[Faith-talk] Boy friends, et cetera

[Beth]

To answer the questions you have, Penny, the man is not comfortable
with me because he feels I am weird and messed-up.  He has false
assumptions about me because of psychological issues I'm dealing with.
 This is why he needs to forgive me for what I do.  I wish I could
come out and say, "Forgive me, Governor."  But I can't.  Sorry to
mention his name.  Anyway, he probably needs space, but I think he is
a hypocrite because he caims to love Christ, but feels that one blind
woman is one too many for him.  I wish I could tell him a lot about
what's going on.  Also, I could use his help with something my
ex-boyfriend is going through.  He just wrote me asking for help with
this fiend of his who has cancer, and I wish I could talk to this
other guy about it.  There's so much I want to talk to him about, but
he's being such a jerk.  Space can't be the solution.  I think, for a
blind person, he is discriiating against blind women, and his
African-American roots could say so otherwise.  Nothing about
African-Americans, though.  His Judaic Christianity and his making me
undesirable for him is basically the big thing that bothers me.
Christ taught us to love one another, and even those we may not be
comfortable with no matter what other people say.  I'm sure if Jesus
were here today, he'd probably have hit both of us in the head (grin).
 But I know I've been too possessive, but I feel that whatever
happens, the man involved should at least try to frgive me and if he
wants to talk about it, he can.  It was a simple friendly gesture I
made, and he just went bananas.  Sorry if this bothers anyone.
Beth

On 11/5/08, Penny Golden <goldpen at frontiernet.net> wrote:
> Dear Readers,
>
> I read the note asking for prayer for a man who is supposedly a
> hypocrite and was avoiding the writer of the note.
> I am afraid I felt a little sorry for the guy she was writing
> about.  Is it possible that, somehow, she is pursuing this individual
> in a way that is not comfortable for him?
> He doesn't perhaps want to come out and say: could you back off--but
> that may be the way he feels.  Is something embarrassing him about
> the relationship?  Is he feeling somehow entrapped?
>
> I'm sorry to write on such a delicate subject in this manner.  We
> don't have the entire story--and, probably, it is a good thing we do not.
>
> Maybe the boy wants some space.  maybe he has plans to visit the
> parade with someone else.  Maybe, for some reason, he is not
> comfortable with the writer.
>
> My Aunt, a wise old pagan, told me something that I have never forgotten:
>
> She said, "Penny, you must not be so possessive."
>
> I was twelve years old at the time; a friend of mine had promised to
> come over and I was really fretted about it.  Yes, it was a broken
> promise and it was not right of my friend to make a promise and then break
> it.
>
> But perhaps my wise old Aunt was correct: I was being too possessive
> of my friend.  She might have wanted to pursue something that she was
> uncomfortable for me to be a part of.
>
> I remember how Tom Sawyer would go down-town but he didn't want
> Huckleberry to accompany him on such jaunts.  Huck and Tom were good
> friends--but somehow, his raggedy friend Huck was a bit of a drawback
> in some of Tom's plans and pursuits.
>
> I do have a wonderful group of friends whom, I think, feel
> comfortable with me.  This subject might well be one that needs a
> little airing.
>
> If we force our friends to play with us, at some point, they'll go
> elsewhere, where we can't follow--just to get some breathing room.
>
> Forgive me if I've stepped on too many corns.
>
> On another subject--I've seen so much anger and unkindness in some
> posts that I have just refused to read any further posts from people
> who have hit me that way.  I never thought I would get to the place
> where I would avoid reading correspondence to a list just based upon
> the writer's name--for I'd been so disappointed in what I had read in
> the recent past.
>
> Maybe that's how my letter hits some of our readers.  If so, I'm sorry.
>
> As blind people, we are pretty sensitive to having been discriminated
> against in various situations--only because of the
> blindness.  Sometimes it is true discrimination and it's
> despicable.  Sometimes we have made ourselves so unlovable or so
> nasty or so vociferous that we have made others tremendously
> uncomfortable or embarrassed to be around us.
>
> Thanks for hearing me out.  I don't have a lot of answers--and I
> haven't presented my thoughts too  rationally.  But perhaps someone
> understands something of what I've tried to say.
>
> Kindest regards,
> Penny
>
> P.S. I do hope this subject is not beyond the compass of this list.
>
>
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