[Faith-talk] FW: [FriendshipCenter] Finding Comfort in the Midst of Grief

[Eric Calhoun]

Original Message: 
From: "Kliphton-SR" <kliphton at gmail.com>
To: "Kliphton-SR" <kliphton at gmail.com>
Subject: [FriendshipCenter] Finding Comfort in the Midst of Grief
Date: 
Sun, 4 Mar 2012 08:24:14 -0600

Finding Comfort in the Midst of Grief

by Sabrina Beasley

 

I had always turned to the Bible when I had problems, but after losing my
husband I was hesitant.My husband was killed instantly in a head-on
collision, leaving me with a 2-year-old son and a 3-month-old nursing baby
girl. I was devastated. My husband and I were madly in love when it
happened, and living on top of the world. He had just started his dream
job,
feeling confident and excited. Our family was healthy, happy, and eagerly
anticipating our unfolding prosperity.  

After his death, my soul bled profusely like a severed limb, and I needed
a
tourniquet to stop the bleeding. I grasped at anything that would bring
comfort. I read many wonderful books about grief, heaven, and peace, and
they were all excellent material, but none of them seemed to address the
wound. 

It occurred to me that the Bible, the unadulterated Word of God, had
always
been the book I turned to when I had problems in my life. But I found
hesitancy in my heart. I felt like a wounded lamb, helpless, hurting, and
mistrusting of anything, even the Shepherd. 

Part of me was afraid of God. I knew that this tragedy had happened under
His sovereign will. How could I trust Him if He would allow such a thing?
If
I trusted my life with Him, would He let something like this happen
again?
Did He really care about me? Those dark fears battled me internally for a
few extremely hard weeks.

But awareness of my own sinful nature made me more afraid of myself. God
had
been faithful to me my whole life. He had shown Himself to me many times
and
in many ways. Would I be like the children of Israel who praised Him
after
miracles and then built idols when faced with trials? I prayed that He
would
increase my faith and give me back the trust that I so longed to embrace.
I
was like the man who said to Jesus, "I believe, only help my unbelief!"
(Mark 9:24). 

Renewing my mind

The Holy Spirit responded with a reminder of two promises: "The Word was
God" (John 1:1), and "Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of
God" (Romans 10:17, NASB).

If I wanted to know God in a new way, if I wanted to see His purposes, if
I
wanted the faith to believe, I knew the only way I could be transformed
was
to renew my mind with His Word (Romans 12:2). 

I started by re-reading the book of John-a book that emphasizes life. For
too long my mind and heart had been filled with stories of death, and I
needed to be reminded that there is something more powerful than death.
There is eternal life. 

The first night I opened the Bible and began to read it, I could not get
enough. It was a soothing balm of healing and mercy flowing throughout my
soul. The words reached beyond my grief to even the faintest traces of
bitterness and hurt. God's love embraced my heart, and I could not stop
weeping, overwhelmed by His grace, mercy, power, and purpose. All of
it-the
wreck, the suffering, and even life as a whole-came back into clear
focus.
The words of Christ rescued me from drowning in self-pity, lifting me out
of
the pit where I was wallowing. I remembered what this life (and death) is
all about-the gospel. 

The fact is we will all face death-not one of us will escape it. But the
good news is that Christ has overcome death, and when we put our hope in
Him, we will share in His life. The purpose of this life is to spread that
message to every living creature!

Getting ready for battle

Grief is a battleground, and the Word of God is a weapon. It's a sword
(Ephesians 6:17) meant to help us fight the spiritual battles, of which
grief, in my opinion, is the greatest.

Looking back at some of my doubts and fears, I can see a very real battle
with the principalities of darkness. The Bible tells us that we will go
through tests of faith; it's  something that all true believers will face.
There are different kinds of battles for different people. Perhaps it will
come through a miscarriage or a divorce or a mid-life crisis. However it
is
accomplished, we will face battles. And we cannot fight without the
appropriate weaponry. 

When Jesus was in the wilderness being tempted by Satan himself, notice
the
weapon of choice (see Matthew 4:1-11). Even Satan used Scripture to tempt
Christ! We must fight fire with fire. In the spiritual realm, the
Scriptures
are your weaponry. Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is living and
active, sharper than any two-edged sword,  piercing to the division of
soul
and of spirit, of both joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts
and
intentions of the heart." 

As I read the Bible, every question I had, every fear, every hope of
purpose
was answered. It gave me comfort and understanding. I had a renewed hope
and
peace that came from nowhere else. 

Apparently, I'm not the only one to feel this way. According to
GriefShare.org, a ministry that helps people who have lost a loved one,
there are others: "I know there are a lot of books, and people gave me a
lot
of books, but I think the best book is God's Word," says Bruce, a
widower.

And Dr. Norman Peart writes, "During a time of grief and difficulty,
spending time in God's Word is really more significant; it's at a higher
level because you are more open to what He is saying and what you may not
have heard before. You are in a situation where every word means
something;
every word could be life or death in just how you feel."

Especially in a time when death is so prevalent in a person's mind, it's
important to be filled with words of life and light. The Bible is the book
of life, and Jesus is the light of men. Jesus said, "The thief comes only
to
steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it
abundantly" (John 10:10).

A plan of action

If you don't know how to wield the sword of the Spirit, it is time to
learn.
Perhaps you've never read the Bible and you don't know how to begin. If
you're reading to stop the bleeding of grief, start with the book of John
and continue reading the New Testament through 3 John. After that, read
Psalms and Proverbs. And then start at the beginning with Genesis. If you
find a passage that particularly ministers to you, read it over for
several
nights in a row. This is how you meditate on Scripture.

Or perhaps you are like I was. You've read the Bible, and you are
familiar
with its passages. Even so, read them again. God's Word is living
(Hebrews
4:12) and your eyes will be opened to new truths each time you read it.
Don't forget to find passages that particularly minister to you and
meditate
on them. You might even consider memorizing some of them.

If you find yourself bitter or angry at God, that's okay. Read the Bible
to
find the answers that you seek. God is willing to hear your questions.
Consider the words of His very own Son as He died a torturous death. "My
God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). Jesus was crying
out in anguish, just as those of us who are grieving experience the pains
of
death. 

The Bible says, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will
find;
knock, and it will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7). Don't be afraid to
look
for the answers. You will find them in the Bible.