs.

On Sat, Mar 9, 2024, 5:00 AM <blparent-request at nfbnet.org> wrote:

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> Today's Topics:
>
>    1. Re: Exhausted and frustrated (mbaldwin at gpcom.net)
>    2. Re: Exhausted and frustrated (Judy Jones)
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Fri, 8 Mar 2024 17:36:23 -0600
> From: <mbaldwin at gpcom.net>
> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blParent] Exhausted and frustrated
> Message-ID: <271101da71b1$6f0f6180$4d2e2480$@gpcom.net>
> Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="utf-8"
>
> Hey Clayton,
> You got to love email, missed the original post, and half the replies went
> to spam, but now that I've read it all I might as well give my two cents.
> I'm a father of 4, 3 girls and 1 boy. Oldest graduates this May and
> youngest turns eleven soon.
> So completely ignore me, I know nothing of raising kids. Besides, I have
> been known to tick some people off on this list and will most likely do so
> now.
> Others have mentioned teething and ear infections, but if pore sleep at
> night is the only symptom, I would rule those out. And, you didn't say
> anything else about anything else.
> IMO 6:30 is too early. Now if that is what is required to fit your daily
> schedule, than it is what it is, you can work with it.
> As a baby gets older, they need less sleep. Make sure he isn't napping too
> much during the day. At that age, all of my kids were taking 2 1.5 to 2
> hour naps, going to bed around 8 and sleeping until 6:30 a.m.
> Regardless of what others may say, a routine is important. Don't care if
> your 6 weeks or 96 years old, we all like our routines.
> If you do not have one, establish a bedtime routine. Warm bath, warm PJs,
> warm milk with some reading or quiet cuddling time, don't care what it is
> as long as it is calming, but have a routine.
> After you put him down, make sure you are QUIET. If he wakes and hears
> noises that will peak his curiosity. Babies, heck 17 year olds for that
> matter seem to suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out).
> If he is quiet when he wakes, do NOT go to him.
> If he cries, wait 1 minute before going to him.
> After 5-7 days add a minute, extend it to 5-10 minutes max.
> When you first go in, don't touch him for a minute, let him se you,
> sometimes that is all they need. If he quiets down, sit there and smile at
> him for about 5 minutes and leave the room. Do not touch him, unless you
> need to for his safety.
> If your presence doesn't quiet him, start talking or singing softly,
> again, not touching him.
> If that don't work, then you'll need to pick him up and soothe him with
> soft pats on the back, rocking, bouncing, etc. Best if you can do it
> without leaving his room.
> When he quiets, put him back in his crib, or where ever he is sleeping.
> Repeat as needed.
> Make sure he is well stimulated through out the day. Plopping him in front
> of Disney Jr or Baby first TV in a bouncer, walker, ... wait, do they even
> sell those now days? Does not count. Sorry, I don't keep up on baby
> devices. I guess too many parents used those devices to do the parenting,
> and kids suffered for it.
> Establish a daily routine as well if you can. Here is a summary of ours at
> about that age for an example. And yes, it worked with ALL 4 kids, even
> though they are different, have different personalities, etc.
> 6:30 woke up and had warm milk from the tap and cuddle time with mom
> before she left for work.
> 9:30 nap time
> 11 to 11:30 woke up, when this got to consistently an hour or les I
> switched to a 1 nap a day routine. I rarely let them sleep more than 2
> hours, sick, quite rare for my kids, was about the only time.
> Ate lunch, after waking. Helps program them to be hungry at that time, so
> it makes it hard for them to sleep longer unless sick. Works for adults as
> well. Anyone that eats consistently at the same time, and then misses that
> time knows exactly what I'm talking about.
> 2:30 nap time 2.
> 4 to 4:30, wake up time. Mom was usually home with some fresh milk.
> 8:00, bed time.
> In between times was filled with snacks and milk as needed, crawling
> around, exploring, playing, anything to keep that little mind working.
> Was it as perfect as it looks? Of course not, Let's face it, babies are
> manipulative little parasites that we love.
> If there are no physical issues, and you want him to sleep, keep him awake
> all day. Won't be fun for either of you. Works great for resetting bed
> times, especially during these damn hour changes.
> Speaking of hour changes, make sure his room is dark. We humans are
> biologically, or however you want to call it, connected with the sun. Might
> as well start screwing that up for him now.
> Hope I explained stuff well enough for you and I wasn't too confusing with
> my ramblings.
> Use the suggestions or not, you?re the parent, only you can decide what is
> best for your kiddo. I'm sure some will consider my techniques torture, but
> as a parent, you will have to do stuff you don?t' like doing to help your
> child learn and grow.
> Providing some clarification on some things and other changes that he
> might be going through could help provide better suggestions.
>
> Michael
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 2
> Date: Fri, 8 Mar 2024 17:22:09 -0800 (PST)
> From: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [blParent] Exhausted and frustrated
> Message-ID: <162390117.0.1709947328091 at localhost>
> Content-Type: text/plain;charset=utf-8
>
> Hi, Michael,
>
> I'm also an older parent.
>
> I would disagree with you about the teething issue, only because of my
> experience. With our youngest, she mysteriously started waking up around
> 11:30 and staying restless until around #3 or 4. It wasn't a matter of
> wanting to stay up, just that she couldn't go back to sleep. Making the
> long story short, the teething tablets we came across did the trick and the
> problem disappeared. We're talking about the back teeth coming in with
> older babies. With our younger one, none of this happened. All kids are
> different.
>
> We also never scheduled naps for either girl, but they did take them when
> they were tired, and we didk eep the bedtime schedule and other routines.
> Other than the random episode of teething, both girls were sleeping through
> the night when very young babies. Both were bristfed.
>
> Another thing, we also never let them cry. As babies they started out
> sleeping with us, but when sleep patterns lengthened, gave them their own
> rooms.
>
> Being a nursing mom, I'm thinking your wife's schedule may have been more
> demanding than you're making out.
>
> Fast forward to preschool and school, both were eager to go, to try new
> things, have grown up to be independent and self-directed. And both seem to
> be raising their kids the way they were raised, and we're seeing confident,
> independent grandchildren develop. Jada is 36 with 2 children, and Sadie is
> 33 with 3 children. I love watching them both. I tell them they are my
> favorite reality show. They both "mom" differently, yet both are good moms
> with kids that listen.
>
> Like you said, parents figure out what works best for them, and
> suggestions are just that.
>
>
>
> Judy
> sent from the HIMS Android braille tablet
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Michael baldwin via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Date: Friday, March 08, 2024 03:37 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> CC: mbaldwin at gpcom.net
> Subject: Re: [blParent] Exhausted and frustrated
>
> Hey Clayton,
> You got to love email, missed the original post, and half the replies went
> to spam, but now that I've read it all I might as well give my two cents.
> I'm a father of 4, 3 girls and 1 boy. Oldest graduates this May and
> youngest turns eleven soon.
> So completely ignore me, I know nothing of raising kids. Besides, I have
> been known to tick some people off on this list and will most likely do so
> now.
> Others have mentioned teething and ear infections, but if pore sleep at
> night is the only symptom, I would rule those out. And, you didn't say
> anything else about anything else.
> IMO 6:30 is too early. Now if that is what is required to fit your daily
> schedule, than it is what it is, you can work with it.
> As a baby gets older, they need less sleep. Make sure he isn't napping too
> much during the day. At that age, all of my kids were taking 2 1.5 to 2
> hour naps, going to bed around 8 and sleeping until 6:30 a.m.
> Regardless of what others may say, a routine is important. Don't care if
> your 6 weeks or 96 years old, we all like our routines.
> If you do not have one, establish a bedtime routine. Warm bath, warm PJs,
> warm milk with some reading or quiet cuddling time, don't care what it is
> as long as it is calming, but have a routine.
> After you put him down, make sure you are QUIET. If he wakes and hears
> noises that will peak his curiosity. Babies, heck 17 year olds for that
> matter seem to suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out).
> If he is quiet when he wakes, do NOT go to him.
> If he cries, wait 1 minute before going to him.
> After 5-7 days add a minute, extend it to 5-10 minutes max.
> When you first go in, don't touch him for a minute, let him se you,
> sometimes that is all they need. If he quiets down, sit there and smile at
> him for about 5 minutes and leave the room. Do not touch him, unless you
> need to for his safety.
> If your presence doesn't quiet him, start talking or singing softly,
> again, not touching him.
> If that don't work, then you'll need to pick him up and soothe him with
> soft pats on the back, rocking, bouncing, etc. Best if you can do it
> without leaving his room.
> When he quiets, put him back in his crib, or where ever he is sleeping.
> Repeat as needed.
> Make sure he is well stimulated through out the day. Plopping him in front
> of Disney Jr or Baby first TV in a bouncer, walker, ... wait, do they even
> sell those now days? Does not count. Sorry, I don't keep up on baby
> devices. I guess too many parents used those devices to do the parenting,
> and kids suffered for it.
> Establish a daily routine as well if you can. Here is a summary of ours at
> about that age for an example. And yes, it worked with ALL 4 kids, even
> though they are different, have different personalities, etc.
> 6:30 woke up and had warm milk from the tap and cuddle time with mom
> before she left for work.
> 9:30 nap time
> 11 to 11:30 woke up, when this got to consistently an hour or les I
> switched to a 1 nap a day routine. I rarely let them sleep more than 2
> hours, sick, quite rare for my kids, was about the only time.
> Ate lunch, after waking. Helps program them to be hungry at that time, so
> it makes it hard for them to sleep longer unless sick. Works for adults as
> well. Anyone that eats consistently at the same time, and then misses that
> time knows exactly what I'm talking about.
> 2:30 nap time 2.
> 4 to 4:30, wake up time. Mom was usually home with some fresh milk.
> 8:00, bed time.
> In between times was filled with snacks and milk as needed, crawling
> around, exploring, playing, anything to keep that little mind working.
> Was it as perfect as it looks? Of course not, Let's face it, babies are
> manipulative little parasites that we love.
> If there are no physical issues, and you want him to sleep, keep him awake
> all day. Won't be fun for either of you. Works great for resetting bed
> times, especially during these damn hour changes.
> Speaking of hour changes, make sure his room is dark. We humans are
> biologically, or however you want to call it, connected with the sun. Might
> as well start screwing that up for him now.
> Hope I explained stuff well enough for you and I wasn't too confusing with
> my ramblings.
> Use the suggestions or not, you're the parent, only you can decide what is
> best for your kiddo. I'm sure some will consider my techniques torture, but
> as a parent, you will have to do stuff you don't' like doing to help your
> child learn and grow.
> Providing some clarification on some things and other changes that he
> might be going through could help provide better suggestions.
> Michael
>
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> End of BlParent Digest, Vol 237, Issue 4
> ****************************************
>