[Faith-talk] FW: [URCTCPrayerGroup2] URCTC Prayer Group 2 Informational: [New post] Spouse Abuse – What is It? copied from internet

[Eric Calhoun]

Original Message: 
From: "BeeJay" <beejayokla at cox.net>
To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
Subject: [URCTCPrayerGroup2] URCTC Prayer Group 2 Informational:  [New
post] Spouse Abuse - What is It? copied from internet
Date: 
Mon, 5 Dec 2011 01:44:26 -0600




                       
                        New post on sisbeejay    

                                  Spouse Abuse - What is It? copied from
internet
                                by sisbeejay  


                              Spouse Abuse - What is It?
                              Spousal Abuse is a difficult behavior to
define because it encompasses a set of symptoms that involve both physical
and/or emotional abuse. When it takes the form of emotional abuse, it is
characterized by verbal ridicule and/or putdowns that demean and patterns
of neglect. Physical abuse involves the threat of physical violence and may
include slapping, shoving, and deliberate physical assault. 

                              Spousal abuse is a pattern of behavior that
may be the result of a number of different factors. It may be a learned
behavior that a child observes occurring between parents and later repeats
in his or her adult relationships. Studies show that abusers are often
motivated by feelings of powerlessness and insecurity. Spouse abuse
inflates the ego and provides a false sense of control. It may be the
result of a misguided sense of love that results in unhealthy
possessiveness and/or jealousy. 

                              Society is now becoming more aware of
spouse abuse than it has been in the past. Previously, even if gross abuse
was reported to the authorities, the law was reluctant to get involved. It
was assumed that the man was ruler in his own castle and the authorities
had no business there. At best it was viewed as a misdemeanor. That view
has changed. If a man or woman feels abused, there are now many
organizations ready to help. There are also many websites that offer
information, help, and advice. 

                              Spouse Abuse - Just How Serious is it?
                              Spouse abuse is a very serious form of
exploitation that will escalate when left untreated. There is a cycle of
violence that often begins with a pattern of verbal denigration and
emotional abuse and intensifies until it manifests itself as a form of
physical abuse. Verbal abuse is perhaps more sinister than overt physical
abuse. Long after the black and blue bruises and broken bones from physical
abuse heal, verbal abuse continues to silently erode its victim's
self-worth. 

                              The classic abuser conveys a message to his
victim that she is responsible for his negative behaviors; that she is a
failure in most or all of the roles that she is fulfilling; and that, apart
from him, she is helpless. Victims of abuse eventually come to believe that
they are powerless and objects of shame. Statistically, reports of women
being abuse are more common than that of men. 

                              Spouse Abuse - What does the Bible say?
                              Nowhere in scripture do we find God
sanctioning any form of spousal abuse. In Colossians 3:18-19, men are
instructed to pattern their love for their wives after Jesus' love for His
church. This is described as a sacrificial kind of love; the kind of love
that seeks the very best for the one who is loved. Emotional and physical
forms of abuse are diametrically opposed to the concept of sacrifice; such
behaviors are selfish and self-seeking. 1 Corinthians 13 teaches what
genuine love is all about and has much to say about what love is not.
According to this passage, love is not self-seeking, is not easily stirred
up, and does not behave hatefully. Clearly, abuse is not a demonstration of
genuine love. 

                              Misinterpretation of Ephesians 5:22 has led
some to believe that the role of submission permits abuse of power and/or
mistreatment of a spouse. The true meaning of this passage is a
demonstration of a husband's role as initiator of unconditional love, which
results in the wife's role as responder, willingly placing herself under
his headship. Submission is not something to be taken, but rather something
to be given. 

                              Jane had been a victim of spousal abuse for
a number of years. Until her husband began to punch and shove her, she had
no visible scars of her injuries. After being shoved down a flight of
stairs, she sought help at a local shelter for abused women. Her counselor
encouraged her to not return home until her husband agreed to seek help for
his abusive behaviors. After learning that he was risking his marriage,
David agreed to get help. Eventually he was able to learn to express his
feelings and find meaningful ways of developing self-worth. Jane and David
later came for Christian marital counseling to work on developing a
genuine, loving relationship. 

                              sisbeejay | December 5, 2011 at 7:28 am |
Categories: Uncategorized | URL: http://wp.me/p1sTxT-hW 

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